I Can’t Even… Zsa Zsa Gabor Has Died

b03ee9a6cd3dd2d370e123adbcfd9508Every chandelier has automatically lowered itself half-mast today and every crystal flute of champagne that gets poured will be flat and bubble-less, because human diamond Zsa Zsa Gabor has been chauffeured off to the afterworld in a bright white Rolls Royce and has reunited with her sisters Eva and Magda.

The legendary goddess of glamour and opulence Zsa Zsa Gabor (born name: Sári Gábor) died today at the age of 99.

Her journey to dazzling the world with glamour and beauty started when she won Miss Hungary in 1936.

She followed her younger sister Eva Gabor to Hollywood and eventually got her big break when John Huston cast her in Moulin Rouge. Zsa Zsa went on to star in many, many movies and television shows.

Zsa Zsa wasn’t really known as an actress. She was mostly known for her glamour, gorgeousness and her ability to make diamonds look more luxurious. 

Many obits I’ve read so far have called her the “original Kim Kardashian,”and I hope the ghost of Zsa Zsa is putting her legendary slapping hand to good use by slapping all those bitches who wrote that, because how dare they compare her to that!!!

Zsa Zsa was married nine times (including to Conrad Hilton) and during the past few years, she has been through it.

So, in a way Zsa Zsa’s death is a mercy.

Rest in peace, dear. You are no longer suffering and can now get to work on finding husband number ten in heaven.


Thank you for your glamour, beauty and wisdom, dahling.

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