Tag Archives: CANADA

Timeless Classic Of The Day

A Night To Remember by Bryan Adams

Let’s make out, let’s do something amazing.

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Weed Is Officially Legal In Canada

As a Canadian person, I can confidently assure outsiders who look upon Canada as this always-smiling apologetic utopia. It’s cold for about 11 months of the year. Near every pond lurks a pack of Canada Geese that will either try to bite you or will laugh as you slip on their poo.

But at least we can now legally smoke all our problems away, because today marks the first day  that cannabis is 100% legal in Canada.

There were a couple times parliament tried to pass decriminalisation bills, but they didn’t take until 2017, when the Cannabis Act was passed.

The bill officially went into effect today, thus making Canada the second country in the world, behind Uruguay, to legalise it for recreation, medical use, and cultivation.

CBC notes that the rules will vary from province to province. All but two provinces require you to be 19 years old (Alberta and Quebec are going with 18). You can smoke at home and in public (depending on the city), and bring 30 grams of weed on a plane, but you can’t get high and get behind the wheel of a car.

You can also buy weed online and have it shipped to your house.

Forget what I said about the geese, this country is obviously great. But you can’t sell it, you have to buy it from the government or an approved source.

Canada is also considering releasing people in jail for weed-related offences.

On the other hand, stoners started to line up at 3:30 am in front of our government-run legal pot shops here in Montreal.

I don’t smoke, but will always support its legalisation, so blaze it bitches!

Happy Legalisation day to all my fellow Canadians!

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CANADA: One Week Away From Legalised Marijuana

The Associated Press reports:

Mat Beren and his friends used to drive by the vast greenhouses of southern British Columbia and joke about how much weed they could grow there. Years later, it’s no joke. The tomato and pepper plants that once filled some of those greenhouses have been replaced with a new cash crop: marijuana. Beren and other formerly illicit growers are helping cultivate it. The buyers no longer are unlawful dealers or dubious medical dispensaries; it’s the Canadian government.

On Oct. 17, Canada becomes the second and largest country with a legal national marijuana marketplace. Uruguay launched legal sales last year, after several years of planning. It’s a profound social shift promised by Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and fuelled by a desire to bring the black market into a regulated, taxed system after nearly a century of prohibition.

Personally, I don’t smoke. And the smell of weed is awful in my opinion. But I don’t judge those who love it. In fact smoking weed is as common as drinking wine, or eat poutine here in Montreal. Again, Canada is a very progressive country.

We have free healthcare, abortion is legal since 1969, same-sex marriage is legal since 2005, and now marijuana.

Meanwhile in Trumpistan (formerly the United States) Trump is now hating Taylor Swift… because his only job is to divide that country.

Oh Canada! What a wonderful civilisation we have.

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Tune of The Day

Cinq à sept by Koriass

J’essaie d’m’échapper d’mes remords.

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Happy Thanksgiving

Today is Canada’s Thanksgiving, which is basically American Thanksgiving that comes too early and is way more casual because we are always ahead! 

Just like the Americans we share all the same foods, like turkey and stuffing and potatoes. But there’s one tradition that will stand out on a Canadian Thanksgiving table if you live in the province of Ontario or the surrounding areas, and that’s Gay Lea-brand canned aerosol whipped cream to happily crash your pancreas and liver function on this special day.

I don’t know who Lea is and I’m also not sure I’ve ever actually bought a can of her whipped cream from the store. But Gay Lea is so common. She just magically shows up next to the ketchup and on your fridge door the night before Thanksgiving.

Gay Lea has been around since 1958, so bitch is a legend.

Of course, some people make their own Thanksgiving whipped cream from natural ingredients, like cream and sugar. But so does Gay Lea!

They just happen to also add an extra dash of sass that makes it taste like pure butter and never seems to expire.

You’ll have it in your fridge until American Thanksgiving rolls around.

Plus, Gay Lea whipped cream makes an excelled second meal. Just squirt some into an open tin of E.D. Smith pumpkin pie filling (another canned Canadian Thanksgiving star), and scrape out as much as your lack of dignity will allow.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

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If Kavanaugh Were A Nominee In Canada…

As everyone knows, the socio-political system between The United States and Canada are very different. We are basically two different worlds. While we have our own issues, nothing is as outrageous because our system won’t allow it.

This weekend the U.S. Senate confirmed accused sexual predator and right-wing operative Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court in a lifetime appointment. And perhaps, the only thing more horrifying is the process by which this scandal has unfolded.

The sickening Republican reaction to Dr Christine Ford’s testimony, social media battles, and divisive rhetoric have highlighted severe flaws in the American political system.

Legislation and the current political climate in Canada, by contrast, ensure that a similar situation would almost certainly not reach the height it has in the United States.

1. The stakes would have been lower

In the United States, Supreme Court decisions and appointments are highly politicised. Court decisions usually, but not always, fall along party lines. Currently, the court is comprised of four liberal members, four conservative members, and one “swing” member. It is that swing member, the seat that Kavanaugh will fill.

American Supreme Court judges are appointed for lifetime terms, meaning Kavanaugh’s could solidify the Republican grip on the court for decades. That likely means that the Court will agree with conservative perspectives on abortion, workers’ rights, affirmative action, and same-sex marriage.

If Kavanaugh were a nominee for the Supreme Court of Canada, such debates would be quiet, if they existed at all. Canada has already largely settled the issues listed above.

Decisions made by the Supreme Court of Canada are also seen less as political assessments of presidential decisions. The loyalties of Canadian Supreme Court Judges are also less determined by party than they are by region.

According to the Supreme Court Act, three of its nine seats must go to judges or lawyers from Quebec. By convention, the remaining six seats are divided as follows: three from Ontario, two from the Prairies, one from British Columbia, and one from the Maritimes.

Justices in Canada must also retire at age 75 and may be removed for indecent behaviour by Parliament. There is a lot more oversight.

2. There would automatically have been an investigation

In the U.S., the FBI only launched an investigation into the allegations against Kavanaugh at the order of Trump, who, in turn, only ordered an investigation at the behest of the Senate.

In Canada, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) would have begun an investigation on their own.

3. Members of Parliament would not have waged political war

MPs in Canada, outside the Cabinet, have almost NO SAY in Supreme Court appointments. A committee recommends a nominee to the prime minister, who then forwards the name of the nominee to the Governor General, who, along with the Queen, makes the appointment official.

In the U.S., a majority of the Senate must approve the president’s Supreme Court nominees. Senators have made the Kavanaugh nomination an all-out political war because they can capitalise on the situation.

4. There would have been no public spectacle

Because MPs don’t need to ratify Court appointments, there would be no need in Canada for the televised hearings that dominated American screens. 

Those hearings were almost entirely a public spectacle. Senators from both parties used the televised performance as a political platform. That was unfair to Ford, who bravely recounted her trauma in front of the whole country. Watching Ford fend off the belligerent, all-white male Republican contingent of the Judiciary Committee was especially infuriating.

Canada would have the decency to minimise the spectacle out of respect for Kavanaugh’s accusers.

5. Kavanaugh would disappear and maybe go to prison

After the withdrawal of his nomination, Kavanaugh would also likely be forced out of his current judicial position pending the conclusion of the RCMP investigation. From there, he would either disappear or be charged and convicted. If he were to go to prison, he would likely undergo a restorative justice program and rehabilitation.

In Canada Kavanaugh would have never ascended to the Supreme Court. The end!

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Creepy hand rubs Pussy

If you landed on this page after Googling, “Creepy hand rubbing down a fat pussy good,” then I’m truly sorry your sick ass landed on a picture of a Halloween decoration grabbing onto a cat and not whatever else you had in mind. You nasty, but I am sorry.

Kiko the Cat lives in St. John’s in Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada, and her human posted a video on Facebook of her getting a rubdown from a mechanical hand bought as a Halloween decoration.

Those humans laugh, but that cat is laughing at them because he has made that mechanical hand its newest slave.

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