Dumbass Almost Hit By Train Because The Future Is Too Quiet

Authorities in Auckland, New Zealand are urging all dumbasses to look both ways before they cross train tracks, after a local dumbass was nearly hit yesterday.

But in fairness to the dumbass, the new electric trains in the area are pretty quiet. Too quiet, if you ask this dumbass. 

Modern urban life is one of noise, for dumbasses and non-dumbasses alike.

But with the rise of humanity’s dumbass electric cars and dumbass electric trains, our dumbass brains haven’t yet learned that some trains make a lot less noise these days.

Even more when you have your headphones on and walk like a reckless mess. 

“It’s really important that you check both directions before crossing, a train can come from either direction,” local rail services manager Craig Inger told New Zealand Herald. “The lights and bells mean don’t cross!”

It could not be confirmed by press time whether Mr. Inger meant to say, “The lights and bells mean don’t cross, DUMBASS!”

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