Phases & Flashback Chapter I: UNCONDITIONAL

I’ve been pretty busy during the weekend, work and Mother’s Day together was hell rushing home after work to attempt looking human for my mother on her day.

If there’s something that I hate more than “dressing up” is to rush!


Today at work they played a song I haven’t heard in ages,
and spontaneously reminded me of an ex boyfriend of mine.

I unconsciously smiled thinking of him and of those days
when we were young and free.

Since I have nothing fun to write due to the fact that my sex life is on hold since 3 days ago (but feels like 3 years) I thought to blog about those particular songs that bring to me memories of them.

Obviously, I have to do it in parts (or chapter like a book) ’cause I’ve been in love with several guys of various personalities, during the different phases of my life. 

It’s hard to chose only 1 song (specially one that is not sad,) so I’ll post 2 (of the countless songs) for each one. Songs that inexorably make me think of them.


This is the phase of my life when I was decent, immaculate, ingenuous and gave unconditionally all of me.

Hubby: Near a decade together, I have many songs in mind, but the one below came out when we met, and describes it all.

Never a fight, never a frustration, he was the cutest, the smartest, most brilliant, most talented, most romantic, and always brought out the best in me. I discovered the meaning of love, devotion and admiration with him.

Being from Hong Kong I also discovered a new world, a new culture I adopted and expanded my horizons in many ways.

Aside from our devastating breakup (that inspired my first painting named Decadencia) our story was pure joy until the very “end”… And still is.

Bunny: Our relationship was very passionate and INTENSE! We broke up a 100 times, but got back together 99. Since civilised words had no effect, I became aggressive, obnoxious and scandalous in order to deal with him whenever he acted jealous and insane.

He was crazy, but made me crazier to the point of doing the unthinkable… Even calling his mother (who btw loved me) when shit got out of control because his mom was his best friend (super cute) and the only person he feared. LOL

Luckily our neighbours never called the police, but he often played this song to me when he was upset.

Bunny was overall an adorable guy, but also the epitome of WILD and the antithesis of everything I knew. But I admit, it was FUN! However we always had great communication and were sexual soulmates. Our daily sex (or 6 days a week) during the 3 years together was proof of that.

Breaking up with him was very hard , considering that during that time I worked in porn (and since our relationship was very sexual) everything made me think of him… So, it was torture!

But in the end love evolved and to this day we remain confidants and good friends. He always makes me laugh and also makes me want kill him sometimes. I played a lot the song below when he left my apartment ’cause I missed him quite terribly….

Chapter II coming soon…

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