Only Bill can deliver such in your face truths like that.
And since we are on the political subject…
Have you seen that viral video of Trump hissing? It’s really weird.
But it kinda makes more sense (but still weird) if you see the full video. Still, it’s a lot more fun for the imagination to think he’s a reptile cursed in that body.
I want to believe he’s actually Nagini and we’re all waiting for fate to happen.
On the other hand, I like how saying “thank you” looks so painful on him.
He contorts his whole face just to get it out.
“Mario Kart” has been trending all day today, and at first I figured it was because there’s a new game, or it’s the anniversary of that shit, or maybe Super Mario was killed off in a tragic kart accident.
It’s a billion times worse than the last one.
Stormy has already said that her one-time fuck of terror with Trump lasted less than two minutes, but not she got more graphic…
The Guardian published an excerpt from Stormy’s new book Full Disclosure where she says that Trump doesn’t exactly have a Triple I-Y dick (an “Is It In Yet?” dick), but that he’s not as hung as his ego and it felt like a losing game of Mario Kart was being played in her pussy when he boned her.
She describes Trump’s penis as “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small”.
“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool…
“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart…
Stormy Daniels is an enemy of my teenage years for this!
Not only did she ruin Mario Kart for everyone, but the next time I’m at a Chinese restaurant and my plate of delicious pan-fried noodles arrives, I’m going to look at the fried noodles and the tiny wet mushrooms and think of Trump’s Yeti pubes and dick.
And then I’m going to have to ask for a box. No, not to take my food home, but to barf into.
As usual I got up at 5:30 AM, went to work, came back home around 7 PM, went out again to check/clean a bit my parent’s house ’cause they’re in Europe at the moment, came back home around 11:30 PM, took my dog for a walk, and then, at home again…
Then I decided to take out the recycling.
I had few huge boxes I needed to take out, so I cut them, put them together, left my door unlocked and carried them outside the building (by the time it was already 1 AM). And then, once back at my building’s main entrance, I realised the worst possible scenario just happened to me…. I didn’t have my keys or my phone with me.
Two word: FUCK ME!!
I kept it cool waiting for someone to come in our out, but after an hour of waiting I was getting discouraged. It seems like people in my building sleep very early and don’t go out at all after 1 AM. Meanwhile the other buildings had more activity. I saw people taking their dogs for a walk, others smoking weed outside, biking, or just walking.
I couldn’t believe no one in my building has a nocturnal life. Apparently, I’m the only one in that condo receiving fuckfriends while everybody sleep.
Anyhow, I felt asleep sitting on the floor waiting for someone to come… And that someone arrived around 4:30 AM… The sound of the door woke me up, I look at him and he asked if I needed help… “Oh my God. Thanks” I said before telling him about my misfortune.
Long story short I had a shitty Monday, I barely slept, and here I am again.
I tend to joke how I am immortal, but truly, I don’t know any human who sleeps 2, 3 or 4 hours a day and still alive and active the way I am.
Hurricane Florence has taken several lives and left almost a million people without power. It’s tragic and dramatic on its own, but while reporting from Wilmington, North Carolina during the hurricane, Weather Channel reporter Mike Seidel decided to bring more drama…
He appeared to be bravely reporting while being buffeted by torrential rain and winds gusting at a hundred-something MPH that wanted to blow him away to the afterworld.
However, it looks like Mike is somewhat of a meteorological drama queen.
While Mike was acting like he was Helen Hunt in Twister, two dudes calmly walked by behind him, seemingly untroubled by the inclement weather.
It sort of diluted the moment.
A helpful PHD on Twitter also took the time to explain to us laypeople that, if you’re really gunning for a crown, you want to remember which way the wind is blowing.
Anyhow, my prayers are with those who are suffering this hurricane. Please stay safe.
Former Secretary of State John Kerry delivered a blistering assessment of President Donald Trump’s character on Friday’s broadcast of Real Time with Bill Maher. “He is the first president that I know of who spends more time reading his Twitter ‘likes’ than his briefing books or the constitution of the United States,” Kerry told Maher.
“Unfortunately, we have a president, literally, for whom the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth is three different things, and you don’t even know what they are,” said Kerry. “He’s got the maturity of an eight-year-old boy with the insecurity of a teenage girl. That’s just who he is.”
John Kerry is one of those American politicians you feel proud of just by seeing him. He’s intelligent, experienced and honourable. No to mention a war hero.
On the other hand, it’s cute that he even thinks Trump might read a book.