Tag Archives: Hot Sluts

Pride Machine

If you ever happen to see a rainbow in the sky, blast a Carly Rae Jepsen song from your car, pull out a telescope and prepare for your b-hole to pucker until it falls off as you look closely at that rainbow and see this vision of prism sparkliness slide down while pulling wig after wig off of his head.

Mark Kanemura is a dancer, an Instagram THOT and the big gay child of a Care Bear and Rainbow Brite who is making the internet a glamorously gayer place in honor of Pride Month by sending shards of glitter into the eyes of his followers with video after video of him dropping that ass so low Hell shook!

WARNING: If you’re wearing a shirt you like and don’t want to mess it up, you’ll want to take it off, because your nipples will squirt out glitter nectar while getting into all the Pride that Mark lays down in what looks like an IKEA showroom.

Since Richard Simmons is currently retired from causing our eyeballs to explode into clouds of sequins from taking in his infectious happiness, someone’s got to do it and it might as well be this gay superhero who is so fabulous that he snatches his own wig.

And for those who care… Happy Pride Month!

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Le Buff Pussy Of Montreal

Montreal saw Australia’s buff kangaroo and raised ’em a buff cat.

The truth is, I don’t know if this cat is really ready to pump you up or is just like one of those chunky dudes who knows how to finesse a tight t-shirt so he looks jacked. Whatever the case may be, the feline form of The Rock is definitely ready to steal your girl (or man, I don’t know his life like that), and makes cats all over Quebec reach for the Q-tip.

This cat also makes the ripped bros at the gym head to the locker room as soon as he wobbles in, because they really don’t like the feeling of their muscled-up egos deflating as they get out-lifted by a cat.

And obviously the internet loves Buff Cat.

Buff Cat isn’t only a gift on this Caturday, he’s also a gift to Canada.

Because before this cat came along everyone thought of Justin Bieber when thinking of a buff pussy from Canada. And this is a buff pussy we can truly be proud of!

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That’s how it’s Done

Sean Hayes hosted Ellen yesterday and although he claimed to be a shy dancing in front of people, it didn’t seem that way during his opening monologue.

I used to watch Ellen from time to time years ago, but to be honest I got bored of it. She’s cool and stuff but her humour is too “safe” to make me laugh.

Anyhow, Hayes was hilarious and pretty refreshing for the show.

That, folks, is how it’s done! 

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Trolling Level: STRONG

Mocking celebrity pictures online has been a trend for a while now, it seems that everyone wants to have a laugh at the unattainable celebrity lifestyle. Emanuele Ferrari, also known as Emi, is not an exception.

This Italian guy has started posting in 2014 and since then he has gained over 660k followers on Instagram with his funny recreations of celebrity photos, using only stuff he finds at home. 

One word: Accurate!

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Timeless Classic Of The Day

Stars Are Blind by ParaSite Hilton

‘Cause I don’t find too many guys that treat me like you do…

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Today is Cinco de Mayo, a day only Mexicans and Americans care about because is the day when many drunk American messes use the excuse of “celebrating Mexico’s independence” (which is actually celebrated on September 16) to put on a sombrero from a dollar store and a stick-on “fiesta” moustache from Walmart while drinking tequila in honour of a country they can’t care less.

Cinco de Mayo is also an excuse to a much more relevant thing from Mexico… Yeah, that picture may look like a promo shot for a gay porn parody of It (where they all play Peenywise), but it’s actually a promo shot for Wapayasos, a troupe of shirtless clowns who are battling against child obesity in Mexico.

Michelle Obama, who?!!!

Wapayasos was put together in Guadalajara by a group of hot young pieces who are concerned about the child obesity rates in Mexico. They performed at children’s parties, but found worldwide internet FAME earlier this year when a video of them shaking their muscle nipples while singing about a mango.

Now, the Mexican accent turns me off big time, but I wish I was the parent of a fatty so that I could book Wapayasos for an educational party in my living room to educate me on the importance of eating healthy by humping the air with their crotch salchichas.

After Wapayasos and their bare nipples hit the eyes of the internet, the gays and peen-loving ladies ate them up. Wapayasos did events at gay clubs and bachelorette parties, and continued to give us fap-worthy gifts like this scene straight out of the Scientology Celebrity Centre bathhouse gym.

Twerk those asses to that Scooby Doo song, Wapayasos!

Songs for the children but shirtless for the moms… and some dads.

The real spirit of this day!

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A human named Andrew Hill was doing some stand-up paddleboarding stuff off the coast of Gracetown in Western Australia when a pod of dolphins caught a wave and swam toward him. Another dude named Lucas Englert just so happened to be on the beach recording surfers when the pod of dolphins caught the attention of his camera.

Lucas stayed on the dolphins and captured the moment when one of them aced its WWE audition by knocking Andrew off his board with one swift bodyslam.

Some call 911 when an intruder creeps onto their property, and others handle a trick themselves, like that dolphin.

That dolphin took Andrew out like it just watched The Cove and Blackfish and is getting revenge on us evil ass humans.

That dolphin took delight in knocking him off. I think that the dolphins have had it!

So the next time you see a gang of dolphins coming your way, you better pray to Jesus to give you the instant power to run your ass on water, because that bodyslam was only a warning. Dolphins may have the sweet voice of a sweet giggling fem- bottom, but they’re more vicious than a granny who’s missing a discount grocery coupon from her wallet.

They’ll gladly jump a bitch, and they’ll do it with a smile!

Gone are the days when dolphins used to save humans…

All of that disgusting swim with the dolphins shit, you are posing for your selfie with a captive animal. The overfishing. The marine pollution. The death of coral reefs. Oil spills polluting the oceans. Etc.

We don’t deserve them or any other SUPERIOR specie either.

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