Tag Archives: Jhaime

Nevermind

It sounds too good to get carried away, play at random and never know where you can end… or start. And although the beginning is always happier than the end, ends are necessary when you’re hurting yourself.

Something weird happened between Jhaime and I, and yesterday I decided to give up. 

I was cool when a month ago he changed our original plan, but my coolness stop when (his) indecisions play with my mind.

He was acting bipolar AF and no thanks! I’m not here for that. I was doing my best to make this temporary long-distance work, but I can’t do it alone. Relationships are of two.

I was getting used to him and as you can imagine it’s not fun to turn the page and find again a blank space… I thank him though for making me feel more than a fuck toy for several weeks, and making me realise that I’m still capable to give more than that.

He ran, they never taught him to walk. And I ran away from illusions and harm.

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Some Days

Some days I’m like “fuck it! I’m getting laid today.”

But most days I’m like “Ugh! I can’t do this to him.” 

My dilemma is being too sexual and now too used to indulgence, that fighting my urges is a real torture… Today we touched the subject frivolously ’cause I didn’t want him to allow me to fuck with other guys. Not that I want to either. I know how that usually ends…

Jhaime is smart enough to not play with fire (or let me to) and it shows me compromise. A compromise I do my best to not break because I sincerely believe he’s a worth it guy.

Well, pretty much all the guys I’ve been with on a serious level were worth it. And the fact that at some point we had to stop walking life together didn’t make them less valuable.

Some days I don’t remember the pain of calling someone’s name, hear the things they used to say, see the smile, the clothes, the shape, it got easier everyday stopped dreaming of a face… And while it’s good, I don’t wanna get comfortable fearing getting hurt again.

Some days I think too much about this. And some days I don’t even think at all.

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Cute

The thing is, apparently L.A. doesn’t have free Wifi, everywhere, like we do in Montreal, and some days staying in touch is not too obvious.

Yesterday I didn’t text him ’cause I was kinda fed up of feeling like the only one making an effort (you gotta understand that the lack of sex is ruining my mood and pretty much my existence because I have Mykola, Ricardo, Randy, Bruce, Guillaume and whoever else I forgot on standby due to my dumb old-fashion idea of commitment for someone whom I promised to wait until July) so this morning he sent that.

Petty cute, but for now I’d better focus on my fitness and get my body ready for all the sexy catch up in one more month… Ugh! One. More. Month… I can’t believe I just typed that.

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Popular Guys

Years ago I vowed to myself that I would’t date popular guys.

Bunny was (and still is) a super popular guy, and although I didn’t have an issue with that, after our breakup his shadow always followed me ’cause everyone knew who he was and most guys I met after him were like… “OMG are you his ex?!” With a surprised connotation as if they didn’t expected that someone so low-profile was the boyfriend of that popular wanted guy… Well, in your face sluts!!!

Jhaime is also somehow popular due to his dancing gigs and assorted exposition. Ironically he also know Bunny because, who doesn’t?

The point is I don’t mind dating someone so demanded, after all I’m confidant they chose me for a reason. My nuisance is the adjustment of my privacy by dealing with the curiosity of those related to/after them over me.

Anyway, here is Jhaime killing it on stage all over the US.

June is already here and I’m going on vacations, so July will arrive very fast.

The decisive month to see if I get more serious, or not, with this popular guy.

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ShowTime

He had a big day yesterday. kept me updated the whole day and even sent me a link of the live event last night… Our lifestyles cannot be more opposite, but, it’s refreshing in a way (at least for now). In any case, he’s sweet and I admire his determination. 

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He’s More Latino Than I

As I mentioned before, my for-now-current-guy (Jhaime) is a mix of Israeli dad and Mexican mom. He lived in both countries but grew up mostly in Mexico, so he’s actually more Mexican to my disbelief ’cause the Mexican accent turns me off, big time.

I also mentioned (as if someone cares) he’s currently in the States for work in both of his fields (law and dance…) He’s in New York right now, for the weekend, with a troupe of dancers for a salsa convention…. Two word: ¡AY BENDITO! 

Yeah, we don’t use that expression in South America, but it’s appropriate in this case ’cause it sounds tropical and hot like Caribbean men and their big dicks, which I totally relate to salsa. After all salsa comes from Cuba and I know well Cuban D.

Anyway Jhaime text me every single day, and every single day I’m surprised by how much of a stranger he is to me. I mean, we already fucked and have intimacy and all that, but he’s still pretty unknown to me, as I am to him.

However the difference is that he does a lot of things, while I only do lot of men.

So, knowing me it’s easy. Knowing him will take me time.

And time will tell if i’ll be able to do it.

In related news, can you believe I haven’t had sex in a week?

The worst thing is that Ricardo, Guillaume and Randy have been texting me and I’ve been strong to not succumb to lust, but omg I feel I won’t be strong enough for too long.

Long story short, I’m happy Jhaime is following his dreams and do the stuff he likes.

Dance is in his blood, but I just wish that instead of leaving all that testosterone on the dance floor he leaves it in my bed, like any considerate gentlemen does.

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Issues

I had a “cards on the table” type of convo with Jhaime early this morning.

All was cool until yesterday, when I was having a hard time dealing with some stuff… But today I had enough when he told me he won’t come back in June anymore, but July.

So I had to speak up. 

I have trust issues, and not knowing much about his routine allows my creativity to run wild… Which is not good because I’m the worst piece of shit and corrupted in the head AF.

The truth is, Jhaime is a lawyer in the making, and also a professional dancer (no wonder his hot legs and ass). And this opportunity to go to L.A. for work in both of his passions is a great momentum in his life.

Obviously, the last thing I want is to be an issue. But I also don’t wanna be the idiot waiting for him if he’s not planning on coming back.

As you know, I have 5 minutes left of youth and I cannot waste them.

It’s a bit hard to synchronise a proper time to chat ’cause he doesn’t always have wifi and there’s 3 hours difference between us. So usually we chat super early in the morning or between breaks at work. 

I know he sincerely likes me but I also know I’m not used to NOT have attention (even though I mostly need communication,) and this situation leaves me unsettle because I’m a fucking princess. 

Anyway we are cool, but it’s also clear that July is my expiration month.

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