If you’re a bitter, mean ole’ bitch who hates humans and is the anti-Blanch DuBois because you’ve always defecated on the kindness of strangers, then meet your spirit sister Jessie, the parrot.
Jessie ran away from her human’s house in the city of Edmonton in England, because she’s a badass rebel who can’t be caged, unless well, her human puts her in a cage.
Jessie flew off to a neighbour’s roof where she stayed for three days and refused to leave. Since squatting on a house that doesn’t belong to you is illegal and Jessie’s human was afraid she’d get hurt, the fire brigade was called in to get her down.
But Jessie is no damsel in distress and let a trick know.
The London Fire Brigade said that when a firefighter got close to her and told her that he loved her, she at first responded that she loved him back. But either Jessie is a fickle one or she gets off on leading a dude on, because right after she told the firefighter he had her love, she cursed him out before flying to a new roof.
Jessie is pretty much you when a guy hits on you at the bar but doesn’t pay for your drink.
If that hot piece in a uniform climbed up to me and told me he’d love me, I’d tell him to fuck me and spray my flaming loins down with his hose. But that’s just me.
Jessie was eventually reunited with her human, who recorded a thank you video of her giving love to the firefighters.
You know how the mum of the asshole brat who bullied you would make ’em come over to your house and apologise to you in front of your mum?
That’s what that video reminds me of. Jessie doesn’t mean it!
Why do I have a feeling that Jessie will soon go missing again and the firefighters will find the words, “I lied. FUCK YOU!” Good girl Jessie. Fuck that enforced slavery!