It looks like 2018 isn’t turning out to be the complete flaming anal fissure that 2017 was.

A jury said “Bye Bitch!” to Bill Cosby, North and South Korea vowed to stop warring, the Golden State Killer was possibly caught, and now we’re learning that ABBA is going to cause ears to jizz out glitter by releasing new music.

I guess I’m going to clean myself and patiently wait for all my tops to knock at my door, at the same time, tonight asking “wanna fuck?” Because if ABBA got back together, anything is possible!

ABBA (made up of Agnetha Fältskog, Benny Andersson, Björn Ulvaeus, and Anni-Frid Lyngstad) once turned down $1 billion to reunite for a huge world tour, so them getting back together could be the final sign of the apocalypse.

Deadline says that over 35 years after they broke up in 1982, ABBA reunited to record two new songs, one of which is called I Still Have Faith In You. The songs will debut in December for a TV special that will air on NBC in the U.S. and on the BBC in the UK.

Sadly, ABBA isn’t going to slip into crotch-hugging satin jumpsuits to perform the new songs. Now ABBA has inspired many pop artist, and many has cover their songs as well.

Below 3 artist, but 2 of them always cause the gay angels to prolapse:


CARLA BRUNI (aka France’s former First Lady)


I might have to take a chance on this!