Tag Archives: I CAN’T

Trump: Everybody Thinks I Deserve The Nobel

I don’t. Therefore you lie! 

THIS coming from the man(?) who just started a confrontation with Iran whom btw is not North Korea. Iran is a lot more dangerous because unlike the Korean psycho boy, Iran is ruled by a supreme religious kamikaze extremist who truly doesn’t give a fuck!

And another Middle East crisis has just begun… 

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Commemorative coin…

I swore allegiance to the Queen when I became a Canadian citizen decades ago.

I like the fact we are part of The Commonwealth and of an old-fashion tradition. I like to see the face of the Queen in our currency, she’s been a great leader for what feels like centuries, BUT only her.

That said, I’m hating this new Canadian commemorative coin for Prince Harry and Meghan Whatever’s wedding…

I seriously don’t get the excitement of it. Okay, old people like me know Harry since he was a kid, and maybe that makes us nostalgic, but her… I know she’s an actress but I’ve never seen her in any film or show.

I have no idea how relevant she is, but all the buzz about it it’s pretty ridiculous.

Apparently the awful coin is edged in maple leaves, English roses and shells from Prince Harry’s coat of arms. It also features three Swarovski crystals to represent Markle’s three-stone engagement ring… It costs $104.95 and can be ordered from the mint’s online store at http://www.mint.ca and by phone.

One word: Meh!

364 days of the year I’m proud to be Canadian, but today was that exception.

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Gender reveal Party?

I’m 300 year old, and I have a hard time to understand mortals.

Nowadays it’s exhausting and difficult to be the friend of someone who is having a baby. You gotta put yourself together and buy a present for the baby shower. Then you gotta buy a present for the sip and see. And now you gotta put yourself together for the goddamn gender reveal party.

Humans just love coming up with ways to waste money.

A gender reveal party used to be where the mom and dad just cut a cake, and it’d be pink cake for a girl and blue cake for a boy. *eye roll* But now people are getting more and more theatrical and over-the-top with revealing to their friends and family what kind of genitals their unborn baby has.

Seriously, whatever happened to the magic of keeping some privacy.

Gone are the days when you revealed the gender of your baby by having it!

You can watch the video here.

And yes, it’s Bill Murray. When Bill hit it, blue glitter exploded everywhere, which means she’s pregnant with either a boy or a Smurf.

Frankly, couples doing this type of stupid unnecessary parties are meant to divorce.

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When is the media going to stop giving assholes so much attention?

And here we go AGAIN.

If you missed the latest extra-large fart bubble of sad insanity that came out of Kanye West’s mouth during his visit to TMZ, then might I suggest you keep on missing it and watch a much less gross and much more satisfying video by clicking here. But if you insist….

To get attention for his new albums and his self-published “philosophy” book on Twitter, Kanye has declared his love for his brother Donald Trump, told us that he loves the brain of Black Lives Matter hater Candace Owens, and did a 2-hour interview.  But he really went for it when he dropped into the offices of TMZ

Kanye said that since slavery lasted for 400 years, the slaves must’ve made the choice to remain slaves. Strangely enough, Kanye didn’t also say that Jewish people willingly went to concentration camps because they wanted a free vacation? He’s probably saving that for his next visit.

“When you hear about slavery for 400 years, for 400 years?! That sounds like a choice. Like, you was there for 400 years and it’s all y’all? It’s like we’re mentally in prison. I like the word prison because slavery goes too direct to the idea of blacks. So prison is something that unites us as one race. Blacks and whites being one race. We’re the human race.”

Later in the newsroom, Kanye asked everyone if they think he’s thinking freely, and that’s when TMZ’s Van Lathan became a hero by trying to get through to him by feeding him a potent dose of WAKE THE FUCK UP:

The train wreck of 2018 didn’t end there.

Kanye already admitted that he had an opioid addiction during his breakdown of 2016, and he told everyone that he got addicted after getting lipo. He said that he got the Kartrashian special, because he didn’t want them to call him fat….

So according to the logic of Kanye, slavery is a choice, but lipo is something he was forced to do? GOT IT!! This guy is obviously not well.

Stop asking him questions about shit he clearly knows nothing whatsoever about because an opinion about something based on ignorance is worse than having no opinion at all.

You know, I only have room for one delusional artist in my life, and she actually has talent:

Jokes aside, the American trash culture scares me! 

The importance they give to these kind of uneducated egotistical lunatics is alarming… That’s exactly how they ended up with their current President!

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Disco Butchery

Do you love the classic disco song September by Earth, Wind & Fire but always wished it was just a little shittier? Well, you’re in luck ’cause Taylor Swift just covered for Spotify’s Singles series.

Instead of evoking feelings of  joy, nostalgia, love and sexy fun, it evokes feelings of asthma attacks, stale beer honky tonks and suicidal ideation!

I’m sorry to do this to you but you might as well get it over with.

Ready? One, two, three HIT PLAY!

No, no and fuck no! Leave that tune alone!!

I promised myself not to know what is a Cardi B and under no circumstances will I allow myself to enjoy that mayonnaise version of an EW&F classic.

Don’t get me wrong the kid is talented, BUT she sucked every last bit of soul out of that celebratory song. This is similar to when Adele turned George Michael’s “Fastlove” into a weepy, tuneless dirge… Just NO!!

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And so begins the desperate attempt for ratings….

Men who make a living singing should know and accept their place in society. But when they forget, women like Katy Perry are here to remind them.

Benjamin Glaze is probably a 19 yo virgin and was saving his first kiss for his first relationship…

As he walked out onto the American Idol stage, chastity belt in full swing, Katy took something from Benjamin that he can never get back, his “first kiss.”

Normally any average 19 yo (or men of any age) would be ecstatic to discover that Perry is an easy woman that puts out without putting in any effort. Trust me! I know them well.

But not Mr. Glaze. He had his honour stolen… yeah dude is into melodrama.

I personally would only be upset if Katy gave me my first kiss after recently giving some other guy his first blowie ’cause nothing worse than getting your first smooch and your first snowball on the same day.

Anyway, what’s really sad here is the fact THAT is considered a kiss! 

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Four Times Married Christian Adulteress Kim Davis Releases Book On Sanctity Of Marriage

Oh America… Do you remember this crazy? She was news some years ago for acting crazy.

Via press release from the Liberty Counsel:

Kentucky County Clerk Kim Davis released her new book, Under God’s Authority: The Kim Davis Story. This true story goes behind the scenes to reveal how God gave this unlikely candidate a platform to defend marriage and religious freedom.

In this amazing narrative of redemption and courage, Davis details her personal experience from the moment Kentucky’s governor ordered the state’s county clerks to issue same-sex marriage licenses, throughout her arrest and release from jail. Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee “It’s a great read. But more than that, this remarkable story of what God did in Kim’s life gives me hope for our nation. I think it will give you hope, too.”

“Kim Davis is one tough lady,” said Franklin Graham, CEO of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and Samaritan’s Purse. “In a culture that demeans people who obediently follow Jesus, Kim Davis drew on His strength as she experienced—and endured—persecution from the culture, the court, and the crowds, and survived to tell about it all in her compelling book Under God’s Authority. Her story proves that one person can really make a difference when taking a stand for Christ!”

“While the church of Jesus Christ slumbers comfortably in their padded church pews, Kim Davis went to bat for all of us by challenging the seats of political power, going to jail for her faith, and ultimately planting a stake in the ground for religious freedom. My children and I will always admire her,” said Elizabeth Johnston, known as The Activist Mommy. Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin said, “When history called upon Kim, she was both ready and willing to respond. Will the same be said of you?”

The title, of course, is what Davis spat back when a gay couple demanded to know under whose authority she was refusing to issue their marriage license. On the other hand, one of those men (David Ermold) is running against her….

HAHAHAHA what a mess that country is, and WTF with the dumb reviews? Isn’t that governor Huckabee and the others supposed to be educated?

I guess education does not cure lunacy.

“Her story proves that one person can really make a difference…” And that person is David Ermold who had the courage to tell this mess to do her job!

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