Do you love the classic disco song September by Earth, Wind & Fire but always wished it was just a little shittier? Well, you’re in luck ’cause Taylor Swift just covered for Spotify’s Singles series.

Instead of evoking feelings of  joy, nostalgia, love and sexy fun, it evokes feelings of asthma attacks, stale beer honky tonks and suicidal ideation!

I’m sorry to do this to you but you might as well get it over with.

Ready? One, two, three HIT PLAY!

No, no and fuck no! Leave that tune alone!!

I promised myself not to know what is a Cardi B and under no circumstances will I allow myself to enjoy that mayonnaise version of an EW&F classic.

Don’t get me wrong the kid is talented, BUT she sucked every last bit of soul out of that celebratory song. This is similar to when Adele turned George Michael’s “Fastlove” into a weepy, tuneless dirge… Just NO!!