Archives for posts with tag: Hot Mess

Randy Rainbow is back with a take on Trump’s emergency declaration via Madge’s 1984 breakout hit, Borderline.

When their nightmare is over, Randy needs to turn all of these into an entire Broadway show. BRAVA!

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The Hill reports:

Ann Coulter fired back at President Trump on Friday, stating that “the only national emergency is that our president is an idiot” in a radio interview on Friday afternoon. Coulter was responding to Trump’s comment earlier on Friday calling out the conservative firebrand as being “off the reservation.” He made the remark during a press conference at the White House after he declared a national emergency on the southern border.

“Thank God he’s relieved me of any responsibility for what he’s been doing,” Coulter told KABC’s Morning Drive on Friday. “That was the biggest favor anyone could do [for] me today. It was one thing, the promise he made every single day at every single speech. Forget the fact that he’s digging his own grave,” Coulter added. “The only national emergency is that our president is an idiot.”

Hitler declared a state of emergency and suspended the constitution.

And here’s another fact…

I find myself agreeing with this hag for the first time!

Just when I thought that Guy Ritchie could never do a movie worse than Swept Away, I found out he can. That film will be the live-action version of Aladdin because Will Smith’s genie looking like the beefy baby of one of those aliens from the Eiffel 65’s Blue video is just a NO!

Instead of going to see this movie, we should watch the cartoon version and remember Robin William as the Genie.

The difference between Robin Williams and Will is that Robin could do many different characters (same as Jim Carrey) and Will can only do Will.

That is why we adored the Genie so much.

Black History Month got off to a great start when we all heard the racist tale of yore of how Liam Neeson once reacted to the rape of a close friend by walking the streets hoping that some random black man would mess with him so he could kill that random black man as an act of revenge against his friend’s rapist (who she said was black).

Liam said he is not a racist now, and wasn’t racist then.

He said that he hopes him sharing that disturbing mess will open up more discussions about bigotry…

Well, If you tell a messy disturbing story about wanting to kill a random black guy out of revenge for something that had nothing to do with you (to promote a stupid fucking movie), then say, “but I’m not racist”, you’re probably a racist.

Also, for whoever doesn’t have it clear, revenge only works if you get the ACTUAL GUY. Not a random person.

Anyway the Taken saga was fun, but racism not so much.

In short, a man who is famous for being in movies where the main character is hell-bent on violent revenge, is ACTUALLY a person who is hell-bent on violent revenge.

Colour. Me. Shook.

I wonder how many people on set had to resist the urge to pluck those pills off of Hailey’s dress, because they needed something to make them forget these two are going to be on the cover of Vogue?

Not that Vogue is relevant anymore.

Now, how are these two only 24 and 22?

Well, he actually looks like a teen lesbian with a shaved head, and all I see when I look at her is Stephen Baldwin in a dress.

Anyway, with this cover we have recorded proof of the exact second Vogue’s last shred of credibility finally dried up and floated away.

I don’t know whether to laugh or be offended because this just isn’t right. But it’s reportedly happening.

During the Grammys this Sunday Jennifer Lopez will be performing a tribute to the legendary Motown. 

Motown is celebrating its 60th anniversary this year. And so far reactions have ranged from “Nope!” to “HELL NO!”

This is probably a great time to mention that JLo doesn’t even have a GramMeh. Nor has the vocals to sing Motown classics. 

Rap Up was first to report the news yesterday that JLo, out of ALL the people in the world, will be the chosen one to pump and prance across the stage while doing a sultry rendition of Sugar Pie Honey Bunch. Though it’s unclear whether or not she’ll be doing the set by herself or if she’ll have help from other artists. One thing’s for sure is that I’m ready to change the words to The Supremes’ classic “Stop In The Name Of Love” to “Stop JLo…Just, Stop.

I’m not here for any of this because it makes no damn sense.

And don’t get me wrong, la Lopez is an entertainer but NOT a singer.

Fashion, men, living lavishly, and looking pretty is her area of expertise. She should stick to that!

Now, how about getting a real Motown artist to perform and pay proper tribute to the legends?

The only thing CBS is doing is paying tribute to their need for ratings, because now everyone will definitely tune in to see this travesty.

But the real treat of the evening will be the LEGENDARY Motown OG GODDESS Diana Ross, who is also slated to perform, comes out on stage, grabs the mic from her and asks “Do you know where you’re going to?” as she’s being escorted away by security so Miss Ross can show her how it’s really done.

American politics under Trump is what I read when I need a laugh (while rolling eyes). 

Trumpty Dumpty spoke for nearly 90 minutes during Tuesday night’s State of the Union address, but if you couldn’t sit through that, here are all the highlights from the speech:

My fellow Americans,

Blah blah blah USA USA bipartisanship

Investigating my crimes is wrong

Astronauts!

Racism

Love ICE

Racism

Wall

“security”

Racism

Women cool I guess

USA USA chanting (like Germany in 1930s)

But not if they get abortions

abortion evil

fundamentalist bullshit

Venezuela president bad

Venezuela coup good

SOCIALISM BAD AHHHHHH

Troops

Holocaust (checks notes) bad

America First

Bye.

And congrats to Pelosi for inventing the “fuck you” clap, which has become the defining moment from his State of the Union address.

In short, the SOTU was more like the STFU!