Black Friday Claimed Two Idiots

maxresdefaultIn three separate incidents in America (because where else?) people were shot outside of malls during Black Friday while arguing about parking spots and other frivolous shit… Good!

Critics say retail outlets should expand the scope of Black Friday or do away with it entirely to minimise such conflicts.

I think these are the exact people we want to do away with.

Mindless consumers manipulated into chasing the label on a shirt made by a 12 yo Laotian girl.

Materialistic idiots without the capacity for self reflection.

What’s the necessity?



Let’s encourage Walmart to offer a free Kim Kardashian Beauty Kit to the first six people who can reach the counter between the hours of 2:00 and 2:02 am. Weapons welcome.

A forty inch flatscreen for seven bucks, we only have one in stock. Let’s see a Gladiator battle featuring the dullest members of society. First shopper to collect ten scalps gets a 20 percent discount on a Fitbit. 


This may sound like a joke, but Americans have proven that the unthinkable is possible in their country where the most idiotic (the Whoredashians) and the most absurd (Trump!) is acceptable on a society that has lost all sense of logic, decorum, dignity and intelligence.

Black Friday consumerist misconduct is the lowest form of self-respect, because even getting double fucked like a slut has a lot more class, pride and self gratification than fighting like an idiot and killing each other for a cheaper item that would never give you as much pleasure as sex.

But that’s probably what those people need.

An angry society like them is in real need of getting double penetrated, which is exactly why they elected that ignorant orange opportunist as the next President of the United States.

He is surrounded by a lot of dicks being one himself.

The saddest part of this farcical violence is that most of this Black Friday shit is available online…

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