We liked each other and had great sexy times, but at some point he developed feelings and that’s when I lost him.
And like him, many of my next ex-fuckfriends between relationships.
Back then I was an awesome top, but mostly, I was a guy who treat them right, like people, and not just like holes for me to satisfy my needs.
I believe that was the reason why the majority of them felt too much eventually, which in this new society it’s NOT a good thing because people are scare of feelings but not of STI’s.
But there’s always an exception to the rule, and Joseph was that exception.
We started as sexmates also, but unlike the rest he was not scare of feelings and our affair evolved into something stronger, so we became 1.
After our breakup a couple of years later, I met few other guys and they also became something extra. PatrickA was the last one.
Then Xavier came in the picture and after him everything changed.
My fuckfriends now are not longer bottoms but tops, and although they please me sexually they don’t please me emotionally, and by that I mean I feel no attachments of any kind whatsoever. Also, I cannot rely on them because younger guys think with their dick and not with their brain, so for that reason I have few at the same time and not just only one as I used to.
That being said, Cédrik was very affectionate last night and he texted me few times today, which is sweet but also confusing.
Cédrik is pretty hot, he’s physically and sexually boyfriend material from head to toe but… now… I AM the scare one!
Letting go of Xavier was very hard and I don’t wanna go trough all of that emotional shit again. See, I’m 90 year-old and my poor heart can’t handle that stuff anymore. Also, I’m going on vacations next week so cannot start a romance right now. Bad timing.
Anyway, the Montreal Gay Pride started this week so he’ll find someone else to get busy with, it’s cool.
And although he could be the exception, more 20 year-olds will come and go just like the hickey he left on my neck last night… Well, let’s hope!