Archives for posts with tag: Kardashians

Because making a billion dollars off of basic-ass mall makeup wasn’t enough for Ky-LIE Jenner (read KarTrashian,) she went ahead and launched a basic-ass skin care line.

And it’s a bit of a mess! Which surprised no one.

The internet called Ky-LIE out for using cheap skin-damaging walnut particles in her facial scrub. The internet called Ky-LIE out for possibly faking positive reviews. And now the internet is calling her out for a laughably bad facial cleansing demonstration.

Ky-LIE tweeted a short video of herself using the Ky-LIE Skin foaming facial cleanser.

Ky-LIE, with one of those childish (and disturbing on adults) Snapchat filter on her face squirts out some product, then proceeds to wash her face for a whole seven seconds before rinsing it off.

As she dries her face, a huge makeup smear can be seen on her towel.

I think it’s amazing that Ky-LIE has any fans at all considering that her old face is ALL OVER THE INTERNET. She’s fake through and through.

With the industrial amounts of makeup she uses, she needs WAY more than a pump of wimpy foam and two splashes of water to remove all that warpaint. Also, those nightmare fingernails and wig are the cherry on top of the fuckery.

Seriously, that “cleansing” routine is so lazy and indifferent it could’ve written the Game of Thrones finale!

There is not one single thing that is real about ANY of the Katrashians. 

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When the organiser of any event is putting together the guest list and they don’t see Billy Porter’s name on it, they should consider cancelling that bitch altogether, because Billy Porter is quickly proving that nobody can make a carpet explode in a tornado of glitter shards like him.

While most basics looked the way they always do (the Kardashians,  Katy Perry, Gaga, Jlo, etc ) Billy made tricks prolapse left and right with his glamour.

I’d like to think that Billy Porter just had this casual Sunday afternoon lounging look hanging in his closet, but believe it or not, it was custom made by The Blonds.

Vogue says that Billy Porter was inspired by Diana Ross in Mahogany, Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra, Cher, and Pepper LaBeija.

And speaking of basics…

Here’s the Koven, and Kim looking like she had a couple of ribs removed:

Kuntye looks like he was given elephant tranquillisers.

Truly, the Met Gala used to mean something. Since it’s been tainted by the Klan, it’s cringe-worthy embarrassing trash.

Anyhow aside from Billy, I actually liked Cardi’s outfit… She nailed it!

In short, after Billy’s entrance serving Ancient Egyptian Goddess realness, every other motherfucker should have just ubered home.

So, the prestigious Musée des BeauxArts de Montréal is about to open the magnificent Thierry Mugler expo, just like they did some years ago with Jean Paul Gaultier.

However when Gaultier came to Montreal for the opening, he also brought a REAL STAR, a GODDESS, a MUSE, none other than French Diva Arielle Dombasle.

I have no idea if Mugler is in the city, but attention whores needs attention, so Kim Kardashian is in Montreal right now because apparently she recently learnt who Mugler is and now she’s a fan…

Here are some pics of her TONIGHT that someone uploaded on social media.

Look at her! I bet she’s freezing her ass not wearing a coat ’cause it’s like -22°C tonight. I mean, if I was freezing walking home (and I’m used to extreme cold) I’m sure she was dying on that summer dress outside.

Anyway, Thierry Mugler deserves better. And Montreal too! 

First of all, for real? Hollywood Beauty Awards? I guess at this point the make-up artists and beauty teams in Hollywood deserve whatever awards they can get their hands on because it’s not like you can perform Photoshop in real life like it’s a spell from Harry Potter.

And of course, what event surrounding image would be complete without an appearance from Kim Kartrashian in some ugly shit from the Haus of Look At Me.

Actually she’s wearing a vintage Thierry Mugler, and as an iconic as Mugler is, and as glorious as Mugler was,  I’m hating Mugler for allowing HER (and also Cardi Whatever at the Grammys) to use his pieces.

They’re making his art look tacky and cheap.

A dress like this deserves either rock hard implants or a small natural C. Nothing in between, and certainly not this!!

Based on that sweatshirt, the only ghosts Kanye West or Kim Kardashian will be seeing from here on out are the ghosts of not looking as obnoxious as possible. Because you could say that officially died after their latest rich asshole stunt.

Kim and Kanye recently took a trip to Japan… Poor Japan.

First Godzilla, now these two monsters?

Kim kicked off their trip by posting a series of Instagram Stories in which she showed off how they got to Japan. They rented a private 747.

Kim claims she had no idea you could rent out a jet that big, and that it’s the only way Kanye will fly now.

People points out that Air Force One is also a Boeing 747. It’s bigger than Kim’s fake ass, has two levels of seating, uses four engines, and can accommodate between 416 to 660 passengers.  According to How Stuff Works, a 747 uses about a gallon of fuel every second. A 10-hour flight might see 36,000 gallons of fuel being used up.

A flight from Los Angeles to Tokyo usually takes about 12 hours, which is a lot of fuel to burn. And it seems like on the plane was just Kimbo, Kandouche, their trainer, and a couple of entourage members.

Obviously, some people with common sense thought that flying private in a plane that guzzles fuel and could carry the population of a small village was gross.

I think something is wrong with me.

I can’t muster any outrage over this; all I can think of is… This isn’t surprising.

It’s exactly the kind of selfish, stupid, attention-whoring shit they do.

She’s been looking like a cheap sex doll for years but now she poses like one?

Also whatever she’s doing to her face is making her look more manly than Caitlyn, and that’s saying a lot. I truly I don’t know why she bothers with any photos. A simple google search will show close-ups of her vulva and gifs of her giving a blow job.

Anyway, her picture is not as dumb as the stuff she said in the magazine. 

I seek solace in the facts no one (with a brain) watches her show and buys the drivel she spews anymore, and that she and her klan keep grasping for relevancy as the Royal Family continue to steal their thunder.

Anyhow, sorry for ruining your morning and forcing you to look the right porno to forget the awfulness that is whatever pictured above.

While appearing on Bravo’s (annoying Andy Cohen’s show,) Naomi Campbell was asked for her thoughts on a young model named Kendall Kardashian Jenner… Oh god!

I have no doubts that this question was planted by the folks at Bravo in order to create some viral content, but I also have no doubts that QUEEN Naomi’s instantly iconic response was unplanned and entirely off the cuff.

Kendall Jenner is a model the same way Paris Hilton is a DJ.

On the other hand, Naomi Campbell defines SUPERMODEL:

Hard work, stunning looks and striking personality.

Everybody needs to bow!