Tag Archives: Irrelevant

Flop Quit the FlOpscars

I have no clue who this person is, but he was chosen to host the FlOpscars.

However, it seems that he tweeted some truly disgusting anti-gay hate speech within the past 10 years, and when those tweets were presented to him, he refused to apologise, instead saying he was in love with his new self.

Then, the Academy demanded he apologise, to which he said no.

Now, he has apologised, all he ever had to do, but is taking his ignorant antics and going home, stepping down as host, a gig he had recently said was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

You know, I seriously have no idea who this irrelevant is but for what I’m reading he’s as funny as his homophobia.

He is clearly insecure, impossibly nauseating, and devastatingly uneducated. But like any homophobic, his fixation with gay people only shows the denial of his real essence.

He’s probably into trannies and femboys. Like most straight black guys.

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There could be 100 people in a room and I would be the one who wouldn’t care about either of them

Madonna is here to swipe some more at her arch-nemesis Lady Gaga.

The two have been slapping at each other for years and years, and now it’s Madge’s turn and she’s bringing up Gaga “100 People” supercut.

Madonna has swiped at Lady Gaga for her constant robotic blithering about how Bradley Cooper believed in her when no one else would during the making of A Star’s Is Born.

Madge reached into her memory and tried to figure out when she had used the numbers 100 and 99 and 1 in a sentence, and bitch found it.

So you’re saying Lady Gaga is outright trying to be a carbon copy clone of Madonna? And you didn’t realise that 10 years ago?

Although I like some Lady Haagen Daz songs and family’s ice cream, Gaga has never been as culturally significant as Madonna and never will be. Madge opened the doors for her and others and she’s acting like it was soooo hard and she’s so strong… Whatever son! 

Anyhow you girls tried it, but this sentence actually doesn’t belong to either of you.

It belongs to HER:

Long story short, both are annoying.

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Melania Loves Her Red Blood Trees

After the White House threw up that video of Melania Trump wandering through the boring Christmas decorated White House, people have been roasting her like chestnuts on an open fire.

The most egregious of the crimes against style Melania participated in, was the all-red Christmas trees she filled the East colonnade with.

Well, Melania is here to tell you she doesn’t care and is serving you another dose of Not Giving A Fuck About Your Opinion Or Common Human Decency.

People is reporting that the most bullied person in the world had to defend her use of period-coloured trees when she attended Liberty University to give a speech at a town hall.

She called the trees “beautiful” and “fantastic” and said:

“We are in the 21st Century and everybody has different taste… I think they look fantastic. I hope everybody will come over and visit it. In real life, they look even more beautiful. You are all welcome to visit the White House, the people’s house.”

The White House had previously given a response to the period cone trees, because they sure aren’t busy explaining what they’re up to at the Mexican border.

So they come with this ignorant bullshit:

“The choice of red is an extension of the pales, or stripes, found in the presidential seal designed by our Founding Fathers. It’s a symbol of valor and bravery.”

People on the internet definitely see valor and bravery… Not:

Even Trump is probably saying: “You can see there was blood coming out of the trees eyes, blood coming out of their wherever.”

I don’t get why people is shocked by her taste. After all, she married that man!

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Where’s a good wind shear when you need one?

Based on that sweatshirt, the only ghosts Kanye West or Kim Kardashian will be seeing from here on out are the ghosts of not looking as obnoxious as possible. Because you could say that officially died after their latest rich asshole stunt.

Kim and Kanye recently took a trip to Japan… Poor Japan.

First Godzilla, now these two monsters?

Kim kicked off their trip by posting a series of Instagram Stories in which she showed off how they got to Japan. They rented a private 747.

Kim claims she had no idea you could rent out a jet that big, and that it’s the only way Kanye will fly now.

People points out that Air Force One is also a Boeing 747. It’s bigger than Kim’s fake ass, has two levels of seating, uses four engines, and can accommodate between 416 to 660 passengers.  According to How Stuff Works, a 747 uses about a gallon of fuel every second. A 10-hour flight might see 36,000 gallons of fuel being used up.

A flight from Los Angeles to Tokyo usually takes about 12 hours, which is a lot of fuel to burn. And it seems like on the plane was just Kimbo, Kandouche, their trainer, and a couple of entourage members.

Obviously, some people with common sense thought that flying private in a plane that guzzles fuel and could carry the population of a small village was gross.

I think something is wrong with me.

I can’t muster any outrage over this; all I can think of is… This isn’t surprising.

It’s exactly the kind of selfish, stupid, attention-whoring shit they do.

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Why everyone is so Shocked and Upset?

Yesterday on the internet every single page had Ariana Grande on the news.

At first I thought she died. But then I realised society was just being dumb.  

Ever since she broke up with the meth face guy, Ariana have followed up her always-in-the-media relationship campaign with a mostly-in-the-media break up tour.

Apparently, her show is not over. Now she has moved into the next phase of her post-engagement renaissance: a dramatic haircut!

She revealed the “dramatic change” to everyone on Instagram.

And I put the words “dramatic change” in quotations because, what? I need someone to explain why everyone is so shocked and upset about this?

Some of her fans were commenting such extreme reactions as: “OMGOGMGOG” and “Noooooooooooooooooooo”.

What I want to know is: do these people really think all that hair was HERS and didn’t involve just  removing some extensions and a fake pony tail? 

No wonder some people believe the Kardashians are “natural”.

Anyway, now she doesn’t have to mess with it during oral.

On the other hand, she looks like 12 with all those idiotic snapchat filters.

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Franzia is that You?

The folks at Tide may finally be recovering from young dipshits thinking their pods were edible.

But I guess when they decided to re-brand their containers, they looked to the boxed wine they guzzled each night after a day of lecturing teens on why it isn’t great to eat laundry detergent.

Tide is hopping on the environmental train by coming out with a new eco-friendly container.

Sure, it’s going to help the world be a better place and you’ll definitely never see a sad video of a turtle with a Tide jug up its nose. However, this also looks like a colourful Franzia Box from the wine aisle.

Vox says Tide’s repackaged laundry detergent is a push to be friendlier to the environment and cut down on shipping costs. The new stuff has 60% less plastic and 30% less water than the old plastic bottle.

That’s great, but if idiots were eating Tide Pods, they’re most certainly going to start drinking this stuff like they’re getting their evening fix of Ramona Singer Pinot Grigio.

On a second thought, I do hope some dumb motherfuckers drink this.

The same ones that made Trump win.

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Megyn Kelly’s doesn’t understand why Is Blackface Racist

Who but Megyn Kelly, staunch defender of Santa Claus’s Right to Be White, could be trusted to declare something as decidedly racist as blackface isn’t actually racist at all?

Kelly tackled minstrelsy Tuesday morning on Megyn Kelly Today, a very bad program that has netted her a salary so big… What is racist?” she declared to the panel full of white people she convened to discuss offensive Halloween costumes.

“On Halloween you’ve got guys with fake axes coming out of their heads. It’s going to be jarring.”

Never mind that fake axes and gore don’t have the same dehumanizing history as blackface, because when Kelly was a kid, blackface was “okay,” and as a very wise “not” racist woman who may or may not have also been Megyn Kelly once said about Santa Claus, “Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change.”

You have to be truly tone deaf, out-of-touch and in your own privileged bubble to not understand why blackface is racist, especially at a time when a lot of black men and women in America get shot and killed on the daily by the people who are supposed to protect them for the very reason that they are black.

Megyn’s internal logic must work this way:

Racist = bad. White people = not bad. Therefore white people cannot be racist.

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