Instead of staying in bed I decided to go see my doctor.
For once my issue had nothing to do with sex.
My issue this time was my head and my mental health.
I’ve been having strange symptoms and headaches for over a month, but the lack of time prevented to check myself. I spoke to my doctor, told him all I had to say and blah blah…. I don’t have any sing of a tumour, gladly.
But before all that, with his awesome sense of observation, he asked me if I suffer of anxiety. “Agoraphobia” I replied.
My new doctor is nice, he seemes very curious about me and not only because he’s also gay (I want to believe) but he seems sincerely dedicated to help his patients.
Since I openly speak my mind and express my sexuality, I always ask him all type of questions. And I think he’s the first doctor who doesn’t seem uncomfortable with my explicitness.
Anyhow, I told him how the Agoraphobia is fucking me up.
How being around too much people makes me anxious, nervous and flustered. I cannot show my face in public unless I’m wearing sunglasses and covered my face under hoodies or a cap. How I prefer to hide during the day and go out like a vampire during the night. And all those things that normal people won’t understand of me.
The other day I met a psychology student who wasn’t only horny for me, he was also into my psyche, and told me: “You need to know how interesting you are”. Obviously I thought he was joking, but he was mad serious and surprised to find out I don’t even have a TV.
But when I mentioned my Agoraphobia I think he got extra hard! (he did)
Anyway, back to my doctor…
He told me another doctor will contact me soon for a psychological tests.
I also asked him for an Std screening. I did some blood test, plus he prescribed me the PrEP treatment to be extra protected since my sex life is beyond active and I don’t have a serious partner at the moment.
The last time he asked me when was my last sexual encounter I said “yesterday,” this time I said “2 days ago…”
- Him: “Improvement”
- Me: “Not luck!”
I like my doctor, he has a sense of humour.
Anyway, I’m glad I’m finally doing something to help my Agoraphobia.
I never took it seriously but it’s affecting me more than before, and living in isolation is not the most joyous way to exist.