IMG_6850My relationship with PatrickA is not going so well. It’s been a week or so that he’s acting hot & cold, our sexual encounters have decreased as much as his enthusiasm, and I feel like he’s pushing me away.

All this situation started when I told him about Davis, because I cannot lie. Plus the fact that he always encouraged me to keep my options open gave me the courage to speak up.

However the way I treat him or what I feel for him never changed, but it has changed on him.

He cancelled our plans on Friday, and he pretty much abandoned me yesterday too… During the afternoon I tried to make plans with him again, but told me he had other plans and persuaded me to do the same…

Well, I did my best to give him my time ’cause I made him my priority since the day we met, but I don’t beg.


It was clear he didn’t want to see me, and since I was not in the mood to spend my Saturday night depressed at home I decided to say yes to any other guy… and that guy was Xavier.

I met Xavier on Instagram almost 2 years ago, back then we double tap on each other pictures but nothing else. When my last long-term relationship was over, he made obvious that he wanted to met me… Sadly, it didn’t happen ’cause I found him too young, plus I was never alone.

Recently he’s been texting/sexting me again, now a little older and a lot more shameless… He invited to go out last night. At first I refused expecting I’d see PatrickA somehow (my unconsciousness is monogamous,) but I ended up accepting because I don’t allow myself to wait for an expectation.

Although I label Xavier under my “lover’s list” when I blog, I didn’t know him in person until last night… Today is safe to say that he’ll be one, and perhaps the only one.

What a gorgeous guy! 

Xavier is a bit taller than me, he’s slim/fit, and even though I was the older guy, he was treating me as if was younger than him… so protective, and so adorable. So unusual.

See, despite my slut image and moves on the blogosphere, I’m actually a very shy guy in person, especially around hot people… “You’re very shy, I didn’t expect that” he said , while I was trying to get drunk and chill my nerves. Then he added “You’re cute, I don’t understand how can you be single?” #StoryOfMyLife

We clicked really easy, and after the resto, he grabbed my hand, held it and we walked to a club… where our lips finally met.

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We ended the night making out at the rooftop patio of the club we went. It was strange but he was kind of in charge of me, and made me feel safe with him. An atypical feeling since I’m always the one leading the way… Xavier is versatile, but I think his top side is stronger with me.

Anyhow, we had a really good night. 

Nothing sexual, nothing perverted, pretty vanilla but good for a first time. Which is good ’cause I need to get rid of everyone else if I’m about to start something with him, and for that I need a little time.

Although, “spring cleaning” has already begun.

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