Tag Archives: Hot Sluts

Squirrel In A “Scream” Mask

Halloween (or SlutOWeen for you hot sluts and HalloQween for you hot gay sluts) has come and gone and it’s time to put your slutty garbage collector and whorish driver’s ed instructor costumes to rest until next October.

But there’s one last fright to foist on you as you roll your eyes at all the Christmas decorations that ARE ALREADY UP IN STORES. It’s this squirrel in a Ghostface mask from Scream!

BoingBoing brings us this squirrel feeder that some maniac made (and posted on Instagram) to allow your bushy-tailed neighbour to become a crazed serial killer right outside your window.

The most terrifying part of this post isn’t that squirrel, but the fact that there’s an legit Instagram hashtag called “#squirrelsofinstagram” that has over 335,000 posts! 

So, I guess next Halloween those squirrelsofinstagram are gonna put on their scariest numbers and cause everyone to piss their trampy costumes out of terror.

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The spotlight-stealing pussy

Kate Moss was discovered at JFK airport. Naomi Campbell was scouted while shopping in London. Linda Evangelista was spotted by a scout from Elite while competing in the Miss Niagara Teen pageant.

And this week, another stunning beauty and supermodel-in-the-making (scratch that, this hot bitch IS already a supermodel) got every major modelling agency throwing contracts at it when it casually strutted into the Esmod International Fashion Show in Istanbul, Turkey.

Kat Moss (or is it Naomi Catbell? Or Cindy Clawsford? Or Clawdia Schiffur? Or Christy Purrlington?) turned the catwalk into an actual cat walk when it sashayed onto the runway during the show.

As the other models tried their hardest to not transform their “zombie on Ambien” modelling faces into rage faces over THAT BITCH upstaging them, Kat Moss lounged on the catwalk where it spread those legs, licked its bits, and tried to take a model down for getting in its space.

And then Kat Moss decided to show those models how it’s really done when it strut down the runway like the rent was due yesterday, and all of trick’s credit cards were maxed out.

As Kat Moss left the runway shook by stomping on it, the spotlight-stealing model pussy tried to take down another model.

Barely in the game and already a claws-out diva!

Who really needs the likes of Kendull Jenner now that a real catwalk-stomping model with some real talent has landed on the scene!

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Harriet, the opera donkey

Billboard reported  that Mariah Carey’s planned album Caution and the world tour to promote it have both been scrapped, because she has locked herself in her pink marble encrusted bathroom and is punching her cashmere Hello Kitty doll over the fact that a new elusive chanteuse has hit the scene, and this elusive chanteuse can hit notes that Mimi’s vocal cords could never get close to touching.

Meet Harriet, an operatic songbird who just so happens to be trapped in the body of a donkey!

A man named Martin Stanton was walking near his home in Galway, Ireland when his ears were gently tickled by the sound of a soprano angel.

Martin most likely wondered when did Maria Callas rise from the dead and why is she doing a concert in Galway Ireland. But then his eyes and ears burped out a river of WTFs when he realised that the gorgeous musical notes were coming out of a donkey.

Since then, Martin has regularly visited Harriet and took a video of her to share her gifts with the world.

Get yourself a super-absorbent beach-sized towel, because you’re going to need it to soak up the tears that will flow out of your ears from Harriet’s stunningly beautiful voice:

Even though she smokes 2 packs a day (that’s the only explanation for that cough), her voice is as delicate and pure as the dazzling sparkle on a crystal chandelier in heaven’s foyer. Apples and sugar cubes for Miss Harriet!

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New York Comic Con

I’m a kid at heart and I love anything related with costumes, particularly when involves superheroes, manga characters, and anything fun.

That said, October is a glorious month. Not only is the best month of the year due to Halloween, but there are still many Comic Con events all over the world, and one of the biggest happened this weekend: New York Comic Con.

Below some hot boys:

One word: Fanfukinstastic!

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The Queen has Spoken

While appearing on Bravo’s (annoying Andy Cohen’s show,) Naomi Campbell was asked for her thoughts on a young model named Kendall Kardashian Jenner… Oh god!

I have no doubts that this question was planted by the folks at Bravo in order to create some viral content, but I also have no doubts that QUEEN Naomi’s instantly iconic response was unplanned and entirely off the cuff.

Kendall Jenner is a model the same way Paris Hilton is a DJ.

On the other hand, Naomi Campbell defines SUPERMODEL:

Hard work, stunning looks and striking personality.

Everybody needs to bow! 

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Badass

I do not condone or endorse blatant thievery, but I do endorse foolery produced by raccoons, and quite fucking frankly, I condone blatant thievery by a criminal ball of fur who only gives a fuck about getting some deliciousness in the robber bag they call a stomach.

That leads me to this robber who proves that not all Canadians are polite and well-mannered creatures who are perfect houseguests.

This one’s a straight-up rude bitch and makes zero apologies for it. My idol!

Jenny Serwylo of Toronto tells the Toronto Star that on Tuesday night, she was getting ready to go to bed when she heard some noises coming from her kitchen. Jenny went to investigate and found a band of Goldilocks’ raccoon cousins stealing her food. Jenny grabbed a broom to shoo their thieving asses out, and two of them skedaddled off. But this one didn’t…

This hero chilled out behind Jenny’s toaster oven (above) and nibbled on some English muffins while throwing her, “Trick, try ME”, eyes.

Jenny was smart and decided not to try to tussle with a motherfucker who is just daring you to mess with ’em. She called 311, but the city told her to call a 24-hour wildlife removal company. None answered her call, so Jenny had two choices: 1. Try to tussle with the bread bandit again. Or 2. Pack up her things, hand her keys over to the bread bandit, and move out. Strangely enough, Jenny went with option 1.

Once the bread bandit ate up all of the bread in Jenny’s kitchen, the raccoon calmly exited out through the kitchen window like nothing.

I’d like to think that even Jenny stood back like, “What a badass bitch.”

That raccoon was pretty smart in my opinion. I am surprised he didn’t grab a sponge and clean that toaster oven a tad.

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Batdick

Looks like the people over at DC were inspired by their latest Batman, Ben Affleck, much more than anyone first thought. Not really by his performance of Batman itself, but by the performance of his dick in Gone Girl. Does art imitate life or life imitate art? Who knows.

Vice is reporting that in the first of a three-issue miniseries called Damned, our favourite extremely rich and broody super hero Batman, shows us his tool, and not one from around his belt, honey.

That’s right! Batman shows dick, and we aren’t talking Grayson. The NSFW (Is comic book dick NSFW?) is below and like Batman, Batdick is moody as hell and lurks in the shadows.

My thanks to writers Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo who decided that Batman’s cut dick was relevant to the plot development of this narrative. Thank you for your hard work.

So, after this  maybe there’s some Superpeen on the horizon? Oh god I hope so! I hope this means they keep Henry Cavill as Superman. 

Now Clark, it’s your turn. Let’s see what you’re packing, homeboy…

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