Since my sexual life is beyond active I really have no choice, especially since after my last check up (5 months ago) and my last official partner (Joseph) I’ve been with many regular guys… and even took some risks with few of the last because… I don’t know… asides from the heat of the moment, many things in me changed when he left…. fear left with him, reason left as well… and the name of my blog (Lust without you) became what I knew it would be without him around me.
So, I spoke to the doctor, I told her about my stuff and she examined my penis, my anus, my morals, my insanity, and whatever else she needed to.
Everything seemed fine and optimal, but the blood test will gave me the final verdict next week. *fingers cross*
I guess more than nervous I was a embarrassed by my confessions (I used to say “one partner” not multiple) which is ironic since I’m a shameless hussy in the blogosphere. But truly, I’m a lot more reserved with my privacy in person.
As I mentioned, normally I’m in couple, a monogamous one. However being single makes my reality a lot different with all the booty offered to me and my incapacity to say no.
I also talked to PatrickA about it and he’ll do his test next week to make sure we are both clean.
You know, sort of to make our relationship exclusive after that… Well, at least that’s what I thought until he texted me this:
I didn’t know what to say other than “don’t encourage me that way” because I KNOW I have no self-control whatsoever (when it comes to sex) unless I have an exclusive partner (exclusive and regular are two different things) that I need to be taking care of, ’cause obviously I don’t love myself enough. And that’s not a joke, it’s a fact!
We have to talk about it in person this weekend. But whatever we decide, it will be for a reason… And maybe, just maybe… I should learn to love myself a little more.