Archives for posts with tag: Can You Not?

The American politicians are the gift that keeps on giving…

Some Republican homophobic douche, Aaron Schock, who repeatedly voted against the rights of gay people while in office  was spotted making out with a guy (or two) over the weekend at Coachella.

(Coachella? He’s an even bigger douchebag than I thought).

Schock is known for his support of a federal amendment to ban same-sex marriage and his support of the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. 

Not to mention he recently slid out of corruption charges including filing false tax returns, mail fraud, wire fraud, submitting false reports to the FEC, false statements, and theft of government funds, defrauding the government of more than $100,000.

Yes A REAL JEWEL this motherfuker is.

Long history of it in the republican party…

You know, I just did some research on him and to be honest, I don’t know who he was fooling…. His poses, lifestyle and clothes scream I LOVE COCK to me.

It’s so unbelievably frustrating to see a man that voted against other people rights time and time again, living so freely and openly, while his voting record is responsible for so much misery in the gay American community.

He’s a Republican after all, and gays like him only know 2 things: The gym and being a whore! Never expect anything more.

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Heinz has taken a page out of Pizza Hunt’s handbook and has whipped up some 100 proof fuckery in the name of a little media attention.

For Valentine’s Day, Heinz gave away tiny jars of tomato ovary eggs, and now they’ve decided to attack Jesus by releasing a pure abomination for his resurrection day.

Jesus is going to show up again to slap down those sucio pieces of trash at Heinz for desecrating holy mayonnaise like this.

Yes, Jesus loves mayo. Anybody with taste does!

Mayonnaise is made from egg whites, and Cadbury Creme Eggs are made from sugar, sugar, more sugar, even more sugar, keep going with the sugar, a drop of egg whites, and enough sugar to kill Augustus Gloop.

So because it has some egg whites in it, Heinz decided to make mayonnaise out of it.

They have mixed together Cadbury Creme Eggs and a dollop of Heinz mayo for Seriously Good Creme Egg Mayo.

Those foolery-makers at Heinz must be so fucked up in the brains that they don’t know how to spell “gross” and spelled it as “good.”

Some things just don’t belong together, like Chris Brown and any living thing, dick cheese and cake (dick cheese cheesecake!), and now mayo and Cadbury Creme.

That’s a level of wrongness for which there are no words.

From the Hollywood Reporter:

Asked whether she believes Wade Robson and James Safechuck, who accused Jackson of sexually abusing them for a number of years when they were children, Streisand replied, “Oh absolutely. That was too painful.” The singer and actress went on to describe Jackson as “very sweet, very childlike” when she met him a couple of times in person.

Considering the documentary’s depiction of Jackson, she said, “His sexual needs were his sexual needs, coming from whatever childhood he has or whatever DNA he has. You can say ‘molested’, but those children, as you heard say, they were thrilled to be there. They both married and they both have children, so it didn’t kill them.”

It didn’t kill them it only destroyed them from the inside out. And his ‘sexual needs’ were paedophilia, a crime and a horrific one at that!

Da fuck Barbra?! 

When you think of who has really moved the needle when it comes to LGBTQ rights in America, you better think of those who led the Stonewall Riots, Harvey Milk, and Mr. and Mrs. Carter.

Sure, the Stonewall Riots and Harvey may have pushed acceptance and legislation, but without “Drunk In Love,” half the “About Me” sections on Grindr would be devoid of “grainin’ on that wood” euphemisms.

It’s either that or the team at GLAAD got themselves some good weed this weekend because they announced they’re giving the Vanguard Award for LGBTQ allyship to BeYAWNce and Jay ZzZz.

In a press releaseGLAAD says Bey and Jay will get their award March 28 at the 30thAnnual GLAAD Media Awards…

What have Beyonce EVER done for the LGBTQ community other than making obnoxious queens scream “yassss queen”?

OH. FUCK. OFF.

Before you put on your judging pants and clown on these people in China for engaging in fisticuffs over a damn StarFucks cup, clock the description (via CNN):

The company released a limited edition “Cat Paw Cup” in China this week, a double-walled tumbler with an interior shaped like a cat’s paw. When a drink is poured into it, the paw shape becomes apparent… “The paw shape becomes apparent”! 

Who wouldn’t punch someone over that?

A visual aid:

 
The cups went on sale on Tuesday for 199 yuan each ($30) and sold out that day. That’s when people started getting violent. Jesus, it’s not that serious, it’s like they were Hello Kitty or Jocelyn Wildenstein-branded.

Well, StarFucks cups are usually so boring and feature that dumb mermaid.

It goes to show you that inserting just a bit of whimsy in your products can cause bloodshed amongst idiots!

And that’s a sign that your product designers and marketing people need a bonus.

The FlOpscars played last Sunday… And dude in the background was my thoughts exactly. He’s obviously thinking, “Bitch, it’s just Original Song, DAMN, it’s not that serious!

As expected, Shallow won Best Original Song, and Gaga may have out OMGICANTBELIEVEIT’d Taylor Swift in the manufactured reaction department.

If mirrors had eyes that could roll, Lady Gaga’s bathroom mirror definitely would’ve rolled its eyes a thousand times as Gaga rehearsed the speech she gave, complete with scripted dramatic sighs, a million times in it.

Gaga laid it on so thick that I wanted to fuck “it.” I truly don’t know what was more over-the-top: Gaga’s speech or her fake tan.

Regardless, Jennifer Hudson reaction was the best part of Gaga’s Razzie winner extra speech:

Truly, Im so over the fake shock and tears. She acts like an underdog while being a successful and famous artist for the last 10 years… WHY ALL THE THEATRICS?? 

Eminem and Three 6 Mafia won Oscars for best song, while excellent musicians such as Karen O never won.

This is a popularity contest and YOU are popular. Fucking CHILL! 

CBS News reports:

“Empire” actor Jussie Smollett is in custody to face charges of making a false police report when he said he was attacked in downtown Chicago late last month by two men who hurled racist and anti-gay slurs and looped a rope around his neck, police said. Police spokesperson Anthony Guglielmi said prosecutors charged Smollett with felony disorderly conduct, an offense that could bring one to three years in prison and force the actor to pay for the cost of the investigation into his report of a Jan. 29 beating.

Former Cook County prosecutor Andrew Weisberg said judges rarely throw defendants in prison for making false reports, opting instead to place them on probation, particularly if they have no prior criminal record. Smollett has a record – one that concerns giving false information to police when he was pulled over on suspicion of driving under the influence. According to records, he was also charged with false impersonation and driving without a license.

To be honest I had never heard of him until this.

My first impression was that he was really attractive. Sounds like he was talented too. But then this… And my biggest problem with THIS is he just made it harder for actual victims to be believed, and homophobic and haters to think they’re right.

Thanks for nothing, asshole!