Tag Archives: Flop

Saudi Arabia: Where drones have more rights than women

Every once in a while something so ridiculous happens that people from all walks of life can set aside their differences and join in mocking the offending dumbass or dumbasses.

It’s like the I’d Like To Buy The World A Coke commercial, except less scary and cult-y.

The viral video currently uniting us all in bitchery comes from a Saudi Arabian fashion show that used drones instead of models to display the clothing.

The drones drag around the fluttering dresses draped out over plastic hangers with all the grace of a plastic bag on a tornado, and in some cases of a Dementor. 

I truly don’t get that people… If they don’t allow the women to wear them, what’s the point of advertising this kind of clothing there?

I guess it’s clear that in Saudi Arabia drones have more rights than women.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Shit-Shirt

Balenciaga once again proved that “Balenciaga” is Spanish for “trolling stupid label fuckers by selling ugly overpriced shit to them.”  They already pranked the world with a $2,145 hideous knock-off of the luxurious IKEA bag, and made HELL a bigger place on earth by creating CROCS on steroids.

And now, everyone at Balenciaga is cackling into the air as messes with too much money pre-order the $1,290 double shirt that looks like a 99 cent Salvation Army button-up sloppily stapled to a $3.99 clearance section t-shirt from Kmart.

You know… I applaud those who fleece these fools of their money.

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Men Who doesn’t Do Oral = Boring Sex

There are many new acts out there, many entertainers that are beyond basic, but that society praise them because the standards are fucking low!

There’s one Latino rapper called Bad Bunny who’s apparently coming to Montreal to put on his computer vocal effect and charge big money for it, because he knows basics will make him rich.

That’s actually the case of another “artist” I just heard about thanks to his misogynist ridiculous statement…

DJ Khaled is some talented scam with access to an iPod Shuffle and therefor a DJ, and is making waves on the Internet for stating in an interview that he likes to receive head but does not like to give it:

“I believe the woman should praise the man, the king … It’s different rules for men… I’m the King. I’m the King of the house… There’s some things that y’all don’t want to do but got to get done. I just can’t do what you want me to do. I just can’t.”

Not to be racist but… Muslim much?

And before you get on my ass, I know my shit! All the gay-closet Muslims I met think that sexiest way. That’s why it never worked between them and I.

Not only they have a small dick (YES! people tend to say “Arabs” have big dicks but people clearly doesn’t know what a big dick is,) but they’re pretty bossy in bed thinking one should submit and only please them while not doing anything to please you. So, I was like… HELL NO! I’m Latino and I also come from a chauvinistic macho culture, but sex is my religion! In other words, you’re not my master but my bitch!  

And Ricardo agrees (we are cool again) on my expertise:

Anyway, everyone is freaking out about this one-sided head-giving relationship…

Listen to me kids, as any healthy relationship, great sex is also a job of two and foreplay is a big part of all the fun.

I don’t understand men who doesn’t eat a girl’s cookie or a guy’s love tunnel.

Eating it before pounding it gives not only stimulation but great pleasure, and to me a guy who doesn’t perform oral is a NO! I love me some real man, not a boring excuse of a male.

Oh Khaled, nothing like announcing to the world that your wife is sexually unsatisfied.

Long story short, that fat lazy bitchboy is a flop failing no pussy eating cunt! 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

This list influence my bowel movement

I’m not exactly sure what Tiffany Haddish has done other than presenting at the FlOpscars few months ago, but she is definitely not Isabelle Adjani or Fan Bingbing influential type.

However, she’s snagged a spot on Time’s 100 “Most Influential People’s” list, along with Cardi B (who?) Nicole Kidman, Christian Siriano, Lena Waithe, JLo (whatever!) Prince Harry, Meghan Markle (what has she done of note besides marry a prince?) Rihanna, and Janet Mock.

Am I the only one saying “Who?” and “Dear God!” to most of this list?

Truly, this list is a sad reflection of both Time mag and society overall if most of these people are what’s considered “influential” nowadays.

Why didn’t they give the cover to the Parkland students? 

 I’d rather watch paint dry than read this ridiculous magazine.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Meanwhile In America…

Here I am catching up with my blog, you can tell is my day off!!

And by the latest news coming from America, you can tell the political scene doesn’t have a day off on scandals and wtf’s. It gets more unstable by the day… 

CNBC reports:

House Speaker Paul Ryan has privately told confidants he does not plan to run for re-election this year, multiple reports said Wednesday. The Wisconsin Republican could announce his decision “soon,” according to the news outlet.

The GOP faces a tough fight to hold on to a House majority in November amid Democratic enthusiasm and opposition to some policies pushed by President Donald Trump and the Republican-controlled Congress.

So… He’s retiring. 

For what I’m reading on the web, Americans are actually very happy about it.

Good for you Americans! Although he is not going straight to jail, as the catholic he is, I hope he’s aware that he’s going straight TO HELL.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Speaking of Gag Reflex…

After we were all hit in the face with a ball of random in the form of the rumor that Donald Trump Jr. fucked Aubrey O’Day while his wife was pregnant with their third child, the investigative journalists at The Daily Mail went to work to look for proof of their affair… They may have found some.

Don Jr. and Aubrey supposedly started doing each other at the end of 2011 and broke up around March 2012.

The Daily Mail went through Aubrey’s twatter feed and found a tweet from March 2012 where her “babe” is protecting her feet from “bunion attacks.” Aubrey really typed the words “True Love Feet.”

Besides Don Jr., this is the worst thing that Aubrey O’Day has ever done, and that’s saying a lot since she also did the Trump-ified remix of Somebody That I Used To Know.

Feet love + Aubrey O’Day + Donald Trump Jr. = Your gag reflex doesn’t stand a chance.

His foot or his face? I really can’t tell the difference!!!

Let’s just say that Aubrey O’Day isn’t loving all of the attention… It would explain why she now looks like a tube of Bronzer after being pressed in a Kardashian mold.

Aubrey knew the world was going to find out that she probably boned Donald Trump Jr. and didn’t want anyone to recognise her.

She went from Tanya (looking like regular old white trash) to Tatiana (looking like an Eastern European escort). It sucks to see Aubrey going extra low, Damaged was my jam.

Anyway those Americans are the trashy gift that keeps on giving, and I am l-i-v-i-n-g, and I mean LIVING for this mess!!!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Trump (Not The One You Think) Is Reportedly Headed For Divorce

The walls of the White House should brace themselves for the shrieking sound of a Slovenian-accented voice screaming, “Take me with you!!!!!!” Because if this story is true, Vanessa Trump’s ankles will be grasped by the hands of Melania Trump as Melania begs Vanessa to take her with her as Donald Trump Jr.’s wife walks away from the Trump family FOREVER. 

Page Six says that Don Jr. and Vanessa’s 12 year marriage is about as broken and busted as Trump’s cabinet.

A source claims that Vanessa isn’t happy, because she’d like to live her opulent housewife life in private and doesn’t like the attention that being the daughter-in-law of Trump brings (like opening up possible death powder sent to her house).

Vanessa is also upset about Don Jr. being gone all the time and think he’s changed. Not having to talk or look at Don Jr. seems like a blessing and a gift to me, but Vanessa is weird, because apparently it bothers her.

Also, I was surprised to find out that these two bitches are ONLY 40. Jesus! They look a lot older than I! They actually look like escapees from Madame Tussaud’s… In fact, Madame Tussauds called and she wants her wax and makeup palette back!

Those Trump boys are so unfortunate looking, it physically hurts.

Anyway Vanessa should follow Ivanka Trump’s advice and not get mad, get everything!

Well, except for the dead cheetah rug, moose antler table, lion head lampshade, endangered rhino skin bedspread, etc… Yeah that asshole… Killing animals more magnificent and intelligent than he could never even aspire to be.

Long story short, that whole family can burn!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,