Tag Archives: Movies

JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM

I watched this film over the weekend… One word: MEH!

The film was okay but not as entertaining as the previous one.

However, I’m taking this opportunity to bring to your attention the best thing of this movie, someone who honours the Hollywood cast with her presence, a magnificent actress playing a small role while being an IMMENSE LEGEND because she’s art herself.

She’s not commercial like Meryl Streep, but she’s also one of the greatest… Ladies & gentlemen, GERALDINE CHAPLIN!!

Yes Geraldine plays a very small role in this movie.

Now let’s have a moment of culture.

Geraldine Chaplin is a prolific actress of English, French, and Spanish (that’s why I know her) language films, and if her last name sounds familiar it’ because she is the fourth child of the legendary Charlie Chaplin.

She has appeared in a wide variety of critically recognised English, Spanish and French films and she was also a dancer and a model when she was young.

Geraldine was born in the United states but grew up in Switzerland, living in England, France and Spain. She made her debut as an actress in the 50’s but officially started her career in the 60’s and hasn’t stop ever since.

Geraldine is not only a legend but a true citizen of the world.

Anyhow, unlike Geraldine Chaplin, the movie wasn’t the best.

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The Aquaman trailer is Here

Here’s the trailer for his new flick which will doggy paddle into trailers this December.

Just in time for Christmas an underwater fap fantasy.

“Permission to come aboard”? Fuck yeah!

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The magnificent Jeff Goldblum statue in London

Yes, that pug is pregnant now!

When I first read this morning that a giant almost-shirtless Jeff Goldblum statue caused erections by getting erected in front of Tower Bridge in London, I tried to remember if I read about England suffering from a drought. Because the only reason I could think of for a giant almost-shirtless “Jeff Goldblum” statue is to cure a drought by summoning a million coochie geysers.

But CNET says that the statue of JG sensually lounging as Dr. Ian Malcolm, his Jurassic ParkJurassic Park character, is some marketing shit for the 25th anniversary of the movie.

CNET delivered the details of the statue, but they failed at delivering the details we care about, like how long that bulge is?

Just think of how much tongue gunk that nipple is going to get covered with from people climbing up to lick it? A new disease is going to sprout up thanks to that inviting Goldblum nip knob:

Anyway, it doesn’t really look like Jeff. But it’s all fun.

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Love, Simon

Since I fucked from Monday to Friday, I took the weekend off for myself. Working out, family, and catching up with movies.

Today I watched, Love, Simon.

I had been looking forward to this movie for a long time, but didn’t had the chance to watch it, or more accurately, didn’t have the guts to.

Since this is a romantic gay film, I knew it would make a bit blue because believe it or not, I’m a romantic guy. 

All the sex I have is just a consolation for the true relationship I miss. 

Love, Simon did not disappointed in the slightest. It was funny, heartfelt, and honest.

Nick Robinson is perfect in the role of Simon. He’s an extremely underrated actor. Josh Duhamel and Jennifer Garner were great as his parents! I loved the way this family was portrayed and it really made the movie work for me.

All the actors playing his friends did an excellent job. It kinda reminded of Mean Girls in the way the cast was perfectly put together in order to be memorable. And just like Mean Girls, this movie is an instant classic.

This film did not pull any punches and really struck everyone with its message.

Be who you are!!

Also, this film actually touched me… Probably because as a young gay guy (back in the days) I also experienced the fear, the coming out, the secret identity, the falling in love with someone I didn’t even know, and all the struggles associated to our sexuality. 

Too often we have these dry, emotionless comedies released that just want to get a few cheap laughs. This movie found a perfect balance of humour and emotion.

It gives exactly what we all want, an actual story with real engaging characters.

And maybe also, the feeling of wanting to fall in love again.

No matter what, announcing who you are to the world is pretty terrifying. But everyone deserves a great love story as well. 

I loved, love, Love, Simon! 

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Ant-Man and the Wasp

I went to the theatre to watch Ant-Man and the Wasp… two words: VERY GOOD!!

Ant-Man and the Wasp picks up in real time after the events of Captain America: Civil War, with Scott close to completing the two years of house arrest that were part of his deal to get out of prison.

Ant-Man is Marvel’s most underrated film in my opinion. 

The characters and the stories are fun and extremely entertaining. 

The beautiful Evangeline Lilly killed it as the Wasp! Hannah John-Kamen and Laurence Fishburne were also great in it. But that Sonny guy was just filler and the gorgeous Michelle Pfieffer was on screen for about ten minutes.

On the other hand, the end was totally unexpected…

After the movie I rushed home ’cause Hubby (one of my exes) came to help me do some work in my flat. Because we are a team, just like Ant-Men and the Wasp. 

In short, big things again come in small packages, and this film message regarding the importance of family and trusting your circle of real friends continues here in the most entertaining of ways. 10/10

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Dumbo

The teaser trailer for Tim Burton’s Dumbo is here and I’ve got to say, I forgot how much I love him. It’s so nice to have a Johnny Depp-less Burton film to look forward to.

As far as Disney live-action remakes go, this looks pretty dark. And that’s a good thing!

It’s not just the story of a cute elephant that can fly, but of animal cruelty.

The iconic movie Dumbo, released in 1941, was ahead of its time in showcasing how baby elephants (elephants: one of the world’s most intelligent animals, and empathetic beings) in circuses are torn away from their mothers, beaten into submission, and sentenced to a life in chains and boxcars when they aren’t being forced to perform dangerous tricks. 

Dumbo is a deeply disturbing story that’s ruined many a childhood and it deserves an equally disturbing, childhood ruining remake.

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The Girl In The Spider’s Web

I’ve never actually read any of the Stieg Larsson Millennium Series novels ’cause I’m not really into novels.

However, I watched the excellent 2009 original Swedish production of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, starring actual Swede Noomi Rapace, before Americans made the English version (’cause reading subtitles is hard, I can only assume) with Rooney Mara.

The Girl In The Spider’s Web is based on the 4th book in that series, but is actually the 5th movie to be made.

First there was The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, plus two follow ups The Girl Who Played With Fire and The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest, all with Noomi Rapace.

Now, this new production follows the American version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo with English actress Claire Foy as the main character (Lisbeth Salander)

In other words, it’s CONFUSING AF but it looks like my type of film.

I have no idea why did they skip the other two books, but although Claire looks great, and Rooney was brilliant… Lisbeth Salander = Noomi Rapace. Period!

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