Tag Archives: David

Phases & Flashback Chapter III: CARELESS

Here’s the next chapter of my previous post…

Between Jaden & Joseph another 5 years went by, and I started to feel my age. Although, looking fine on the outside I no longer had the stamina of my prime years, when I was capable to fuck and cum 6 times in one night. Yet frustrating, I still was capable to give my partners a good time.

From Bunny, my partners got younger. But after Jaden, barely legal.

Joseph was 18 when we met, David 19, PatrickA 19 and the oldest of my many fuckfriend before or after them 21. A new generation of independent guys with hot bodies, extreme open mentality, zero shame and zero taboos. And all after me, ’cause I’ve never hunt for anyone.

Blaming myself for not have giving Joseph all he wanted from me, I decided to correct my mistake. With my next partner I dropped my barriers, and with those after, I gave it all carelessly (feelings and dick).

David: My story with David was short and sweet. We had an instant crush and became lovers 20 minutes after we met. David’s mentality was beyond open and gave zero fucks to anyone or anything. He was an extroverted and got me used to public affection.

I experienced a new type of relationship with him, an open one! But it was the best for our situation and his double life… He was an escort.

The song below reminds me of him, not only because we played a lot when chilling, but also because he made me lose shyness and feel comfortable with myself. A bit like the end of this video.

I had a lot of fun with David he was a good guy in essence, but he loved trouble too much. Ironically he called ME “bad boy” which actually made sense, I was his type! Since I couldn’t handle his double life and knowing that relationships were born to die, I just enjoyed every moment we had.

After our breakup we remained friends and he used to come visit me after classes, but by then I had someone else and at some point we lost contact.

He was obsessed with the song above and played it all the time. Probably because it described well both of us.


PatrickA: PatrickA was my fascination. The contrast of my intense previous relationships… But that was not always a good thing… especially during sex… ’cause we never protected ourselves.

For some reason I never wore a condom with him, not even the first time we met. More alarming was the fact that he never asked a single question. And much more alarming the fact I DIDN’T CARE!

Losing Joseph changed a lot in me, and while I never took that risk with him (which created some issues ’cause he wanted raw) with PatrickA I went there all the way not caring anymore about myself.

Ironically, my bond with PatrickA was mostly cerebral and his brilliance mesmerised me.Yet, nobody has ever kissed me the way he did. PatrickA was not only genius, he also he had the body of a Greek God.

He could be the sweetest, the most perverted, the most geeky, nerdy, but also the most bipolar. PatrickA was not openly gay and having developed feelings for me also developed issue in his head. Despite that we lived a normal couple’s life, waking up next to each other almost daily.

 

I adored PatrickA and accepted him as he was, but eventually someone more determine came to my life (Xavier) wanting to give me what I started missing. And I chose to put myself first.

As most of my ex’s we stayed in good-terms, and the last time I saw him was early this year when he apologised to me for the times he acted like a dick during our relationship.

The song below played during one of our best afternoons together during spring, and always reminds of me of that moment with him.

Chater IV coming soon…. (I’m such a whore!) 

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Another Day, Another Date

I swear to God, whatever people smokes is working ’cause I had another date last night. I carefully chose 1 out of the 15 (at least) guys wanting to meet me yesterday. The Sex Gods really love me. YAY!

So, I chose Joe because he’s been “waiting” for over a year.

He’s an Italian guy and we started talking when my relationship with Joseph ended.

Sadly, an hour later after Joseph officially told me to get lost I met Siye… some weeks later after Siye I dated a guy from Toronto, and eventually got in a relationship with David (A white Colombian and my first Latino). After David, I had Aaron and Connor as fuckfriends until I met PatrickA… And everyone else in between and after him, including Xavier.

So it was the sensitive thing to do to finally meet Joe.

Besides, back then I was a VERY successful top. And he was a top as well.

Joe was nicer than what I expected.

He’s 28 yo (the oldest I’ve been with) he was a bit shy and not kinky as my man should be, but he was hot in different ways. He is very straight acting, strong hands, big cock, and those small qualifications someone who dream to be on top of me should have.

As a lover, he was pretty vanilla but he has potential. After all, not all tops are as daring, pigs and hungry as I was, but I can guide him to the right direction.

It’s funny how things change… When I was a top I trained my bottoms to become pornstars. Bunny and Joseph were my proud achievements. Now as a bottom I do my best to exploit my top’s potential. Xavier is proof of that as well… He improved SO much after some months together.

But great sex is a team work after all, and I love to help my partners to become AWESOME!

In short, Joe is definitely on my list of stable new fuckfriends.

But for now, I still have more casting to do… and lube to buy.

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NEGATIVE

I got my HIV test results from last week and I’m clean like filtered drinking water, good to do and ready for it… which I expected even if my doubts consumed me… and not because I don’t trust Xavier, but I never trust myself.

From the moment I lost my virginity (few days ago) I’ve always protected myself with all my long-term partners, and the few casual of the latest years too.

When I was about 37 yo, and over a year of relationship with my then partner (Joseph) he asked me to skip the condom. And although I was scare to do it (’cause I grew up in the 80’s/90’s when global campaigns to wear a condom was a mater of life or death,) I partially did at some point. Mostly to please him and avoid issues, but aware that we were both clean.

When Joseph left me, I turned careless and gave up on myself. 

After him I found myself in an open relationship (David) with 2 regular fuckfriends on the side… and I was not always safe with them. Not even caring that one of them worked as an escort.

Then I met PatrickA and we never protected ourselves. Even more alarming none of us asked a single question, which was very shocking. My rational fear was completely gone. Yet, for whatever reason I always felt safe with him even if I was beyond conscious that we were a timebomb.

Our great chemistry prevented us to fool around and stick together for several months until shit got complicated…

Meaning he was falling in love, which in younger guys is the equivalent of not having access to Facebook or Snapchat or something terrible like that. He was afraid of feelings but not diseases… In other words, the same story and excuse of all Grindr users.

During that period I obviously did my regular checkups. And when I met Xavier I did them again in order to start clean, which luckily I also was.

Since I’m not longer the top (read: manwhore) with Xavier, I became “careful” again ’cause the bottoms are more in risk to get ill. And while from times we act like fools, the risk is not as great as those I exposed myself before, ’cause unlike the rest Xavier is not the usual slut I was used to fuck. In that regard, he reminds me a lot of Joseph when I met him.

In a way I believe the Sex God sent Xavier in order to turn me a saint.

I’ve been lucky undoubtedly, but to reach my age fully healthy was not only luck, but discipline and self-respect.

In short, I’m not a role model of anything but what I’m trying to say is that a moment of risky pleasure is not worth a lifetime on medications.

Love yourself because once they cum, the love is gone. 

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A For Appropriate

Xavier texted me this morning, apparently he has an English assignment and wants me to take a look on it.

I obviously accepted because I like to be helpful.

Also I like the whole sexy teacher/ pervert student scenario, not that I didn’t do it before but this time it was not my idea. He’s definitely a top!  

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He’s got already an A for appropriate.

But perversion aside, I really appreciate to feel useful beyond sex.

I used to help Jaden practice his French when we were together. Joseph during his Spanish courses, which was entertaining considering he made fun of my accent. I was David’s “muse” for an English assignment. And I also used to helped PatrickA to study for his French exams.  

Obviously once the lessons done, things got always sexier. 

In Xavier’s case, although the scenario looks the same, the story will be different ’cause I’m not longer the one in control.

In short, he’d better work for that A+! 

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Day Off

Day off at last!

Finally can I blog again about sex life”... says my non-existent sex life!

Yeah I haven’t had any sexy since last Sunday, in other words 4 DAYS!! This is pretty scandalous and beyond unacceptable considering the amount of guys I could fuck with, but so you know I am not a slut. 

I was actually waiting for PatrickA to be free ’cause deep inside monogamy wants to win over me, but he’s very busy at school and here I am… fading like a flower who needs to be watered.

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I’m not sure if I’ll see him tonight, but I’m in serious talk to fuck with someone else before Saturday…

John Paul is his name, ’cause nothing like make your bitch someone’s who’s name reminds you of the late father of the catholic church!

Yeah you can judge me all you want but you can’t deny I have values and standards. 

And speaking of the opposite of values, I received a text from David this morning….

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He invited me to go eat today, but I have plenty of stuff to do sadly. However, isn’t he adorable?

I mean, we broke up about 3 months ago but he stills texting me from time to time. And regardless of how he feels about me, to me he will always be my Colombian babe, and my shortest & sweet relationship.

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Back To Reality

As a wise man, I kept myself and my sex calm over the weekend, but on Monday I went back to reality… Reality that has many names because I have no control over myself whatsoever when I feel TOO free. Unlike other people, singlehood doesn’t do any good to my reputation (let’s pretend I care), my bed sheets, and my sleep. 

That said, out of those on my regular list, and those I still keep in private, I saw David last night.

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I was a bit anxious to see him. Even if our “breakup” was cool, get together with your new ex for the first time it’s never evident. You can’t abuse his lips, molest him, nor do any other form of romance.

Although, David is very open to this “daddy,” I chose to keep it cool and save my loaded erection for my present guys. 

So, there he was looking handsome as ever, we hugged and he goes “Did you lose weight?” “Yeah I fuck more often now” I replied…  He laughed and said “Yeah saw a new guy in your pictures”…  obviously I was like “WHAT? What picture? Are you stalking me?” …. “Yes I am,” he replied shamelessly.

Don’t you just hate when your ex’s stalk you? I mean, I should be used to it already. He’s not my only ex who stalk me on Instagram after all.

Anyway, we ate, had a drink and before he fell asleep in my bed he told me something that kind of touched me… “You’re the first man who doesn’t hate me after breaking up. You’re a really good guy”

David is not a bad person, he’s just young, too entitle and too selfish sometimes… Obviously, nobody likes selfish assholes, but not everybody put themselves in the other person shoes.

As an older guy, I understood long ago that young people need to live.

They need to experience joy and pain in order to appreciate and value what they have. Pain in most cases is the best teacher, a necessary evil to make people more empathetic (or bitter, depending how uncool you are).

And I guess being empathetic is a one of my biggest qualities despite the prick image I project… But hey! Let me be honest here. I just put myself out there… I’m like bait for sharks. I’m just a victim of horny perverts.

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Long story short, it was nice to see David again. But it was nicer been able to save myself for PatrickA tonight. 

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Morning Text, Take 2

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So… After I replied to his early text, we were on again. He gave me an excuse and asked me if I was free to meet. I obviously said yes.

I never had a bad breakup, nothing nasty or mean. Well, expect for one. 

If I gave up on David is because I was unable to handle an open relationship. I liked him, however I was not as attached to him the way he was attached to me. Having experienced deep passionate relationships, what I had with him was mostly superficial. But to him I was something somehow serious, and I realized that in the end.

Anyhow, I  gave him my schedule and my demands for that meeting. He needs something from me but I’m done giving it all for free…

In other words, we’ll probably add an S on EX on Monday night because he knows that’s the only way to persuade me. And I’m also conscious of that.

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