Tag Archives: Do You Need Some Help?

Chance To Fulfill Your Freaky Fish Fantasies Just Sold Out

Just because bestiality is illegal doesn’t mean you should feel ashamed for wanting to be naughty with a fish.

In fact, the The Shape of Water film probably spoke to your subconscious urges to sleep with a South American fish man.

The movie could have easily been a superhero movie if a man bitten by a radioactive piranha had more interesting superpowers than eating cats and fingers. I’ve seen some weird sexual situations but I still don’t get fish porn.

After the Shape of Water won Best Picture at the PlOpscars all 28 “Jewel of the Amazon” dildo replicas of fish man peen on Etsy sold out. That’s 28 humans too many that were secretly turned on at the sight of their pet goldfish.

I imagine a good majority of the persons who  purchased the plastic fish phallus look like your average burlesque show attendee. Or the hyper horny quiet girl who’s also into cosplay and sells sexy photosets to support her hobby.

Either way any human aroused by sea creatures is a deal breaker for me.

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Nutella Riots In France

The French have officially proven that they can be as violent as Americans on Black Friday.

This week some supermarkets in France were advertising a special Nutella sale and people went absolutely crazy. According to witnesses, people were acting like animals, so the police had to intervene several times.

The jars which normally cost $7.25 were being sold for only $2.15…

WTF les francaises? Pourquoi êtes-vous FAT??

Consumerism, gluttony, immorality, and mental illness is what I see. It’s not possible someone decent and sane act this way. 

If Napoleon could resurrect, he would commit suicide in shame!

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Whatever Da Fuck happened to Erykah Badu

If you saw Erykah Badu’s name trending on the internet today and wondered why, I have bad news: it’s not because she showed up to an event in another awesome hat.

Erykah spoke to David Marchese for an interview with Vulture that was probably supposed to be about this and that, but quickly turned messy and she says that she sees the good in everyone, even Hitler!

Erykah talks about the Bill Cosby situation with Vulture, and normally that might be the touchiest point in an interview. But then Erykah outed herself as a non-Hitler hater.

You know you’re in a disaster of an interview when your support of Bill Cosby isn’t the part we’re cringing over.

Now, I understand that when talking about Cosby she tried to separate the entertainer from the criminal, but what’s the need to say something good about Hitler?

When the interviewer brought up an article from ten years ago in which she was linked to Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan and some anti-Semitic stuff he had allegedly said, she came up with this:

“I’m also okay with anything I had to say about Louis Farrakhan. But I’m not an anti-Semitic person. I don’t even know what anti-Semitic was before I was called it. I’m a humanist. I see good in everybody. I saw something good in Hitler…Yeah, I did. Hitler was a wonderful painter.”

Erykah added that Hitler had a terrible childhood and that might be why he turned out the way he turned out.

“I don’t care if the whole group says something, I’m going to be honest. I know I don’t have the most popular opinion sometimes. Why can’t I say what I’m saying? Because he did such terrible things?”

She said that she’s not anti-Semitic but Erykah’s Hitler thoughts are as bad as her career in the last 15 years… No more comments.

I still remember the Erykah Badu of the 90s and early 2000s, when she was a talented hypnotic performer. I had few of her albums in fact. Her image was eccentric yet elegant.

She is statuesque like a model, and she could have been one easily.

Fame is hard to handle for many, and drugs even more…

I can’t take seriously anyone who looks high on heroin or meth. That makes me judgemental perhaps, but I also see the good in people and Erykah is clearly fucked up!

I’m sure Stalin played wonderfully the piano, and Mao made some delicious rice.

Somebody please RESCUE HER!!

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RACIST Says He’s Not A Racist

The Associated Press reports:

President Donald Trump, on the defensive in the wake of recent disparaging comments about Haiti and African nations that have revived questions about whether the leader of the world’s melting pot is a racist, declared Sunday that he is not one.

“No, No. I am not a racist,” Trump told reporters who asked for his response to those who think he is a racist.

“I am the least racist person you have ever interviewed. That I can tell you.” Trump also denied making the statements attributed to him, but avoided delving into the specifics of what he did or did not say.

Mmkay let’s see:

  • If you demand the death penalty for The Central Park Five despite clear exculpatory evidence, you ARE a racist.
  • If you call neo- Nazi murderers “good people”, you ARE a racist.
  • If you refuse to lease your properties to black and brown people, you ARE a racist.
  • If you send black and brown people back to countries they’ve never seen or know the language, while allowing Russian women stay in your properties so they can conduct the very chain migration you love to condemn when it’s “those people”, you ARE a racist.
  • If you hound and falsely accuse your predecessor of not being an American citizen because he’s black, you ARE a racist.

Seriously, why the good people has to die while this parasite still on Earth? NOT FAIR!

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Those of you having trouble getting into the Halloween spirit are in luck, because Tara Reid is here to scare the holy hell out of you with these new pap pics.

For those who doesn’t know her, back in the 90’s she used to be a young hot actress most men wanted to do (something like Bella Thorne maybe)

Few nights ago she showed up at some restaurant in Los Angeles looking like a dehydrated, bulimic, barely-alive, broken inside out doll waiting to scare unsuspecting trick or treaters.

The best thing I can say about Tara in these pictures is that she looks like Maria Sharapova after she’s been dead for two weeks. Besides that, we just have a tragic reminder of what life in the Hollywood discard pile is like.

A terrible person once told me that you can never be too young, too thin, or too rich, but I think Tara is starting to poke holes in that elementary school classroom-ready mantra.

Seriously, it breaks my heart seeing humans my age (an younger) so destroyed.

In their quest to be/remain relevant they put their health at risk by trying to look like someone else, instead of taking care of what they have because inexorably our bodies change with age, and we will never look 18 year-old again.

Also, partying like crazy, alcohol, smoke, assorted drugs and whatever excess of the unhealthy doesn’t really help… Pretty sad to see her this way.

But to say something nice, she has looked much worse.

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Tila Tequila Anti-Muslim Crusader

When missionary and Tila Tequila are in the same sentence and it means spreading her beliefs instead of her legs it’s a clear sign the world is ending.

If you’re the same age of my lovers and you don’t know her, she was a Myspace (one of the first social networks) personality before Facebook arrives, and she was a big reality attention-whore before the KarTrashians take over the world.

And yes, she’s also made in America because, of course!

Tequila isn’t too brilliant. She believes JLo is just a “Mexican with money” and in a new video she’s focused her hate on “fake Christians,” Muslims, and anyone darker than she is.

She states that since becoming a mother (YES! This deranged person is someone’s mother) she now wants to play by the rules and laws of the land, conservative style.

She’s anti-porn with two unsuccessful sex-tapes under her belt.

Muslims at least have the support of anti-discrimination laws backing them from bigots. But when you come for the removal of places like Pornhub on the internet, you’ve just made things personal. 

I’m all for a hookers and rehab, but when you become a hater because your genitals didn’t make you rich and famous you need to stfu and at least make people remember you like the hot-trashy-Asian-slut from the early 2000s.

Definitely much nicer than a lunatic hooker.

This woman is in desperate need of psychological help!

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Fucked Up Hijo de Puta

Legendary Argentine soccer player mess Diego Maradona showed his support for the Venezuelan government of OFFENDER Nicolas Maduro in its “fight against imperialism,” on social media early this week.

Bitch posted on Facebook, “We are Chavistas until death. And when Maduro orders, I am dressed as a soldier for a free Venezuela, to fight against the imperialism and those who want to take our flags, which is the most sacred thing we have.”

Obviously his comments were condemned by everyone with common sense, ex-teammates and legendary South American soccer players.

Maradona was one of the greatest soccer players in history, but the hero he was on the field never match his personal life. On the contrary, he was undisciplined, disrespectful and unprofessional. He had issues with drugs, alcohol and whatever other substance that exist. He was and still is a terrible father and a horrible husband.

In other words dude is fucked up in every single area of life. 

However he still have an status of “god” and still getting millions in contracts. In fact, he lives in Dubai where he lives like a king, which is why his comments are double offensive.

Someone like him living large has NO right to say a word over a kidnapped country where people die everyday fighting for its rights. Venezuelans have no food, no medicine, and no access to basic commodities.  

It’s easy to support a lazy criminal like Maduro when your family is not the one starving to death.

FUCK YOU Maradona!

You should have died long ago from all the excess, but trash like you are usually and unfairly pretty lucky. 


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