Happy 71st Birthday, CHER!

For most of us, Cher has just always been there, like the Statue of Liberty in sequins. She is larger-than-life and beloved by generations for always speaking her mind with wit and honesty, whether that’s in a candid interview or on Twitter.

To celebrate Cher’s 71st birthday today, I present a curated collection of Cher’s best quotes.

  • On clothes: “Going hungry never bothered me — it was having no clothes.”
  • On relationships: “If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life.”
  • On her gay fans: “I think that the longer I look good, the better gay men feel.”
  • On her legacy: “I am a part of history whether people want to take it seriously or not.”
  • On ageing: “Nobody dislikes my age more than me. I can’t help it that I’ve been here this long.”
  • On men: “Men aren’t necessities. They’re luxuries.”

If I close my eyes you´re the only one I see.

Love her!!!

The A(sian) Gene

Yesterday someone asked me if I was Asian… I found it funny, even though, it’s not the first time somebody asked me that. In fact those few asking me that question have a good sense of observation..

 Not because I am Asian, but I guess they can see something of my family background on my physical traits (whatever it is) ’cause there’s no other explanation for that question.

If you see some of my cousins (picture above), a lot of them look more Asian mixed. And if you ever see some of my uncles, my mom (when she was younger) or my grandma, well, then you’ll understand.

I believe my maternal grandmother had very strong genes since she was Chinese descent for what I know. My grandfather was mulatto.

In my particular case my dad is mestizo (and his mother is half-French), so I guess I’m a mixed of all that but I got more of the guys genes unlike my female cousins.

Anyhow I hardly get impressed by people, but observation is a great quality and more than amused I was admired by the person who made that remark.

TOUCH ME!

My schedule is been a total mess. I’ve been hitting the gym at night and going to sleep around 5 AM. I blame this to the lack of sex this week.

And speaking of scandals… I have not talked much about America’s (hopefully) soon to be ex President. The reason is that if I talk about all the things I disliked about the man, this blog would become one long sad political diatribe, and not a long sad I-haven’t-had-sex-in-several-days-and-it’s-killing-my-creativity complaint to the gods.

 My problems are real! 

Anyhow, I don’t want that for my blog. My heart aches that bitch is president, endangering the world. He’s an imbecile and a low down rotten crook who lies with every word out of his mouth.

I am still in shock that Americans let him won. WTF AMERICA?

But like I said, let’s not talk about him, and let’s focus on how “good” I behaved this week… Actually no, my life is chaos. I need to get fucked soon but I’m tired to be left unsatisfied like the last time.

What’s wrong with me? Why can I just be like the rest of gays and be happy with whatever has a penis? Can someone please fuck me like a champion?

Anyway, I’d better go check the many messages I just received on Whisper from all those “straight-curious” wanting to fuck me just because I post shit related to my life: 

In short I know is masturbation month, but I wasn’t born to touch myself.

I was born to be touched! 

People Are Now Making Clothes Out Of 99-Cent IKEA Bags

Some weeks ago IKEA’s hilarious responsed to Balenciaga’s $2,145 version of their iconic 99 cents Frakta bag.

Well now everybody seems to be jumping on the idea of turning the furniture giant’s famous blue bag into a must-have fashion accessory. From face masks and baseball caps to backpacks and thongs (no, really), there seems to be no limit to what people can make from IKEA’s polypropylene tote bag.

Below few awesome ideas:

NIKEA

I MUST applaud ALL of the effort made for this project! I LOVED these!

The New Spider-Man Dancing Himself Sore To RiRi’s Umbrella

The new Spider-Man movie comes out this July, and I have a serious feeling that the creators of that shit have scheduled an EMERGENCY CODE RED reshoot of its ending.

They know that it can no longer end with Spider-Man doing whatever Spider-Man does to beat the main villain. It needs to end with Spider-Man destroying the bad guy by crotch-thrusting and gyrating while wearing a $10 polyester wig and some latex bloomers

Tom Holland lip-synching puts Britney Spears to shame!

But that’s not what this is about.

It’s about him working it like his rent, his mama’s rent, his daddy’s rent, his grandma’s rent, his auntie’s rent and his cousin’s rent was due weeks ago and they’re all about to be put out.

In short, Tom is giving me life and I’M IN LOVE!!!! 

Lazy Tops Turn Me Off

I seriously don’t get it. I can’t post anything on Whisper without getting private messages of people looking for sex. Even if has nothing to do with it… I mean, since when innocent Whisper got so corrupted?

Anyhow, when I used to have friends I was known for making people horny. But I guess my talent is also textual, and maybe telepathic since Guillaume contacted me as well.

Maybe he also reads my Whispers? Naaah 

He’s just frustrated because he still can’t get me, but it’s not because I’m hard to get… He’s just an incompetent male who’s too used to get ass without making any effort… which was also my case when I was a top, BUT unlike him I had approach, and I didn’t need an app.

Guillaume is hot but lazy and guys like him are automatically disqualify because I need foreplay, friction and fantasy.

Not a boring fuck even if he’s hot.

If I were a desperate hooker lacking gorgeous men, maybe I will run to him. But it’s not the case. 

Either way…

Whatever happened to Whisper (and seductive men). 

Sly Slaying

Sylvester Stallone is an investor in Mulberry Street Pizza and he needs to advertise his stuff.

So he went on Instagram to promote Mulberry along with some guy named Richie Palmer who is a fifty something guy with one of those weird bulging veins on his abdomen… A tell tale sign you’re pumping something into yourself you can’t find over the counter.

Sly looks fantastic for a 70 something year old man.

Seriously, we’ve got to rethink the stigma surrounding steroids.

Sure it might kill you eventually, so will losing all of your testosterone.

I’d take fifty Stallone years over living to a hundred like a basic human.

A doctor will prescribe you any drug your heart desires if you pay him in cash. Most of these slowly kill you. And in terms of risk versus reward, testosterone is the best one out there next to alcohol.

Frankly, if in the end death is what is waiting for us, I’d rather go looking like Sly and not like Dr Phil!