Jhoe You Can Do Better, Gurl

It looks like the expiration date on Jennifer Lopez and Drake’s relationship contract really has come and gone, because Jhoe is reportedly humping a dude who looks like my late grandfather, Alex Rodriguez. Whatever keeps you in the news.

The two have a lot in common. First off, they have the same face.

They’re both in their forties. Both are from New York. Both have fucked a ton of people. In other words: LATINOS!

Rodriguez is Dominican, Lopez is Puerto Rican. Same thing. Sluts! I CAN’T! 

According to sources, the two had known each other for some time but didn’t start having really weird sex until Rodriguez went to Vegas to see Lopez do her music show: 

“Alex went to the show a couple of weeks ago, with his friends, and he was blown away.”

What kind of man is blown away by a dance number? You don’t need multiple choice there. 

There’s no greater indicator that someone is completely obsessed with themselves than when they start fucking someone who looks like their brother or sister… Ewww.

Jokes aside JLo is a hot woman, and him… not attractive whatsoever.

If I were Jennifer I’ll be humping on the hottest men only because I can! After all if you still single after 40, it’s morally acceptable to be a slut. 

Although… I’ll be too shy to do that. #Innocence

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