Tag Archives: Flop

Stormy Daniels Just Had To Go And Ruin Mario Kart For Everyone

“Mario Kart” has been trending all day today, and at first I figured it was because there’s a new game, or it’s the anniversary of that shit, or maybe Super Mario was killed off in a tragic kart accident.

It’s a billion times worse than the last one. 

Stormy has already said that her one-time fuck of terror with Trump lasted less than two minutes, but not she got more graphic…

The Guardian published an excerpt from Stormy’s new book Full Disclosure where she says that Trump doesn’t exactly have a Triple I-Y dick (an “Is It In Yet?” dick), but that he’s not as hung as his ego and it felt like a losing game of Mario Kart was being played in her pussy when he boned her.

She describes Trump’s penis as “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small”.

“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool…

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart…

Stormy Daniels is an enemy of my teenage years for this!

Not only did she ruin Mario Kart for everyone, but the next time I’m at a Chinese restaurant and my plate of delicious pan-fried noodles arrives, I’m going to look at the fried noodles and the tiny wet mushrooms and think of Trump’s Yeti pubes and dick.

And then I’m going to have to ask for a box. No, not to take my food home, but to barf into.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Trailer Of A Mess

When the serial rebooters known as Netflix shared the first pictures from the She-Ra reboot, I got up out of my chair, walked to the nearest wall, and did an open-mouthed cry wall slide over those evil butcherers transforming the 80s goddess of mythological glamour into a tragic mess.

But after I pulled myself up off the floor and whispered, “You’re my only She-Ra,” into my She-Ra doll’s head, I told myself that the She-Ra reboot isn’t for me, but for the children of today, and now the children of today got their first look at their Baby She-Ra in action.

The teaser trailer shows Sailor Moon’s white second cousin (aka the new Adora a.k.a. She-Ra) getting lured into the forest by a stranger’s voice…

Somebody should really tell Adora that if a strange voice tries to lure you into the forest, run the opposite way and call the cops!!

To me, it still looks like anime as drawn by the worst student in a high school animation class. With that being said, I am not watching Fetus-Ra, because I am not a damn kid. But mostly, because Netflix is not making any justice the iconic cartoon.

She-Ra is supposed to be woman, not a girl. And should be looking like this:

One word: MEH!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Kanye Kardashian doesn’t care about black People

Earlier this month, Kanye West was on Jimmy Kimmel Live!  where he talked about a lot of shit. 

Most of what he said was the generic Kanye non-sensical garbage: stupid philosophical questions with no basis in reality, how amazing he is at design *barfs*  his admiration of Donald Trump *uncontrollably vomits* etc.

But Kanye was stumped when asked about Trump:

“You so famously and so powerfully said, ‘George Bush doesn’t care about black people’. It makes me wonder what makes you think that Donald Trump does, or any people at all?”

Kim’s bitch stared at the ceiling hoping for an answer. When one didn’t descend and enter his righteous mind, Jimmy moved on to commercial.

Well, Kanye finally had enough time to think of his answer (a whole month) and he was ready to talk about it on 107.5 WGCI in Chicago. However, if you’re looking for a sensible answer from Kanye West, you are looking in the wrong place.

Kanye Kardashian said this about Trump:

“I feel that [Trump] cares about the way black people feel about him, and he would like for black people to like him like they did when he was cool in the rap songs and all this.”

Kanye continued by suggesting that Trump will “do the things that are necessary” to support the black community because:

“…he’s got an ego like all the rest of us, and he wants to be the greatest president, and he knows that he can’t be the greatest president without the acceptance of the black community.”

Realistically he can’t be the greatest president for a few reasons, just off the top of my head: the whole Mexicans are rapists thing, the “Grab em by the pussy” thing, that whole children separation thing, calling Omarosa a dog… IDK maybe I’m missing a few…

I guess no one has explained to Kanye that nobody on this planet except for Narcissus has the same kind of ego as he or Donald Trump because they’re pretty much are twins in delusion.

In fact, has anyone done any studies on how many brain cells a human loses when reading a Kanye or Trump tweet?

I also need to know where Kanye is getting his political information because he seems to think that he has some kind of perspective or insight into these topics?

He probably just follows that Blacks For Trump guy on Twitter.

Anyway, I don’t get why people keep asking Kanye about anything?

Dude needs intensive therapy and not interviews. But I guess Americans can’t recognise mentally deranged individuals. 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Extinction

Ugh, what did I just watch…

Although I don’t like Pena, Extinction seemed promising due to all the buzz Netflix made for this awfulness.

One word: FLOP!!!

The characters are one-dimensional and boring. The movie itself is paced poorly, and is mostly about running, hiding, dodging bullets, and beating on “aliens” while your kids scream a lot.

While someone had a neat idea for the premise, no one could write an interesting single scene. It is frustrating to see that such a good idea for a movie is ruined by bad scripting, characterisation and acting. 

The movie was meh but Pena was sooooo bad! Dude is boring, has zero emotions and he’s definitely not a protagonist.

In short I didn’t finish it. Bad, bad, VERY bad! 

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Truth isn’t truth…

Sorry for the lack of updates, I’ve been a bit busy… Anyhow, let’s catch up.

So last Sunday Rudy Giuliani, speaking as a lawyer clown for Donald Trump, told “Truth isn’t truth,”to Chuck Todd on NBC’s “Meet the Press.”

Bitch said: 

“When you tell me that, you know, he should testify because he’s going to tell the truth and he shouldn’t worry, well that’s so silly because it’s somebody’s version of the truth. Not the truth,” Giuliani told Todd. “Truth is truth,” Todd responded. “No, it isn’t truth,” Giuliani said. “Truth isn’t truth.”

So this clown is intentionally trying to create some new world of relative factuality?

Wednesday isn’t Wednesday. The sky is not blue. Water isn’t wet. 

“Truth isn’t truth” fits nicely in the same solar system as alternative facts.

As truth is not truth. Horizontal stripes ARE slimming.

You know, I’ve been watching episodes of Tiny Toon Adventures just to find some sanity.

This shit is insane, the Trump administration job is to confuse the fragile minds.

Can they just go away?

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Inside The Dark, Violent, Misogynistic World Of Incels

The Huffington Post has published a fascinating/horrifying deep dive into the violent, misogynistic world of so-called Incels, men who say they are “involuntarily celibate” because women won’t have sex with them due to their looks…

Here’s the opening:

It’s late on a Friday, and hundreds of men are browsing the forum Lookism.net. A new member logs on and posts two photos showing the lower half of his face. “What surgeries/implants are needed to fix this?” he asks. “As you can see I have a recessed jaw/chin.”

The replies come swiftly: “It’s not just your chin. Your upper lip is retruded as well. Orthognathic surgery if you can afford it. Chin implant or [genioplasty] if you can’t. You should also look at jaw angle implants,” someone responds. “Start saving.”

It’s a typical exchange on the message board, where new posts continue to pop up throughout the night with men asking other men for physical evaluation and advice.

You’ll want to read the full piece, which includes a list of recent terror attacks committed by self-proclaimed incels. According to the article, incels are hoping that this week’s attack in Toronto was committed by one of their own.

Now…

Let me tell you something… It’s NOT THE WAY YOU LOOK the problem!!

ASSHOLES DON’T GE LAID, unless you’re a rich asshole.

In contrast, acting like a human being it’s always appealing.

Ignorance+ Assholism = INCEL

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Russian State TV: Trump Smells Like A Kremlin Agent

Every single news coming from our American neighbours are about mass shootings, racial issues and Trump’s lies/rudeness/assorted WTF’s.

It’s been ages since I posted anything positive about the United Sates. The last time I praised anything from there was my American fuckfriend’s penis. But other than that nothing much.

Since Trump is (still) in power (for reasons I don’t understand) that country is going South.

During Bush the image of The United States was really bad, but with Trump is ten times worse! To the point that relations between America and Canada (Canada = the most chill country ever) is on a tightrope.

I tried to avoid blogging about the Orange menace, but sometimes is not possible…

Julia Davis writes for the Washington Post:

Russian state media are hard at work, praising Putin’s strategy that is finally paying off. That is not surprising, as the state media in Russia are fully controlled by the government. Positions conveyed by the Kremlin’s bullhorns reflect only what is considered permissible by the state. On Russian state television, criticism of Putin is unheard of, and mildly dissenting views are allowed mostly so they can be mocked. Government-controlled propaganda, combined with fear of retribution, secure consistently high approval ratings for the seemingly irreplaceable Russian leader. Putin is always portrayed as a masterful chess player whose every move is pure genius.

What’s that old saying? “If it quacks like a Kremlin agent and smells like a Kremlin agent . . . “

Anyhow, below some brutal Memes trolling President Shitler after his ‘disgraceful performance’ when meeting the real boss…


Although the internet makes everything better, the reality is sad and very dangerous.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,