Tag Archives: Fail

Theatrics

Hurricane Florence has taken several lives and left almost a million people without power. It’s tragic and dramatic on its own, but while reporting from Wilmington, North Carolina during the hurricane, Weather Channel reporter Mike Seidel decided to bring more drama…

He appeared to be bravely reporting while being buffeted by torrential rain and winds gusting at a hundred-something MPH that wanted to blow him away to the afterworld.

However, it looks like Mike is somewhat of a meteorological drama queen.

While Mike was acting like he was Helen Hunt in Twister, two dudes calmly walked by behind him, seemingly untroubled by the inclement weather.

It sort of diluted the moment.

A helpful PHD on Twitter also took the time to explain to us laypeople that, if you’re really gunning for a crown, you want to remember which way the wind is blowing.

Anyhow, my prayers are with those who are suffering this hurricane. Please stay safe.

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Trailer Of A Mess

When the serial rebooters known as Netflix shared the first pictures from the She-Ra reboot, I got up out of my chair, walked to the nearest wall, and did an open-mouthed cry wall slide over those evil butcherers transforming the 80s goddess of mythological glamour into a tragic mess.

But after I pulled myself up off the floor and whispered, “You’re my only She-Ra,” into my She-Ra doll’s head, I told myself that the She-Ra reboot isn’t for me, but for the children of today, and now the children of today got their first look at their Baby She-Ra in action.

The teaser trailer shows Sailor Moon’s white second cousin (aka the new Adora a.k.a. She-Ra) getting lured into the forest by a stranger’s voice…

Somebody should really tell Adora that if a strange voice tries to lure you into the forest, run the opposite way and call the cops!!

To me, it still looks like anime as drawn by the worst student in a high school animation class. With that being said, I am not watching Fetus-Ra, because I am not a damn kid. But mostly, because Netflix is not making any justice the iconic cartoon.

She-Ra is supposed to be woman, not a girl. And should be looking like this:

One word: MEH!

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SHAMEFUL

Naomi Osaka became the first Japanese tennis player to win a grand slam. It happened in the strangest of ways.

In the finals at the US Open, the 20-year-old Osaka defeated 36-year-old Serena Williams mainly with a commanding display of precociousness that is most reminiscent of, well, Serena Williams.

But Naomi’s victory was overshadowed and perhaps even sealed by a series of violations called against Serena, who had a warning, a point penalty, and then a game penalty called against her, taking the score in the second set from 4-3 to 5-3 with Osaka in the lead.

Serena received the warning for getting coaching from her box, and the point penalty for breaking her racquet. After she approached the umpire demanding an apology and insisting she didn’t cheat. She called the umpire a thief who “stole” a point from her… 

The whole thing was a mess.

Although Serena has a point about the sexism (because men said lots of things as well, but don’t get penalised) she also tends to forget that she’s a champion and an inspiration to many. Instead of breaking shit, her approach to injustice should be more intelligent. 

The drama dampened the Grand Slam title win for her opponent, who idolises Serena and cried on the podium as she was awarded the cup to boos from the stands.

Naomi didn’t deserve this reaction. She won fair and square!

I love Serena, but she spoiled the final. And that crowd was an embarrassment.

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Pedo Got Hurt

It appears there are two possible ways to react if you’re a famous American politician and have recently found yourself humiliated at the hands of Sacha Baron Cohen on his Showtime series Who Is America?

If you’re Georgia Republican state Rep. Jason Spencer, you might pull up your pants and resign in an attempt to save what little shred of dignity you might have left.

If you’re Sarah Palin, you would throw an internet tantrum and claim you were duped.

Former Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Alabama (and creep) Roy Moore looked like a fool on Who Is America? in a segment involving a fake pedophile detector, and now he’s suing for $95 million.

Last year, Roy Moore became a household name when four women came forward during Roy’s bid to run for Alabama senate, and accused him of hitting on them when they were underage girls (Roy lost to the Democratic candidate).

As you can probably guess before even hitting play on this video, Erran’s pervert-wand beeped like crazy when it came near Roy Moore.

Skip to the 2:46 mark to watch Roy look extremely uncomfortable before walking out of the interview.

How stupid do you need to be to believe in a pedo-detector? The fallout of the Trump administration is showing us just how incredibly stupid some of those people in office are.

Dupe them via their own hubris and stupidity and suddenly THEIR hurt feelings are important enough to warrant everything. 

I’m not a fan of Sacha Baron Cohen, but he’s crazy enough to fool those fools.

That said, good luck with that you disgusting piece of shit!

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Satan Refuses To Accept Any More Catholic Priests

Following the stories of sex abuse scandals in the catholic church this week…

NINTH CIRCLE HELL reports: 

Stressing that the situation in the underworld was quickly spiralling out of control, Satan, the Great Tempter and Father of Lies, announced this week that he would not allow any more Catholic priests to enter hell.

“This place is completely overrun with those monsters, and frankly, they kind of creep me out,” said the Prince of Darkness, adding that every time he looked up, he saw another recently deceased member of the Roman Catholic clergy being cast down into the fires of hell, where each is expected to be tortured until the end of time by Satan and his minions.

“We’re used to having every manner of unrepentant sinner down here, but those guys are beyond messed up. I swear, if I see one more of those sick bastards, I’m going to throw myself into the eternal flames.”

In response, God has reportedly instituted a secret policy whereby the priests would no longer face damnation but would instead attend mandatory counselling sessions and then be quietly transferred into heaven.

Well, I have some news for God… Rapist don’t get cured, neither paedophiles. 

And we’re supposed to believe that gays are the threat to all things holy? That gays are the perverts? That it’s gays who are intrinsically disordered? Saying stuff like gay couples “are not families”? This is why I CAN’T with the catholic church.

A corrupted criminal organisation that hides and protects child molesters since forever.

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Kanye Kardashian doesn’t care about black People

Earlier this month, Kanye West was on Jimmy Kimmel Live!  where he talked about a lot of shit. 

Most of what he said was the generic Kanye non-sensical garbage: stupid philosophical questions with no basis in reality, how amazing he is at design *barfs*  his admiration of Donald Trump *uncontrollably vomits* etc.

But Kanye was stumped when asked about Trump:

“You so famously and so powerfully said, ‘George Bush doesn’t care about black people’. It makes me wonder what makes you think that Donald Trump does, or any people at all?”

Kim’s bitch stared at the ceiling hoping for an answer. When one didn’t descend and enter his righteous mind, Jimmy moved on to commercial.

Well, Kanye finally had enough time to think of his answer (a whole month) and he was ready to talk about it on 107.5 WGCI in Chicago. However, if you’re looking for a sensible answer from Kanye West, you are looking in the wrong place.

Kanye Kardashian said this about Trump:

“I feel that [Trump] cares about the way black people feel about him, and he would like for black people to like him like they did when he was cool in the rap songs and all this.”

Kanye continued by suggesting that Trump will “do the things that are necessary” to support the black community because:

“…he’s got an ego like all the rest of us, and he wants to be the greatest president, and he knows that he can’t be the greatest president without the acceptance of the black community.”

Realistically he can’t be the greatest president for a few reasons, just off the top of my head: the whole Mexicans are rapists thing, the “Grab em by the pussy” thing, that whole children separation thing, calling Omarosa a dog… IDK maybe I’m missing a few…

I guess no one has explained to Kanye that nobody on this planet except for Narcissus has the same kind of ego as he or Donald Trump because they’re pretty much are twins in delusion.

In fact, has anyone done any studies on how many brain cells a human loses when reading a Kanye or Trump tweet?

I also need to know where Kanye is getting his political information because he seems to think that he has some kind of perspective or insight into these topics?

He probably just follows that Blacks For Trump guy on Twitter.

Anyway, I don’t get why people keep asking Kanye about anything?

Dude needs intensive therapy and not interviews. But I guess Americans can’t recognise mentally deranged individuals. 

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Stormy Daniels: Trump Lasted “Two Minutes” In Bed

Vogue Magazine reports:

It is just after 10:00 a.m. on a Tuesday, still early morning in the world of adult-film stars and their entourages. Daniels is barefoot, in black skinny jeans with silver zippers at the ankles and a purple V-neck T-shirt.

With no makeup Daniels, 39, looks much younger than when she appeared on 60 Minutes last March and told 22 million viewers about her dalliance with Trump, about the hush money and the threat to her daughter and the nondisclosure agreement that she says Cohen forced her to sign weeks before the 2016 presidential election.

In person, she is nothing like that stoic, on-message woman. She is blunt, foulmouthed, funny. I ask her for more details on her alleged 2006 affair with Trump. “How many details can you really give about two minutes?” she says. Two minutes? I ask. “Maybe. I’m being generous.”

You’ll surely enjoy the full interview.

On the other hand, he probably make it last a little longer with Vlad…

Bad wig and his angry inch. Does explain his rage and constantly acting like an asshole! 

I fully trust this woman.

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