Tag Archives: Hot Mess

The Only Music Critic That Matters

If Rolling Stone, Billboard, and Pitchfork really cared about the integrity and quality of their music reviews, they’d get into a massive bidding war to hire this Chihuahua with flawless taste as their new chief music critic.

There’s not much info about the clip below, except for the fact that this  Chihuahua has an impeccable ear and gives the only review of Fergie’s National Anthem performance that is needed.

@TheJose8A, who posted the clip on Twitter, says that thedogs isn’t his…

Well, whoever is the human of this pooch should be proud that they’re caring for one of the greatest critical minds of our time!

This pooch obviously spends all of their time studying musical technique and performance, and doesn’t have time for silly shit like brushing their teeth, going to the dentist or flossing.

When Fergie hits that high note, she sounds like a cat getting ass fucked with a taser, so you would think that the Chihuahua would give a thumbs up to a torturous cat sound. But this pooch is able to ignore their feelings about cats to give an unbiased review.

A total pro!

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Registered Sex Offender For Trump.Dating

Are you lonely? Are you tired of what Tinder has to offer? Have you noticed that every time you swipe right on the hottest single women in your area they always lean left when it comes to politics?

It’s time to make American dating great again with Trump.dating because compatibility starts with who you voted for this past presidential election.

On the site’s splash page, users are greeted by the smiling face of William Barrett Riddleberger, who it turns out is a convicted sex offender, as several local news outlets reported. Riddleberger was convicted in 1995 for filming himself having sex with a 15-year-old girl while he was in his mid-2os. His conviction is listed on public records.

I understand that no business is perfect but when you’re openly supporting someone as the face of your brand a small background check should be standard.

It would have been nice to see a safe space on the internet where you could grab women by the pussy outside of adultfriendfinder.com but this blunder is one for the books.

Anyway, I’m not surprise Trump has also a dating site, but just like the rest involving him I’m just going to go ahead and assume that all the profiles on this site are a lie, too.

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Speaking Of Escobar…

I found the trailer below on Youtube…

Apparently a movie based on the Colombian (NOT Columbian as many make that atrocious mistake) drug lord and his journalist mistress based on Virginia Vallejo’s bestselling memoir Loving Pablo, Hating Escobar. 

I haven’t watch the movie but, WTF this is?

Noting less interesting/foolish/absurd/credible/idiotic/insulting than two SPANIARDS playing COLOMBIANS speaking ENGLISH! 

Javier Bardem is one of the best actors out there, and Penelope… is only good in Spanish ’cause her accents are BAD. What a TOTAL joke!! 

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Another Shooting In America…

Here we go again….

Just 7 weeks into 2018 and there has been another school shooting in America, making it 18th since the start of the year.

Nikolas Cruz is the latest sick bastard on the list of fuck ups.

The kid is a member of a White Supremacist militia.

Described as a loner by a former classmate, the 19-year-old returned to Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School with an AR15 rifle and gunned down at least 17 people in a massacre that ranks as one of the deadliest mass shooting.

I don’t really know what to say anymore…

It’s sad and terrifying how our neighbour country can be so violent, but even more sad and terrifying the fact civilians can still so easily purchase a machine gun. It’s been ages now that the United States stopped being a land of hope to become a land of fear.

Meanwhile, the orange creature issued some statements on Twitter, labelling noting there were many signs that Cruz was mentally disturbed… genius! Also, he posted this:

And got few replies, one of them was this 16 year-old student…

At this point, as a nation, America has told the world the safety of their children is less important than the rights of gun owners.

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Why is this imbecile a thing?

We’ve gotten to the point now where the name Logan Paul has become more synonymous with a piece of shit than toilet paper. So it should be no great shock that he’s in trouble again for his insufferable antics.

On Monday, 22-year-turd Logan uploaded a video of himself and two friends finding two dead rats on his patio.

Logan declared: “No rat comes into my house without getting tased!” before whipping a taser from the waistband of his pants and zapping them.

He tases them again as their bodies go into the trash…

I’m not a credentialed psychiatrist, so it’s just my humble opinion that the respect a person shows for life includes how he treats the dead.

Logan Paul has 16.6 million subscribers… WTF society???? 

Dude is the reason why swallowing should be taught as an ACCEPTABLE alternative for pregnancy prevention. This one really should have been a period…

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Speaking Of Villains….

We already know that the President of the United States is an incredibly healthy stable genius who respects women and would never cheat on his wife.

And you can’t go claiming these facts are “fake news” because we learned them direct from the horse’s ass (or “rear facing mouth” if you want to be technical about it). 

Donald Trump is a beacon of good health and septuagenarian vigour, that’s why it’s so surprising to see this great man brought low by something so seemingly benign as a stiff breeze. But that’s just what happened to the leader of the free world (sorry world).

Trump takes great pride in his hair and has repeatedly insisted that he does not wear a wig… Here’s the day America lost its innocence:

Even his hair is trying to quit this bitch.

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“Miracle” Drug Saves Pat Robertson After Stroke

So… Pat Robertson almost died… 

When I was a kid, before one of my favourite TV shows, there was a dubbed short segment of The 700 Club with Pat Robertson preaching stuff… I have no idea if back in the 80s the translation was accurate or if he was less insane, but I was just a innocent child listening whatever white dude was saying.

Now as an adult I can tell Robertson (and the assorted Robertson) are nothing but cancer to society. 

He isn’t dead, so this isn’t news. But let’s take a look.

From Pat Robertson’s CBN News:

Dr. M.G. “Pat” Robertson is recovering after sustaining an embolic stroke around 12 noon Friday. A family member recognized the onset of symptoms and Dr. Robertson was rushed to the nearest stroke center.

The stroke center consulted with a neurologist/stroke specialist who quickly ordered an MRI to determine the cause of the stroke and the location of the clot. The consulting neurologist and the hospital team administered the clot-busting drug tPA approximately 80 minutes after the onset of symptoms.

Within minutes of receiving tPA, Dr. Robertson was awake and responsive and able to move all of his limbs. The neurologist declared the rapid recovery to be a “tPA miracle.”

From the Friendly Atheist:

Modern medicine working isn’t a miracle. Robertson should be grateful that he could rely on skilled doctors instead of thoughts and prayers. (In 2015, he awkwardly rationalized his way through a viewer’s question about why Christians should visit doctors if they were supposed to have faith.)

Obviously, the jokes write themselves. I’m not playing that game. But keep in mind that, a few months ago, Robertson blamed the mass shooting in Las Vegas on a lack of respect for Donald Trump and God.

Makes you wonder what the hell Robertson did that God is punishing him with a stroke. Give it until next week, I’m sure he’ll just blame the stroke on gay people.

Now, and just for fun, below a couple of news accounts from one of the times Pat Robertson celebrated “God’s stroke-wrath.”

Couldn’t they have just prayed the stroke away? God will surely punish them for using a hospital and having such little faith.

Oh science! Worst miracle EVER!! 

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