Tag Archives: douchebags

Men Who doesn’t Do Oral = Boring Sex

There are many new acts out there, many entertainers that are beyond basic, but that society praise them because the standards are fucking low!

There’s one Latino rapper called Bad Bunny who’s apparently coming to Montreal to put on his computer vocal effect and charge big money for it, because he knows basics will make him rich.

That’s actually the case of another “artist” I just heard about thanks to his misogynist ridiculous statement…

DJ Khaled is some talented scam with access to an iPod Shuffle and therefor a DJ, and is making waves on the Internet for stating in an interview that he likes to receive head but does not like to give it:

“I believe the woman should praise the man, the king … It’s different rules for men… I’m the King. I’m the King of the house… There’s some things that y’all don’t want to do but got to get done. I just can’t do what you want me to do. I just can’t.”

Not to be racist but… Muslim much?

And before you get on my ass, I know my shit! All the gay-closet Muslims I met think that sexiest way. That’s why it never worked between them and I.

Not only they have a small dick (YES! people tend to say “Arabs” have big dicks but people clearly doesn’t know what a big dick is,) but they’re pretty bossy in bed thinking one should submit and only please them while not doing anything to please you. So, I was like… HELL NO! I’m Latino and I also come from a chauvinistic macho culture, but sex is my religion! In other words, you’re not my master but my bitch!  

And Ricardo agrees (we are cool again) on my expertise:

Anyway, everyone is freaking out about this one-sided head-giving relationship…

Listen to me kids, as any healthy relationship, great sex is also a job of two and foreplay is a big part of all the fun.

I don’t understand men who doesn’t eat a girl’s cookie or a guy’s love tunnel.

Eating it before pounding it gives not only stimulation but great pleasure, and to me a guy who doesn’t perform oral is a NO! I love me some real man, not a boring excuse of a male.

Oh Khaled, nothing like announcing to the world that your wife is sexually unsatisfied.

Long story short, that fat lazy bitchboy is a flop failing no pussy eating cunt! 

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When is the media going to stop giving assholes so much attention?

And here we go AGAIN.

If you missed the latest extra-large fart bubble of sad insanity that came out of Kanye West’s mouth during his visit to TMZ, then might I suggest you keep on missing it and watch a much less gross and much more satisfying video by clicking here. But if you insist….

To get attention for his new albums and his self-published “philosophy” book on Twitter, Kanye has declared his love for his brother Donald Trump, told us that he loves the brain of Black Lives Matter hater Candace Owens, and did a 2-hour interview.  But he really went for it when he dropped into the offices of TMZ

Kanye said that since slavery lasted for 400 years, the slaves must’ve made the choice to remain slaves. Strangely enough, Kanye didn’t also say that Jewish people willingly went to concentration camps because they wanted a free vacation? He’s probably saving that for his next visit.

“When you hear about slavery for 400 years, for 400 years?! That sounds like a choice. Like, you was there for 400 years and it’s all y’all? It’s like we’re mentally in prison. I like the word prison because slavery goes too direct to the idea of blacks. So prison is something that unites us as one race. Blacks and whites being one race. We’re the human race.”

Later in the newsroom, Kanye asked everyone if they think he’s thinking freely, and that’s when TMZ’s Van Lathan became a hero by trying to get through to him by feeding him a potent dose of WAKE THE FUCK UP:

The train wreck of 2018 didn’t end there.

Kanye already admitted that he had an opioid addiction during his breakdown of 2016, and he told everyone that he got addicted after getting lipo. He said that he got the Kartrashian special, because he didn’t want them to call him fat….

So according to the logic of Kanye, slavery is a choice, but lipo is something he was forced to do? GOT IT!! This guy is obviously not well.

Stop asking him questions about shit he clearly knows nothing whatsoever about because an opinion about something based on ignorance is worse than having no opinion at all.

You know, I only have room for one delusional artist in my life, and she actually has talent:

Jokes aside, the American trash culture scares me! 

The importance they give to these kind of uneducated egotistical lunatics is alarming… That’s exactly how they ended up with their current President!

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Meanwhile In America…

Here I am catching up with my blog, you can tell is my day off!!

And by the latest news coming from America, you can tell the political scene doesn’t have a day off on scandals and wtf’s. It gets more unstable by the day… 

CNBC reports:

House Speaker Paul Ryan has privately told confidants he does not plan to run for re-election this year, multiple reports said Wednesday. The Wisconsin Republican could announce his decision “soon,” according to the news outlet.

The GOP faces a tough fight to hold on to a House majority in November amid Democratic enthusiasm and opposition to some policies pushed by President Donald Trump and the Republican-controlled Congress.

So… He’s retiring. 

For what I’m reading on the web, Americans are actually very happy about it.

Good for you Americans! Although he is not going straight to jail, as the catholic he is, I hope he’s aware that he’s going straight TO HELL.

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Not All Canvas look like Art

Future Hillsong cult suicide casualty Justin Bieber was able to convey the essence of a serial killer’s ransom note made of cut out magazine letters in a new Facebook post about his tattoos.

In case you haven’t been keeping up, he has a lot of them, and if you like Big Brother, Teen Mom, or white trash airbrushed Pigeon Forge t-shirts, you’re going to be wowed by Bieber’s ink.

It’s patriotic and religions and all around just lets the world know that Bieber’s mental state is deteriorating and that he’s careening towards death.

This week Bieber took to Facebook to defend destroying his body with:

“If tattooed didn’t hurt everyone would have them. Well maybe not very one!!Over a hundred hours of hart work on my body and I wouldn’t take back a single one.. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE ART AND IVE MAde my body a canvas and it’s SO MUCH FUN”

Over hundred hours of HART?? And I thought my English spelling was terrible…

Remember those rumors that he and Selena Gomez were fucked up on meth twenty-four-seven? Well now we know those aren’t true. This Bieber statement is reading more like the product of meth AND cocaine!! But to say something nice, he actually creates better songs than many of his contemporaries.

On personal note, I’m glad I never did anything too extreme like those tattoos while been a top ’cause I don’t think  straight guys would have wanted to fuck me looking like a douchebag.

“Jokes” aside, is it really patriotic when a Canadian gets a tattoo of an eagle?

Errr, nevermind, we don’t want him back!!

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Trump: April Is Sexual Assault Awareness Month

The New York Daily News reports:

President Trump is getting a jump start on April Fools’ Day. Without a hint of irony, Trump announced Friday that next month will be dedicated to “sexual assault awareness and prevention.”

Trump, who has been accused of sexual misconduct by nearly two dozen women, said in a presidential proclamation that sex crimes remain “tragically common in our society”  and “offenders too often evade accountability.”

Okay… At this point, he’s just trolling EVERYONE!

But in all seriousness, we’re already aware that HE IS a sexual predator.

April should be Total Lack Of Self-Awareness month, instead.

Anyhow, in honour of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, this is for the women who live around the White House…

Be careful out there! 

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Speaking of Gag Reflex…

After we were all hit in the face with a ball of random in the form of the rumor that Donald Trump Jr. fucked Aubrey O’Day while his wife was pregnant with their third child, the investigative journalists at The Daily Mail went to work to look for proof of their affair… They may have found some.

Don Jr. and Aubrey supposedly started doing each other at the end of 2011 and broke up around March 2012.

The Daily Mail went through Aubrey’s twatter feed and found a tweet from March 2012 where her “babe” is protecting her feet from “bunion attacks.” Aubrey really typed the words “True Love Feet.”

Besides Don Jr., this is the worst thing that Aubrey O’Day has ever done, and that’s saying a lot since she also did the Trump-ified remix of Somebody That I Used To Know.

Feet love + Aubrey O’Day + Donald Trump Jr. = Your gag reflex doesn’t stand a chance.

His foot or his face? I really can’t tell the difference!!!

Let’s just say that Aubrey O’Day isn’t loving all of the attention… It would explain why she now looks like a tube of Bronzer after being pressed in a Kardashian mold.

Aubrey knew the world was going to find out that she probably boned Donald Trump Jr. and didn’t want anyone to recognise her.

She went from Tanya (looking like regular old white trash) to Tatiana (looking like an Eastern European escort). It sucks to see Aubrey going extra low, Damaged was my jam.

Anyway those Americans are the trashy gift that keeps on giving, and I am l-i-v-i-n-g, and I mean LIVING for this mess!!!

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A Trump (Not The One You Think) Is Reportedly Headed For Divorce

The walls of the White House should brace themselves for the shrieking sound of a Slovenian-accented voice screaming, “Take me with you!!!!!!” Because if this story is true, Vanessa Trump’s ankles will be grasped by the hands of Melania Trump as Melania begs Vanessa to take her with her as Donald Trump Jr.’s wife walks away from the Trump family FOREVER. 

Page Six says that Don Jr. and Vanessa’s 12 year marriage is about as broken and busted as Trump’s cabinet.

A source claims that Vanessa isn’t happy, because she’d like to live her opulent housewife life in private and doesn’t like the attention that being the daughter-in-law of Trump brings (like opening up possible death powder sent to her house).

Vanessa is also upset about Don Jr. being gone all the time and think he’s changed. Not having to talk or look at Don Jr. seems like a blessing and a gift to me, but Vanessa is weird, because apparently it bothers her.

Also, I was surprised to find out that these two bitches are ONLY 40. Jesus! They look a lot older than I! They actually look like escapees from Madame Tussaud’s… In fact, Madame Tussauds called and she wants her wax and makeup palette back!

Those Trump boys are so unfortunate looking, it physically hurts.

Anyway Vanessa should follow Ivanka Trump’s advice and not get mad, get everything!

Well, except for the dead cheetah rug, moose antler table, lion head lampshade, endangered rhino skin bedspread, etc… Yeah that asshole… Killing animals more magnificent and intelligent than he could never even aspire to be.

Long story short, that whole family can burn!

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