UMMM Are U Ok?

Kids CAN do astonishing things! The AV Club has introduced the world to this brave and probably seriously injured teenager who tortured himself to help Ariana Grande with her public speaking. He made a video in which he ate a hot pepper every time Ariana said “um” in an award acceptance speech. This is amusing at first, but then it veers into torture. So, is it possible to completely burn out your taste buds so they’ll never come back? Does this child have the ability to taste anymore? 

Hopefully Ariana sees this video and realises the amount of pain the verbalisation of her thought process is causing. 

Ages Later, Finally Something FUN From America

Teatotaller, a coffee shop in Somersworth, New Hampshire, spent its first big ad buy on a billboard telling guests the Maine border wasn’t the only thing its coffee drinkers liked to straddle!

The java house labels itself as “an oasis of queer, hipster tea, coffee, and pastry goodness,” and if their magic espresso beans and accoutrements make me look like the guy in their billboard, I’ll take three of each ’cause it’s written sex all over him!

The people of Somersworth have been clutching their pearls and assholes ever since the billboard went up, and many negative comments hit a Facebook post discussing the ad.

Somersworth’s mayor said the billboard may have pushed limits, but, like, First Amendment, betchezzz (I’m paraphrasing). 

HuffPost said Teatotaller’s owners Emmett Soldati and Palana Belken defended the billboard and praised their model, 18-year-old Michael Cummingsfor his “self-confidence, flair and fabulousness.”

Michael, seen in the ad holding a breakfast sandwich that immediately combusted from not being able to cope with his sexy Pink Panther eye shadow, popped by social media and showed the haters who is boss by writing, “As I am the person featured in this ad, all I have to say is times are changing and your views need to be changing with them.

Hell yes! A bottom slut! He makes me miss being a top!!!

Australian Reporter Speaks THE TRUTH

Australian reporter Chris Uhlmann’s report on Donald Trump at the G20 summit has gone viral after he nailed what THE WHOLE WORLD think of the U.S. “leader”:

Said Uhlmann:

“We already know that the President of the United has a particular skill set: that he’s identified an illness in Western democracies, but he has no cure for it and seems intent on exploiting it…and we’ve also learned that he has no desire and no capacity to lead the world.”

Well put my friend.

And let me add this: Trump is also uninspiring, clueless and amoral. He has no capacity for leadership, which would involve motivating people; not the puppets who kiss his ass.

And as a Canadian I care about Trump because we are neighbours, and if ever that idiot triggers a nuclear war, not only the US will disappear of the map, but Canada as well. So FUCK NO! 

The Babadook and No-Face Must Kiss

We’re just over halfway through 2017, but with Trump out there it feels like it’s already been an eternity. However, against all odds, true love appears to be alive and well.

In a recent sketch, British artist Milly Amaryllis depicted the eponymous Babadook cozying up to No-Face from Spirited Away. The union of this Australian monster/newly coronated queer icon with a hungry Japanese spirit is the antidote to what’s ailing the world right now, and you will pry their love from my cold, dead hands.

We all know the Babadook is gay. While No-Face’s gender and sexual orientation are a bit more ambiguous… and who cares anyway!

Frankly, No-Face and Babadook are the power couple the Americans need in the White House, now more than ever.

With Steve Bannon, Mike Pence, and other homophobes at the wheel, the No-Face-‘Dook union is a stark reminder that love doesn’t need anything but itself to triumph. Sometimes, it doesn’t even need bodies.

I, for one, would get tremendous joy from watching these two ethereal monsters haunt the White House until Trump and Pence tells mother Bannon it’s time to leave. But we can only dream…

China Built the World’s Cutest Panda-Shaped Solar Farm

Renewable energy just got an injection of cuteness thanks to the Panda Power Plant, a new solar farm installed in the Shanxi province of China. The adorable, panda-shaped farm will have an aggregate capacity of 100 MW when completely finished.

The initiative by Panda Green Energy, in cooperation with the United Nations Development Program, is part of a push to educate China’s young people about sustainable energy. Accordingly, an activity centre at the solar farm will educate local schoolchildren about solar energy and its benefit. Since starting construction in November 2016, the project has progressed rapidly because unlike here Montreal, the Chinese KNOW how to get shit done efficiently and in a record time.

The first phase is now complete, with one 50 MW panda being connected to the grid.

This first Panda Power Plant is just the beginning. Panda Green Energy revealed that it intends to build more solar farms over the next 5 years as part of their Panda 100 program. The goal is to construct along the Belt and Road areas that are part of President Xi Jinping’s economic development strategy.

3 words: YAAAS CHINA YAAAS!!!

Happy Belated Independence Day America

To celebrate with you and the few who care, here’s the beautiful moment when the First Lady Of Poland left  the orange garbage hanging.

Trump’s face always looks like it’s been overcooked on a tanning bed, but it really had the word BURN all over it.

Thank you Polish First Lady for ignoring president what the fuck and making him look like the clown fool that he is. THANK YOU!!!