Tag Archives: Do you Need A Moment?

Greedy Chipmunk Stuffing Nut After Nut Into His Mouth

File that headline under: A Title Found In The Animal Kingdom’s Version Of PornHub.

A human in the town of Aurora in Ontario, Canada took a video of a wild chipmunk they named Van Gogh (because of his notched ear), but they maybe should’ve named him Michelle Duggar since he can’t get enough of taking raw nut after raw nut.

The chipmunk knows that the human will give him as many peanuts as he can handle, so for the past two summers, he’s shown up to store as much food as possible for the winter.

The human gladly gives VG a quick pet and then feeds him as many peanuts he can stuff into his cheeks before he runs off to his burrow. If the human is still outside, he’ll come back for another fill-up.

Here’s the video that is will stuff your brain with brand new information by showing you that chipmunks go nuts for nuts!

Adorable!

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The Anti-Twerk Warrior Mom

This video from Reddit isn’t even half-a-minute-long, but for many Latinos, it sums up your entire teenhood years.

Two teenagers wanted to give the internet its 80,845,987th twerk show, so they positioned their twerkin’ butts in front of a webcam and twerked away.

But those amateurs fucked up and made a rookie mistake…

They didn’t wedge a chair under the doorknob so that mom couldn’t mess up their twerkin’ antics. EMBARRASSING!

Although, this chancleta-wielding twerk destroyer (the mom) is a pro, I bet she would’ve busted that door down in one swift move, and wouldn’t have let go of the laundry while doing so.

Not long after the girls tried to make it rain bitcoins with their twerkin’-for-the-internet moves, mom walked in and didn’t miss a beat when she pulled off her flip-flop and smacked the SUCIONESS out of those perras.

When it comes to chancleta slapping, this mom gets 10s all around.

She held firm onto that laundry, easily pulled off her weapon of choice, and perfectly busted out a walk-by-chancleta slappin’ before those girls could even realise the rage storm that was coming their way.

She came, she saw, she conquered with a chancla!

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PSA For The Obvious…

Some say that humans are the dumbest species to roam the land, but we are born with some natural instincts. Like we know that if we stick our hand in fire, we will end up with pork rind skin. And if we fuck John Mayer, we’ll end up all the way to the free clinic.

We also know that if you put your hand near a meat-eating creature who is always looking for its next meal, you’ll probably end up learning how to open up a jar of spaghetti sauce with your thighs since you’ll be down one hand.

That is why my brain shifted straight into “The fuck, girl?” gear while watching this video of a woman feeding a shark off the northwestern coast of Australia. And guess what? Feeding a shark is a shit idea.

CNN says that the woman was on the stern of a friend’s super yacht with some others, feeding fish to a group of tawny nurse sharks… Like the mess they’re named after they have been known to attack a trick periodically, and one of them bit at the finger that was waving right in front of its damn teeth, pulling the woman into the water.

Again, if you’re the kind of human who needs proof that feeding a shark isn’t a smart move unless you really want a pirate hook and don’t want to pay a doctor to amputate your hand, here you go:

Luckily, the woman lived and didn’t lose a finger. She did have to go to surgery, though, since she was left with a fracture and an infection.

Bitch isn’t mad at the shark for pulling a shark, she knows what she did was dumb.

Humans: 0 Sharks: All the points.

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The Girl In The Spider’s Web

I’ve never actually read any of the Stieg Larsson Millennium Series novels ’cause I’m not really into novels.

However, I watched the excellent 2009 original Swedish production of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, starring actual Swede Noomi Rapace, before Americans made the English version (’cause reading subtitles is hard, I can only assume) with Rooney Mara.

The Girl In The Spider’s Web is based on the 4th book in that series, but is actually the 5th movie to be made.

First there was The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, plus two follow ups The Girl Who Played With Fire and The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest, all with Noomi Rapace.

Now, this new production follows the American version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo with English actress Claire Foy as the main character (Lisbeth Salander)

In other words, it’s CONFUSING AF but it looks like my type of film.

I have no idea why did they skip the other two books, but although Claire looks great, and Rooney was brilliant… Lisbeth Salander = Noomi Rapace. Period!

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Ferrari Needs To Cut The Weed

Today marks the beginning of F1 Grand Prix weekend in Montreal, the event is huge, draws thousands upon thousands of spectators, both local and tourists, alike. 

Every year the world watches closely as the races go on throughout the weekend and come to close on Sunday.

This past week, Italian car company Ferrari was ridiculed online after posting a video of Montreal’s Grand Prix events that was very obviously a video of Toronto and it’s iconic skyline featuring the CN Tower. 

Yesterday, they’ve done it again to some degree, and I’m just sitting here wondering who the hell is running their PR ’cause this is just getting silly…

Ferrari posted this poster of Montreal, Canada’s F1 Grand Prix weekend to social media, and maybe they’re currently living under the microscope, but everyone have caught something on this poster that looks a bit questionable…

Now, I know we’re super close to legalising marijuana in our country, but this is just dumb. Those are clearly not Maple leaves, the iconic symbol of Canada that is on our country’s flag. Those are cannabis leaves! 

In short, whoever is doing this work over at Ferrari needs to cut the weed.

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Only in America

Donald Trump took time out from bashing his attorney general Jeff Sessions and making the Roseanne Barr racism storm all about himself to meet Kim Kardashian West and discuss the justice system!

You know, it’s been a while since my last Trump post ’cause it’s an every day circus and I got tired. But this is too good (for all wrong reasons) to ignore.

The fact that Kim Kardashian can have ANY influence on ANY White House decision is the epitome of the political and cultural degrade Trump is causing in that country.

Staff are going to have to fumigate after that trash administration is over!

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Commemorative coin…

I swore allegiance to the Queen when I became a Canadian citizen decades ago.

I like the fact we are part of The Commonwealth and of an old-fashion tradition. I like to see the face of the Queen in our currency, she’s been a great leader for what feels like centuries, BUT only her.

That said, I’m hating this new Canadian commemorative coin for Prince Harry and Meghan Whatever’s wedding…

I seriously don’t get the excitement of it. Okay, old people like me know Harry since he was a kid, and maybe that makes us nostalgic, but her… I know she’s an actress but I’ve never seen her in any film or show.

I have no idea how relevant she is, but all the buzz about it it’s pretty ridiculous.

Apparently the awful coin is edged in maple leaves, English roses and shells from Prince Harry’s coat of arms. It also features three Swarovski crystals to represent Markle’s three-stone engagement ring… It costs $104.95 and can be ordered from the mint’s online store at http://www.mint.ca and by phone.

One word: Meh!

364 days of the year I’m proud to be Canadian, but today was that exception.

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