My Fear

Unlike your basic slut I don’t hookup with people, we become a thing on the spot. From Joseph to Xavier and so on.

Charm, pity, hooker appeal, it doesn’t matter the concept of me. They buy it and we take it from there.

However, when they want to introduce their friends or family to me I get stressed, because as I mentioned before, I never feel good enough.

I never had this fear in the past, all my ex in-law’s loved me in fact. But as my boyfriends got younger my insecurities grew bigger.

I know they accepted me the way I am, but would they be able to handle disapproval from friends and family if that were the case? I asked myself many times.

Relationships are ONLY of 2, and in my case nobody get in my way because my strong personality prevents unwelcome opinions and keep people in check. #BossBitch

But younger guys tend to get influenced by everybody else.

During my relationship with Joseph, we got into arguments few times because he was friend with some gossip guys that followed me on Facebook, friends of ex friends of mine.

Obviously their opinions about myself were based on the image I project (and jealousy because I always got the hottest guys) and not of the person I am (full of pureness and decency) because unhappy humans do that. They just blah blah when they don’t have a life.

Xavier wanted to introduce me to his mother few times, but I was too embarrassed. While he’s young and gorgeous, I didn’t have the courage to expose my old tired face and cause him a problem with his family.

Now, Carl is coming back to Montreal next Thursday and wants to introduce me to his friends over some social drinking… Ugh!

I really appreciate the fact he takes me serious coming all the way from Ottawa, but is it really necessary to meet his entourage this fast?

I mean it’s not even a week that we know each other.

What’s the rush?

Maybe he feels insecure and doesn’t believe my truthful words?

That said, meeting people I’m not having sex with makes me anxious.

On the other hand, meeting people over a drink is an idea I like because the more you drink, the better I look.

Tagged , , , , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: