Tag Archives: Fail

Thor: Ragnarok … WORST MOVIE EVER!

I have no idea why the latest Thor has such good reviews, I saw it today and it was ABSOLUTE CRAP!!

I was disappointed beyond believe, I expected something cool and darker since Hela was the star. But no, it was a ridiculous childish comedy for kids.

I get the fact mortals love when all these fictional characters resemble to real people, but it was a joke!!

I hated they made aliens sound like rappers, and the Grandmaster version of The Hunger Games flamboyant gay also got on my nerves.

The dialogue was absurd and some performances ridiculous.

I wanted to see Thor the hero, not a big muscular dude trying to act cute on a Guardians of the Galaxy journey. 

Basically, the story had nothing to do with the comics!

Hela IS NOT Thor’s sister, but Loki’s daughter. Also the Hulk gladiator and warrior aliens from Planet Hulk is another story on its own. The multiple mixed stories and idiotic attempt to make it funny made this movie a farce!

If ever, the only relatively good thing was seen GODDESS Cate Blanchett looking supreme as Hela… Even if they made her look also less terrifying from parts.

Otherwise I was bored, I was pissed, and I WANTED MY MONEY BACK!!!

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Laika, the first Doggonaut Gone 60 Years Ago

On November 3 1957, a street dog named Laika became the first Earthling to orbit our planet. 

The Soviet Union had launched many good dogs into outer space before, but Laika became a “global sensation” because she was the first to enter low Earth orbit. 

As The New Yorker wrote iits remembrance of the hero, the Soviet Union space program chose Laika because the mutt fit all the Soviet’s doggonaut requirements at the time, she was scrappy enough to survive the rough streets of Moscow but colourful enough that she photographed well.

The program also chose females because they were thought to be less temperamental than male dogs, and because it was more difficult to design suits that accommodated male canine genitalia.

Laika was bound into a crude spacesuit and loaded into Sputnik 2 a month after the spacecraft’s predecessor became the first satellite launched into low Earth orbit. Ever a lover of dog puns, the United States press gave her the nickname Muttnick.

Many American animal lovers were horrified by the fate that awaited Laika. A few years later, President Dwight D. Eisenhower wrote of Laika in his memoir:“By a strange and compassionate turn, public opinion seemed to resent the sending of a dog to certain death—resentment that the Soviet propagandists tried to assuage, after it’s death, by announcing that it had been comfortable to the end.”

It seems unlikely that the dog was comfortable in her final moments.
At the time the Soviet Government assured the concerned public that Laika was euthanized before death. But in 2002, one of Sputnik 2’s scientists revealed that Laika died from overheating a few hours into the journey.

Laika’s trainer, Adilya Kotovskaya, a Russian biologist, recently told Agence France-Presse of her remorse as she prepared to send Laika into space: “I asked her to forgive us and I even cried as I stroked her for the last time.”

I hope that Laika enjoyed her brief moment soaring through the heavens before she perished. After the casket made 2,570 orbits, she fell to the earth, a blaze of light above the Caribbean… Too good to return to this cruel world. 

But Laika was NEVER FORGOTTEN and she remains present today:

A little curly dog embraced by endless space
An echo of her life floating like a dream
Forever lost in the Sputnik Space Machine

On behalf of Laika and all the innocent experimental animals, I only have 3 words to say:

FUCK YOU HUMANS!!!

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Rape Charges For Nelly

TMZ says that Nelly has been hit with a real dilemma (I promise that will be the only stupid Nelly pun in this post), and things are getting hot in here for him (I lied). Even one of Nelly’s old cheek Band-Aids can’t fix this mess. 

Nelly was put into handcuffs in Auburn, Washington early this morning after a woman claimed she was raped by him on his tour bus.3

The rape allegedly happened after Nelly performed.

Nelly is currently on tour. The Auburn PD tellThe Blast that the woman called 911 at 3;48 this morning, claiming she was sexually assaulted by Nelly on his tour bus, which was parked outside of a Walmart.

The most shocking thing (besides people going to a Nelly show in 2017) is that the police didn’t waste any time. They arrested his ass this morning at around 4:37 and booked him on second degree rape charges.

He was released a few hours later. Not surprisingly, Nelly’s rep tells People that the real victim here is him, because the allegations are nothing but LIES.

And 2017 has been a bad year for the hip-hop and R&B world…

Usher has been accused of giving herpes to everyone. R. Kelly has been accused of doing heinous R.Kelly-like shit. And now Nelly.

Male midlife crisis? Whatever the fuck happened to these dudes.

But jokes aside, I’m glad things are changing in the way victims can feel they can come forward, because they’ve seen things being done about other similar cases.

And whatever the truth is, I hope justice is served.

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Eu Vou Matar Um Rato? Not Really!

There’s a rat in your bathroom. What do you do? This guy from Brazil takes what appears to be a reasonable approach, arming himself with a broom to flush out the rat, and his cat to finish the job.

Cats are supposed to useful for catching rodents right?

The scene begins as expected, with our master rat catcher whispering confidently eu vou matar um rato (I’m going to kill a rat,) while his faithful sidekick meows menacingly in the background. Then they get to work, cockily and noisily poking around behind the sink in an attempt to intimidate the rat from its hiding place… BUT, this rat will not be intimidated…

 
No doubting who came out on top in this battle!

Rat 1 – Dude & Cat 0.

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Meanwhile In America…

It’s not only tragic what happened in Charlottesville (where thousands of neo-Nazis, Ku Klux Klan members, and other pieces of human trash gathered brandishing guns, torches, and Confederate flags) but what’s happening in that country, the absolute decadence of the United States is FUKIN DISGUSTING! 

It is funny to see how many Trump supporters are desperately trying to distance the #MAGA movement from any hint of racism, White Supremacy, and bigotry in light of the Charlotte shit show.

But they can’t erase the fact that Trump started his political career promoting the repellent idea that Obama wasn’t an actual American but probably Muslim. Or that he announced his run for the presidency by declaring that the Mexican immigrants are criminals and rapists and they may even be from the Middle East, or the Muslim ban, or whatever else that IGNORANT FOOL has done and said.

In short, Trump is responsible for emboldening the racist vile pukes we saw in Charlotte. He made a place for them in the body politic. He gave a platform for them and each time he refuse to condemn them.

Each day he’s making America more disgusting and NOT so great!

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Canada Denounces & Condemns Maduro

As a South American is very painful for me to see the kidnapping of Venezuela by a bunch of vagabonds and criminals that is the embarrassment of President Dictator Maduro and his people.

The country is heading to a Civil War.

Sad, sad, very sad!

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Pimples! FML!!!

Since I have to be totally flawless for my trip to South America, I’ve been taking extra care of my body and skin. My diet is pretty balanced but mostly healthy. However, last week I added some nuts and more fruit to it thinking how amazing my choices are… Well, FAIL! Big time FAIL!!!

If you’re like me, you’ve probably heard all about how great nuts are for you and your diet.

They’re considered “brain food” or “healthy snacks” that are tasty, healthy, and overall SAFE food. But the idea that you can eat as much as you want and not have any problems is wrong!

Yesterday I woke up feeling some pain in my face… When I checked myself in the mirror I was like WTF? How on earth I have PIMPLES?!!!!

Yeah I found 4 small pimples (gladly not visible but painful) and suicidal thoughts crossed my mind, breaking my head thinking what I ate that was not healthy.

I don’t eat junk whatsoever, so I was like HOW COME I have this shit on my face?! Then the “brain food” helped me to remember that the only unusual thing I ingested this week was walnuts and almonds… Ugh madafuckers!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, nuts can cause ACNE! *cries*

So, I obviously stopped eating them as soon as I found out.

Anyhow I have few more weeks to purify my face, it’s been too long I haven’t seen my relatives in South America that the last thing I want is to scare them with my repulsive face. At least I want to show a flawless skin.

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