Tag Archives: Hot Sluts

The Only Music Critic That Matters

If Rolling Stone, Billboard, and Pitchfork really cared about the integrity and quality of their music reviews, they’d get into a massive bidding war to hire this Chihuahua with flawless taste as their new chief music critic.

There’s not much info about the clip below, except for the fact that this  Chihuahua has an impeccable ear and gives the only review of Fergie’s National Anthem performance that is needed.

@TheJose8A, who posted the clip on Twitter, says that thedogs isn’t his…

Well, whoever is the human of this pooch should be proud that they’re caring for one of the greatest critical minds of our time!

This pooch obviously spends all of its time studying musical technique and performance, and doesn’t have time for silly shit like brushing its teeth, going to the dentist or flossing.

When Fergie hits that high note, she sounds like a cat getting ass fucked with a taser, so you would think that the Chihuahua would give a thumbs up to a torturous cat sound. But this pooch is able to suppress any feeling about cats to give an unbiased review.

A total pro!

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Too-Sexy-For-The-Olympics Ice Dancing Lift

Scott Moir and Tessa Virture are a three-time Olympic medal-winning ice dancing duo from Canada, and they’re currently battling it out against other ice dancers in their final Winter Olympics in PyeongChang.

Before they went off to South Korea, they won their eighth national title, and at nationals they did a Moulin Rouge-themed free-skate that included a lift I’m assuming is called The Pull Over Pussy Munch. Yes, that’s the exact technical name, I’m sure. Sadly, that lift won’t be seen at the Olympics ’cause the Olympics just can’t handle Canadian sexiness!

At the 2:24 mark in the video below, watch as Tessa gracefully flips into Scott’s arms and then climbs up onto his shoulders to give him a face full of Spandex crotch. 

If I was a judge, I would’ve immediately written “GET IT, GIRL”  on my white card and held it up. #TEAMCANADA

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Exquisite puckering Asshole wall art

If you’ve been looking at your living room and thinking to yourself that what it really needs to elevate it to the height of tasteful sophistication is a giant asshole and you’ve thought of hanging Donal Trump poster but realised that’s just too offensive, then Crate & Barrel has the perfect thing for you.

Most of us look at that thing and probably see the kind of hole pic that a power bottom would send to a hot power top he met on gay hookup app, but C&B wants us to think that they see a damn sea sponge…

“Resembling a sea sponge or coral, our organic-inspired wall art radiates deep lines from its dimpled center. Made of ceramic, each handcrafted dimensional disc is textured with scratches and glazed light grey. Coordinate with other Alura wall art piece”.

Whoever wrote this needs to write my Tinder bio, because they gave me a slight tingle at “radiates deep lines from its dimpled center.” 

On the other hand, Piers Morgan’s birthday is next month, and if you’re a friend or related to him, I feel sorry for you. But the good news is, you have just found the birthday gift to get him. Buy C&B’s puckering asshole wall art and paint it orange.

Piers seems to be so obsessed with the idea of eating Trump’s ass that he’d love it.

This is amazing:

And you’d also be giving a gift to humanity, because Piers wouldn’t talk as much since his tongue would always be stuck to his orange anus wall art.

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Lord Bates, Drama Queen

British politician Lord Michael Bates is a member of the House of the Lords and has been a minister at the Department for International Development since 2016. The Guardian says that yesterday at 15:00 GMT, Lord Bates was supposed to be in the House of the Lords chamber to answer questions about strategies for reducing inequality…

When the clock struck 15:00, Baroness Lister (Side note: British politicians have the hottest titles) of the Labour Party asked Lord Bates a question, but he wasn’t there to answer…

He showed up one minute later and because of that he quit his job as punishment to himself for arriving just 1 MINUTE LATE for a session.

You read that right, and dude is not even CANADIAN!!!

But we shouldn’t be surprised that a man named Lord Bates would be a big drama queen. 

He said that he holds himself and the other politicians up to the highest standards when it comes to respect, and he cannot allow himself to be so fucking disrespectful.

Meanwhile in America, their current POOTUS (on-purpose typo and it stays) could show up 4 hours late to a session and shit on the table before wiping his shit in everyone’s faces while burping, and he wouldn’t apologise or get in trouble.

But back to the Lords…

The real question here is why would you ask a question of someone not there? 

Passive aggressive witch! Anyway, Lord Bates still got his job ’cause British Prime Minster Theresa May rejected his resignation. 

Too bad his title wasn’t Master. The headlines would have been GOLDEN!

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Gay Pie Chart

I have so much stuff in my head to blog about, but I got a flu and I cancelled few of my dates so my horniness is preventing me to think about anything else.

Sucks to be me!

In my quest to find inspiration, I found this gay survey (I failed!) that label one another ’cause it’s always good to be able to classify and designate individuals into categories that are easily defined and understood by others…

So, based on the parameters of the survey, I’m the gym rat of the pie chart. 

I guess I am… On second thought, forget that crap!

Don’t follow the link of the survey, everyone is an individual and should be treated as such… But, not really. Follow that shit and have some harmless fun. 

I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.

I need to get laid by any colour of that chart, PRONTO!

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#雪だるま

Downtown Tokyo saw its heaviest snowfall for years last Monday, causing travel chaos throughout the city.

Cars were stranded and abandoned on roads, trains stopped running and people were left stuck at the airport as 250 international flights were cancelled.

What to do in the face of such a situation? Make snowmen, of course.

But wait, before you grab a carrot, some pebbles and a couple of sticks for arms, remember, this is JAPAN! 

Tokyo is dotted with snow sculptures that will put a smile on your face, and put old carrot nose in your backyard to shame.  

They are being shared on Twitter via the trending hashtag #雪だるま

It appears the Japanese attitude to snow sculptures is much more developed than basic European and North American stuff, but it shouldn’t be a surprise anyway. After all, when it comes to fun and creativity Asians are unmatched perfectionists.

Asians > the rest!

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Secret, the sledding dog wonder

This highly talented athlete’s name might be Secret, but it’s no secret that she’s got many, many skills.

Unless you’re Sofia Richie or some shit, you probably don’t have as many Instagram followers as this furry legend.

Secret is a 3-year-old Australian Shepherd whose human has taught her to do all sorts of extremely difficult tasks and talents like moppaint a beautiful abstract, bust out flawless movesput away laundry, etc…

But the thing that has made Secret really get some well deserved attention is the clip of her pulling a sled up a hill in Sioux City, Iowa before making that hill her bitch by sliding down it with perfect ease.

Any sledding expert will obviously tell you that Secret’s technique is like no other and she remains so calm while taking on that hill. This is a REAL stable genius

Secret has 300,000 followers on Instagram and that may seem like a crazy amount to you, but a douche like Logan Paul has over 16 million followers, and Secret is a zillion times more talented, entertaining and useful. Make sense: this world doesn’t!

We genuinely don’t deserve dogs. They’re too good for us.

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