Tag Archives: Kardashians

Where’s a good wind shear when you need one?

Based on that sweatshirt, the only ghosts Kanye West or Kim Kardashian will be seeing from here on out are the ghosts of not looking as obnoxious as possible. Because you could say that officially died after their latest rich asshole stunt.

Kim and Kanye recently took a trip to Japan… Poor Japan.

First Godzilla, now these two monsters?

Kim kicked off their trip by posting a series of Instagram Stories in which she showed off how they got to Japan. They rented a private 747.

Kim claims she had no idea you could rent out a jet that big, and that it’s the only way Kanye will fly now.

People points out that Air Force One is also a Boeing 747. It’s bigger than Kim’s fake ass, has two levels of seating, uses four engines, and can accommodate between 416 to 660 passengers.  According to How Stuff Works, a 747 uses about a gallon of fuel every second. A 10-hour flight might see 36,000 gallons of fuel being used up.

A flight from Los Angeles to Tokyo usually takes about 12 hours, which is a lot of fuel to burn. And it seems like on the plane was just Kimbo, Kandouche, their trainer, and a couple of entourage members.

Obviously, some people with common sense thought that flying private in a plane that guzzles fuel and could carry the population of a small village was gross.

I think something is wrong with me.

I can’t muster any outrage over this; all I can think of is… This isn’t surprising.

It’s exactly the kind of selfish, stupid, attention-whoring shit they do.

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Her Face

She’s been looking like a cheap sex doll for years but now she poses like one?

Also whatever she’s doing to her face is making her look more manly than Caitlyn, and that’s saying a lot. I truly I don’t know why she bothers with any photos. A simple google search will show close-ups of her vulva and gifs of her giving a blow job.

Anyway, her picture is not as dumb as the stuff she said in the magazine. 

I seek solace in the facts no one (with a brain) watches her show and buys the drivel she spews anymore, and that she and her klan keep grasping for relevancy as the Royal Family continue to steal their thunder.

Anyhow, sorry for ruining your morning and forcing you to look the right porno to forget the awfulness that is whatever pictured above.

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The Queen has Spoken

While appearing on Bravo’s (annoying Andy Cohen’s show,) Naomi Campbell was asked for her thoughts on a young model named Kendall Kardashian Jenner… Oh god!

I have no doubts that this question was planted by the folks at Bravo in order to create some viral content, but I also have no doubts that QUEEN Naomi’s instantly iconic response was unplanned and entirely off the cuff.

Kendall Jenner is a model the same way Paris Hilton is a DJ.

On the other hand, Naomi Campbell defines SUPERMODEL:

Hard work, stunning looks and striking personality.

Everybody needs to bow! 

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Kim Whoredashian Suggested Tyson Beckford Is Gay Because He Doesn’t Like Her Body

It seems like just yesterday the internet was getting mad at Kim Kardashian for being obsessed with how skinny she was and already the internet is mad at her for something else. …Oh yeah! It was just two days too. Way to keep that exposure rolling, Kim!

The Huffington Post reports (because real news is dead) that Kim started a mild internet beef with Tyson Beckford after he swatted away a pic of her and labelled her body as not his thing because the USDA would never certify it as organic and because she should go on Botched for her botched hip job.

This all started after some Instagram model-type person named Amirah Dyme posted a picture of Kim to her Instagram account. Because Tyson is apparently one of Amirah’s 1.6 million followers, he decided to comment on the photo of Kim and give his two cents on her body.

The Shade Room took screenshots of the comments because someone had to:

I never really noticed Kim’s right hip, because I was too busy screaming as my eyes burned after looking at her hideous plastic hoof covers. 

Well, Kim was not having it. A man talk shit about how he didn’t want anything to do with her body? A man not find Kim Kardashian a sexual deity? Impossible, and clearly gay!!

And Kim suggested as much writing: “Sis we all know why you don’t care for it”. The Shade Room got a screenshot of their own screenshot because that’s how meta they are:

That tea-drinking frog is straight up aggressive. And the nails? That’s the wrong shade of pink! Twitter had mixed reactions to Kim’s klapback, some thought it was klever, others thought she was being a messy homophobe.

Is Kim right? Did we all know Tyson Beckford is gay? Because I sure the fuck didn’t, and I’m honestly upset no one told me.

Those muscles? That face? Those lips? FUCK ME Tyson Beckford!!

Now, for the kids who doesn’t know who Tyson is, well Tyson is a SUPERMODEL and he was ONE of the HOTTEST models of the 90s.

He has the authority to judge beauty and plastic when he sees one.

Tyson is natural perfection.

On the other hand, Kim is 98% plastic, 2% Air.

She can fuck off! The end.

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Does Forbes know what Self Made means?

Whatever picture was hanging on the largest wall in Kris Jenner’s office (possibly a blown-up still from Kim’s porno) has surely been taken down today and replaced with a giant, framed picture of her youngest and most lucrative money maker on the cover of this month’s issue of Forbes.

Last year it was reported that Kylie Jenner’s makeup company made $420 million in 18 months of retail sales. A year later, and Kylie Cosmetics has more than doubled their sales at $900 million. According to Forbes, 20-year-old Kylie is on her way to becoming the youngest self-made billionaire.

As the term “self-made” usually conjures images of either two old-timey dudes labouring away in a basement in an episode of Drunk History inventing tampons or whatever, or Mark Zuckerberg creating Facebook, or Evan Spiegel creating that nude trade app called Snapchat, people are generally laughing in Kylie’s privileged entitled engorged botched face on the magazine’s cover because born into extreme wealth & instant fame is the exact opposite of “self made”.

Kylie Jenner is also already the youngest person on Forbes’ list of the richest self-made women in America, and clocks in higher than her sister and higher than… Judge Judy!! Which should be qualified as a crime against humanity.

Now, I seriously have nothing against that blow up doll, except the fact she insist on trademarking her name “kylie” when she already lost that battle with the ONLY & ORIGINAL… KYLIE!!!

So yeah,  its been a real struggle and she has worked SO hard to get where she is… This bitch can’t even put a coherent sentence together and we are to believe she is “self made”.

Oprah is self-made. This hooker? Nah.

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Only in America

Donald Trump took time out from bashing his attorney general Jeff Sessions and making the Roseanne Barr racism storm all about himself to meet Kim Kardashian West and discuss the justice system!

You know, it’s been a while since my last Trump post ’cause it’s an every day circus and I got tired. But this is too good (for all wrong reasons) to ignore.

The fact that Kim Kardashian can have ANY influence on ANY White House decision is the epitome of the political and cultural degrade Trump is causing in that country.

Staff are going to have to fumigate after that trash administration is over!

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Another Pole dancer has joined the World!

After Kylie Jenner Kardashian named her baby after a stripper who fucked Trump, I fully expected Khloezilla to name her newborn baby something worst.

But instead of doing that, she brought on endless jokes by naming her poor baby True Thompson… Gladly for that baby her middle name is not “Dat”.

The baby’s name might be True, as True as the daddy’s dick is in someone else as we speak.

The kid’s nickname should be “Wishful Thinking,” because True is something that Tristan and his wandering cheating dick will never be to Khlozilla.

On the other hand… Is there a competition between them about who puts the most horrible name for their kids?

I’m only posting this because I”m tired, but I actually used to like Khloe when she was the free spirited one, the “black sheep” and free of body alterations and NBA players.

Regardless, that baby’s name it’s certainly better than North,Chicago, and Stormi.

You know, at least she didn’t name her Fidelity.

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