My Heart Is Refusing Me

The last months of 2010 I met Jaden, and we officially started dating the early months of 2011. He was from Toronto.

When we become boyfriends not too long after, he was coming to Montreal twice a month just to be with me, until
he moved for good during summer.

Jaden got a science degree at McMaster University and was considering to go for medicine, but he was not in any rush. Also, taking into account that he was part of his family’s successful restaurant business he had no financial stress whatsoever, so he was just living life.

Jaden’s dedication to our relationship was admirable, and in a way, Carl enthusiasm reminds me of that dedication.

However, Ottawa is a lot closer than Toronto…  Carl is not Jaden, and I’m not longer the guy I was some years ago.

Although I like Carl, I’m not passionate about “us” and I can’t give all of me…

Of all the partners I had after Jaden (official about 12: I’m so burning in hell!) the ONLY 3 I fully committed my spirit, my penis and my ass to were Joseph, David and Xavier (not even PatrickA whom I adored).

I guess that clearly shows who were the real owners of my heart.

Long story short, Carl is a good guy but I can’t keep going with this.

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