Archives for posts with tag: Hot Sluts

So, there’s a lot going on here. I’d previously read about this story of an Instagrammer selling her bath water (listen: who hasn’t?) to “thirsty gamer boys” but did you know there was a herpes rumour twist? Of course there is.

Belle Delphine, who has 4 million followers on Instagram and 400,000 subscribers on YouTube, sold her bath water to people through her website and people bought it (why did I go to university?). Afterwards, a rumour began about people who had allegedly contracted herpes because of the bath water purchased. Well don’t worry, it was just a rumour! So you can feel free to drink up all the dirty bath water purchased over the internet that you want!

Snopes says that you “thirsty gamer boys” out there are in the clear! Well from the herpes bath water, at least–I’d imagine you have other issues to deal with if you’re buying some stranger’s bath water because you think she’s hot… But at least you can sleep knowing this rumour is a certified LIE!

Selling out bath water?! This is an entrepreneuse!!!

Look at this businesswoman: bathing ten times a day just to keep up her supply and demand!

So here’s where things get creepy…creepier. A rumor started that people got herpes. This was all because of a Twitter account which has since been found to be fraudulent.

I guess some people don’t really know about how STDs can be transmitted….

Anyway regardless of virgins ignorance and old perverts, if you buy someones bathing water, you deserve all the herpes!!

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If you took American history in high school, you definitely learned that when Florida legislature was deciding what their state motto should be in the 1860s, “We Eat Ass!”, was on the short list, but sadly, it ultimately lost to “In God We Trust.”

But some officials don’t know their state’s own history because an ass eating activist named Dillon Shane Webb, was wrongly arrested for declaring his love of tossing that salad!

The Lake City Reporter says that on Sunday at 5:50pm in Lake City, FL, a deputy noticed an “I Eat Ass” sticker stuck to the rear window (Dillon should’ve stuck it to the bumper aka the ass of a car) of a brown Chevy truck.

The deputy should’ve thrown the driver, 23-year-old Dillon Shane Webb, a thumbs up for doing Florida proud, but instead, that not-knowing deputy pulled him over to knock the b-hole out of his rim job-loving mouth.

The deputy, who is truly protecting the city from real crime, told Dillon that his sticker violated a state statute I didn’t know was possible for Florida to have. It’s a statue on the possession and distribution of obscene material. Dillon told the deputy that the sticker is just “words” and when he was asked how he’d explain it to a child, he pretty much shrugged:

The deputy asked Webb how “a parent of a small child would explain the meaning of the words,” to which Webb replied that it would be “up to the parent,” the report states.

That’s easy! A parent just has to say, “Honey, when a man and a butt are in love with each other….” Or just tell the kid the man loves eating ground Eeyore meat.

The deputy hit Dillon with a notice to appear in court on May 23. The rim job-hating deputy also demanded that Dillon remove an “s” in “ass” to censor the sticker, and when he refused on the argument that it’s his First Amendment right to declare his love of butt munching, he was arrested with resisting. He was taken down to a detention centre and was later released on $2,500 bond.

JESUS!!! Are Americans really THAT idiotic???

Gladly the dumb charges were dropped!

Seriously, Americans have to explain Donald Trump being their President to their children. What’s a little ass eating in comparison?

Dillon Shane Webb is truly the Gandhi and Nelson Mandela of ass eating.

My ass cheeks are slow clapping for him for choosing the ass eating hill as the hill he wants to die on (and eat if that hill looks like an ass).

Avengers: Endgame brought over $1 billion worldwide in its opening weekend, but none of those coins will come from Shiroi City (population: around 62,000) in Japan. Because they don’t need those low-rent, busted ass, trash Avengers when they’ve got their own team of superheroes!

Meet: Kiglmarz, who are described as the “unauthorized” Avengers.

But please, are we sure the Avengers aren’t really the “unauthorized” Kiglmarz?

The twitter account devoted to mascots, MondoMascotstweeted about Kiglmarz, calling them Shiroi City’s own Avengers. They are made up of a rotting Sno-Ball with eyes (or maybe that’s the love child of a Pac-Man Ghost and a discarded cheerleader’s pom pom found in the gutter), a stoned white dick cumming leaves (yes, that’s what that is and you can’t tell me otherwise), The More You Know Star, an orgasming peanut, Darth Vader’s Japanese cousin, and a bootleg Power Ranger who got thrown under the bus.

Get into them destroying their enemies and saving the world with some piping hot aerobic marching moves!

That Darth Vader one is totally Katy Perry’s Left Shark.

Do the right thing today. Take a moment in between making your yearly appearance at church and guzzling Bloody Marys to pay attention to Desiree Shepstone!

According to NorthJersey.com, Desiree took it upon herself to THINK OF THE CHILDREN and used garden shears to take down local dentist Wayne Gangi’s “sexy” Easter display.

Actually, maybe the honours should go to Wayne. Using mannequins dressed as slutty Easter-themed Playboy bunnies is a truly innovative way to make people think of you when considering root canals and teeth whitening procedures.

While a local New York City news crew was filming the Grove Street Easter display at 1 p.m., a woman who said her name was Desire Mozek and lives in the area, took the display down.

Her good deed was frowned upon by the local police, according to Patch.

Desiree Shepstone, 37, of Clifton, was charged with third-degree criminal mischief for damage exceeding $2,000, according to court records, the website reported.

And the dentist has vowed to put this display back up.

Because nothing makes you think of the risen Jesus like cleavage hovering over Easter baskets.

Deadline reports that the richest couple to be on the run from the law since 2014 Beyoncé and Jay-Z, were finally honored for being huge gay icons when they finally received their very own Vanguard Award at the 30th Annual GLAAD Media Awards last night at the Beverly Hilton.

When it was first announced that Bey-Zzz were being honoured for their contribution to LGBTQ rights, many wanted the receipts. But well, what gay hasn’t shaken their hand to Single Ladies on YouTube?

And I’m sure their presence helped GLAAD to sell many tables at their fancy gala. So there’s that!

But before we get into the “gay icons” of our time finally getting honoured for being the “gay icons” of our time, let’s get into the best part of the night, SHANGELA!

Shangela performed a medley of BeYAWNce tracks in front of Beyonce.

Here’s some of Shangela putting in WERK, honey:

 
You know who’s wig is not flying off tonight? Not Shangela’s. Girl has that weave glued in tight. Just like Beyoncé likes it! Bey and Jay loved the performance and even gave Shangela a standing ovation:

Now, Bey looks as if she’s aged +10 years overnight.

Is she pregnant again?

Jokes aside, I think Beyonce’s a great performer, but when she talks, lawd… She has a hard time getting the words out. Yet she has no issues singing… It’s fascinating. 

Kinda reminds of me the Warner Brothers frog. One minute singing and dancing, the next minute…

Regardless, condragulations SHANGELA!!!

I know that saliva’s main purpose is to be used as butt sex and fapping lube when your bottle of  FuckWater runs dry.

And I know that it’s second main purpose is to be used to be spit at a trick when they fuck with you and you don’t want to dirty your hands with their nastiness by slapping them.

But it also has another use, and no, I’m talking about “aiding in eating, swallowing, and digestion” (that’s not its main purpose!!!). I’m talking about using it to slick back your hair when gel ain’t around.

That’s exactly what American reporter Matt Bradley did while reporting from Syria, and he got caught on camera doing it.

During a report about contradictions in the White House’s claim that the Islamic State territory in Syria has been 100% destroyed, MSNBC anchor Ali Velshi asked Matt Bradley, who was in Eastern Syria, what the situation was.

Well, Ali, the situation was that Matt Bradley’s beauty wasn’t ready to go live, because he was caught busting out a dollop of nature’s pomade into his hand before slicking back his hair.

 
There was obviously audio issues, and Matt couldn’t hear Ali, which is why he got caught improvising, adapting, and later overcoming that faux pas on live TV.

Now, all jokes aside, the real problem is that he’s standing in an area of a former civilisation that has been nearly 100% destroyed… But eww, spit.

 It’s very easy to distract the masses from anything serious. 

In a riveting video recorded by a human in New Hampshire, a trio of cars get checked by The Crossing Guard King of New England who commands the humans to stop for the other turkeys so they can safely get to the other side.

Sure, one of the asshole drivers probably thought about how they could just hit the gas pedal and  have a main course for this year’s Thanksgiving dinner.

But they knew not to step to this traffic-stopping majestic badass!