Culmination

1I saw Xavier last night, we met at some resto.

He was acting strange and not very enthusiastic.

He said he was ok but I was not feeling him there… which at some point it was getting on my nerves because as the good hedonistic I am, I’m not a fan of having a bad time.

At home we had sex, and although this time things were more spicy, I was left dissatisfied… and at that very moment the voice inside me said ENOUGH! 

I know Xavier likes me, he’s affectionate, but he can’t handle me and it’s not a matter of age, but of passion and determination, which makes me wonder: How much he really likes me? 

This morning walking together out of my building, I was feeling really sad because I knew he was not longer into me, and I thought about those times when I used to wake up at 6 AM to run to PatrickA’s flat and get in bed with him… For him to hug me tight, to make feel wanted and have his athletic body on me and amazing kisses devouring my lips… Because no one has ever kissed me with such dedication, and not many guys have fulfilled my soul like PatrickA did. And I missed him.

I guess what my subconscious was trying to say is that I have to close this chapter and turn the page because it’s clear that Xavier is not longer there.

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