Tag Archives: DC

Refund

The new, really long trailer for Aquaman is out and it’s 5 minutes of bro jokes, Amber Heard in an off-brand Ariel wig, a million tons of CGI, Nicole Kidman in a leftover The Twins wig from The Matrix, and zero shots of Jason Momoa’s bare nipples.

That mess is an ocean movie and there’s no Momoa nip in the trailer? Refund! 

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Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker

When I heard there was going to be a movie about the origin of the Joker, I just assumed there was a Netflix documentary about Kellyanne Conway coming out.

Luckily, they meant Batman’s sparring partner! 

Joaquin Phoenixis taking over the role as “Arthur” and we didn’t have to wait long for the film studio to drop a lewk at what Arthur looks like when he hits up the MAC counter.

As a fan of DC (and Marvel) comics and on serious note, I very much approve Joaquin’s Joker look. He looks mad and creepy as hell. In my opinion this looks for a mature audience, unlike Jared Leto’s trying-hard incarnation on Suicide Squad. 

Heath Ledger’s Joker set the bar very high, and it’s a good thing to cast actors in typical serious roles, like Phoenix, to portrait them.

Bitch looks absolutely insane and I’m buying it.

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Batdick

Looks like the people over at DC were inspired by their latest Batman, Ben Affleck, much more than anyone first thought. Not really by his performance of Batman itself, but by the performance of his dick in Gone Girl. Does art imitate life or life imitate art? Who knows.

Vice is reporting that in the first of a three-issue miniseries called Damned, our favourite extremely rich and broody super hero Batman, shows us his tool, and not one from around his belt, honey.

That’s right! Batman shows dick, and we aren’t talking Grayson. The NSFW (Is comic book dick NSFW?) is below and like Batman, Batdick is moody as hell and lurks in the shadows.

My thanks to writers Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo who decided that Batman’s cut dick was relevant to the plot development of this narrative. Thank you for your hard work.

So, after this  maybe there’s some Superpeen on the horizon? Oh god I hope so! I hope this means they keep Henry Cavill as Superman. 

Now Clark, it’s your turn. Let’s see what you’re packing, homeboy…

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The Aquaman trailer is Here

Here’s the trailer for his new flick which will doggy paddle into trailers this December.

Just in time for Christmas an underwater fap fantasy.

“Permission to come aboard”? Fuck yeah!

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Justice League= WIN!

I watched Justice League today and it was FANTASTIC!!

Please if you’re a comic book fan don’t let a handful of presumptuous and full of shit critics who are completely owned by Disney (Marvel’s boss) stop you from seeing this film.

Its not perfect, it moves too quickly, the villain, while well voiced, doesn’t get enough backstory, and the CGI is bad at moments BUT… It has a really solid superhero action, just enough character development to be satisfying, and really solid performances. 

Seriously, it doesn’t matter if some lines or actions seem unreal, it is a superhero movie, for gods sake!

I loved to see all those heroes (and gods of the first scenes) together.

Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman once again was PERFECT! Batman, Aquaman, Flash and particularly Cyborg was exceptionally well done. 

Justice League was exactly what my eyes needed to clean up the garbage that was Marvel’s Thor. This is a real superheroes movie, not another comedy!
  

FUCK the critics, this was great! (Yet WW still the best superhero film this year) 
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The Confusion Of Captain Marvel/Thunder/SHAZAM

Shazam, which is scheduled to arrive April 5, 2019, is the seventh film in the DC Extended Universe.

Actor Zachary Levi has been selected to play the superhero.

Now, Shazam has always been confusing to me ’cause I never knew how to call him. I mean I’m not even sure if they’re going to call him Shazam!

See when the character was first created he was named Captain Thunder with the original idea of having seven kids combine to become Captain Thunder (the same idea seen in Flashpoint). 

But the idea was changed to one boy… But the name Captain Thunder was already in use so the name had to be changed.

The character soon became Captain Marvelous. A little later, the name was changed to Captain Marvel. But also at the time Marvel comics had a female character with the same name.

Due to all that mess with the names DC keept the character relatively quiet. 

But with this relaunch, everything can change….

Now I think most of us, kids at heart, know him better as Shazam, even though Shazam is also the name of the wizard that gave this superhero his powers.

Anyhow, what I like the most about the story of Captain Marvel (or whatever the hell his final name is) is the mixed mythological /biblical references (I love mythology) as he has the wisdom of Solomon, the strength of Hercules, the stamina of Atlas, the power of Zeus, the courage of Achilles and speed of Mercury; when he (or they) call the power of S.H.A.Z.A.M!

In short, I hope they make a once for all clear story about Earth’s mightiest mortal.

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Lonely Night = Movie Night

I had a day off yesterday, and I did plenty of stuff.

The most important, something I can’t blog about until next week…

Randy messaged me to fuck, but I didn’t want to see him.

I think I’ve been seen him too much lately that I had an overdose of his dick. I mean, I see him a lot more often than the others and I don’t want that routine with someone I’m not in love with. 

But today is another day, and I have some sexy action later on because is Saturday and there’s no way I spend my Saturday night alone.

However, I did last night and I watched the DC animation Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox. Pure gold!

Although Marvel has better films, DC’s animations are far superior than Marvel’s. This is head and shoulders above all of DC’s animated movies.

It is the darkest rendering of these characters.

There’s a safety net here because it’s an alternate timeline (and we know by the end it’s going to be righted and everyone’s going to be A-OK).

But until then it’s bullets and blood and snapped necks and people razed to ashy smudged by laser beams.

Wonder Woman is Wonder Bitch (killing people left and right,) Batman is not Bruce but his father (a lot more savage,) Aquaman is Aquadouche at war with Wonder Bitch. And Superman is a malnourished version of himself thanks to the most destructive specie on Earth, humans!

All this mess is product of Flash running like a madafucker to change his past.

It’s a bit jarring to see them go this far but in a totally satisfying way.

The take on Batman especially is grim and ingenious. The animation is exceptional and does especially well conveying movement, something strangely lacklustre in a lot of American animation and that the Japanese mastered a long time ago.

The writing is strong, daring and zeroes in on some strong emotional moments. The 3rd act showdown in particular is a real treat.

Truly, it was a magnificent distraction for a lonely sexless night. 

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