Tag Archives: Do You Need Some Attention?

Bears and Cocks…

Mascots are a common sight at soccer matches. Traditionally, these take the form of cute little children who escort the players onto the pitch to start a match.

Sometimes, as was the case before a game in Russia this weekend, the cute little children are swapped out in favour of a huge fucking bear:

The slave bear , whose name is “Tim” per the BBC, was the guest of honour at Saturday’s third division match between Mashuk-KMV and Angusht.

Now, I agree that a bear’s place should be the freedom in the wild and not “entertaining” dumb humans, but at least he looks healthy and well fed. Regardless, this bizarre spectacle would only make sense in the ferocious land that is Russia.

Now, Tim wasn’t the only animal paraded about on the pitches of Russian soccer last weekend. An angry fan of a second division club decided to register his frustrations with his team’s manager by hurling a live rooster onto the pitch in the middle of a game:

 

Bears and cocks? For being so homophobic, Mother Russia is really gay!!

In short, if this is what a random weekend of lower league soccer in Russia has to offer, I can’t even imagine the chaos awaiting this summer’s World Cup.

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The big blue dick Of Stockholm

Noted Swedish peen artiste Carolina Falkholt is already known for painting a beautiful, veiny pink dick on the side of a building in Manhattan last year after she was commissioned by a local street art foundation. Some neighbors cried about it, and it was eventually painted over.

RIP Big Pink Veiny Dick Of Manhattan.

The same thing happened in Stockholm…

The Guardian says that about a week ago, Carolina’s latest dick art was unveiled on the side of an apartment building.

It’s a five-story tall cut veiny dick. It has been appreciated by people who love art, dicks of all shapes, colours and sizes, and Smurf cock.

But not everyone loves the giant sight of a blue dick and cock-blocked it by complaining. 

Here’s the five-story dick that’d impress even the most pickiest of size queens. (“Speak for yourself, bitch, I only get the tingles for dicks that are eight-stories or more.” – size queens).

So if you’re in Stockholm, get it while you can. And if you can’t resist the urge to lick it, make sure you play safe by Purell-ing your tongue afterward.

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Speaking Of Hookers…

It’s not exactly news that Canadian panty creamer Ryan Reynolds is HOT AF, and American Olympian Gus Kenworthy is one thirsty hooker. 

That pretty much sums up the following post.

The 26 yo Olympian has a habit of publicly hitting on male celebrities.

Last month he did a Craigslist Missed Connections post aimed at Ricky Martin and Jwan Yosef.

This month his target is Deadpool himself.

Upon learning that Reynolds started following him, Kenworthy jokingly stated Reynolds owes him some “mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.” 

I have to say, I love Gus’ public thirst tweets. 

I also love the fact he’s into older guys ’cause that makes me qualify.

Dude is so my type!!

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Battle of the Queens

Spanish royals: They’re just like us!

They too get into awkward, pursed-lips fights with their family members on Easter as your cousin films it all hoping that fists will fly because he’s always wanted to be on World Star. But instead of a cousin filming the Spanish royal tiff on Easter Sunday, the press did. 

THE QUEEN of England would never allow the cameras to capture a messy family scene. If she has a problem with a family member (mostly Prince Charles), she waits until the cameras are gone until she gives him 50 lashes with her pocketbook.

But LA REINA of Spain (aka Queen Letizia, who is in the polka dot blouse) doesn’t give half a caca about people seeing a messy moment between her and her mother-in-law.

The Telegraph says that for the past 10 years things haven’t really been roses and rainbows between Queen Letizia and her mother-in-law Queen Sofia, who was the reigning queen of Spain until her husband King Juan Carlos I abdicated the throne in 2014. Journalist Pilar Urbano released a book in 2008 and it was based on conversations with Queen Sofia. Queen Sofia said some things about Queen Letizia’s children and that pushed their relationship into the turd can. It became clear on Easter Sunday that things between them are still in the turd can after the royal family strolled out of Palma Cathedral in Mallorca.

After Easter mass, Queen Sofia decided to get in a little photo-op time by putting her arms around her granddaughters, 12-year-old Princess Leonor and 10-year-old Infanta Sofia (you wish you had that title), in front of the cameras… Queen Letizia didn’t feel like playing fake in front of the cameras, and subtly blocked the photographers while trying to push the Queen Mother’s hand off of her daughter’s shoulder. 

Queen Letizia’s man and Queen Sofia’s son, King Felipe, had to step in.

The mother-in-law v. daughter-in-law messiness didn’t end there. At one point, Queen Sofia kissed Princess Leonor on the forehead, and Queen Letizia swept in to wipe her mother-in-law’s lipstick from her daughter’s forehead… ESCANDALO!!

RuPaul’s Drag Race can go ahead and take this week off, because nothing is going to beat this battle of the queens.

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Trump: April Is Sexual Assault Awareness Month

The New York Daily News reports:

President Trump is getting a jump start on April Fools’ Day. Without a hint of irony, Trump announced Friday that next month will be dedicated to “sexual assault awareness and prevention.”

Trump, who has been accused of sexual misconduct by nearly two dozen women, said in a presidential proclamation that sex crimes remain “tragically common in our society”  and “offenders too often evade accountability.”

Okay… At this point, he’s just trolling EVERYONE!

But in all seriousness, we’re already aware that HE IS a sexual predator.

April should be Total Lack Of Self-Awareness month, instead.

Anyhow, in honour of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, this is for the women who live around the White House…

Be careful out there! 

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Speaking of Gag Reflex…

After we were all hit in the face with a ball of random in the form of the rumor that Donald Trump Jr. fucked Aubrey O’Day while his wife was pregnant with their third child, the investigative journalists at The Daily Mail went to work to look for proof of their affair… They may have found some.

Don Jr. and Aubrey supposedly started doing each other at the end of 2011 and broke up around March 2012.

The Daily Mail went through Aubrey’s twatter feed and found a tweet from March 2012 where her “babe” is protecting her feet from “bunion attacks.” Aubrey really typed the words “True Love Feet.”

Besides Don Jr., this is the worst thing that Aubrey O’Day has ever done, and that’s saying a lot since she also did the Trump-ified remix of Somebody That I Used To Know.

Feet love + Aubrey O’Day + Donald Trump Jr. = Your gag reflex doesn’t stand a chance.

His foot or his face? I really can’t tell the difference!!!

Let’s just say that Aubrey O’Day isn’t loving all of the attention… It would explain why she now looks like a tube of Bronzer after being pressed in a Kardashian mold.

Aubrey knew the world was going to find out that she probably boned Donald Trump Jr. and didn’t want anyone to recognise her.

She went from Tanya (looking like regular old white trash) to Tatiana (looking like an Eastern European escort). It sucks to see Aubrey going extra low, Damaged was my jam.

Anyway those Americans are the trashy gift that keeps on giving, and I am l-i-v-i-n-g, and I mean LIVING for this mess!!!

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And so begins the desperate attempt for ratings….

Men who make a living singing should know and accept their place in society. But when they forget, women like Katy Perry are here to remind them.

Benjamin Glaze is probably a 19 yo virgin and was saving his first kiss for his first relationship…

As he walked out onto the American Idol stage, chastity belt in full swing, Katy took something from Benjamin that he can never get back, his “first kiss.”

Normally any average 19 yo (or men of any age) would be ecstatic to discover that Perry is an easy woman that puts out without putting in any effort. Trust me! I know them well.

But not Mr. Glaze. He had his honour stolen… yeah dude is into melodrama.

I personally would only be upset if Katy gave me my first kiss after recently giving some other guy his first blowie ’cause nothing worse than getting your first smooch and your first snowball on the same day.

Anyway, what’s really sad here is the fact THAT is considered a kiss! 

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