Archives for posts with tag: Pay attention bitch!

Here’s the thing, I like Ariana Grande’s songs (several at least,) but she’s impossibly annoying. It’s like Gaga, she has good songs, but ugh! I can’t stand her. 

The details of her four-minute relationship with that guy whose name I can’t remember (Phil? Pip? Who the hell knows anymore) are already getting fuzzy, and I’m starting to recall that even though she’s technically a nymphomaniac Bratz Doll, she’s not so boring.

A month after breaking things off with Patch in October, Grande name-checked him in the single Thank U, Next, and now the official music video is out.

And it’s not so bad, specially because Troye Sivan is on it… which is the best thing!

Grande is a marketing guru, and if being a marketing guru overlaps with being a sex worker, then I’m cool with it.

The video pays homage to various teen comedies like (my favourite of all) Mean Girls. And also the rest, like, Bring It On, 13 Going On 30, and Legally Blonde.

In a time when even Miley Cyrus is so self-serious that she’s tackling gun violence in a music video, we need to appreciate when celebs can offer us something NOT SO SUPER SEXUAL/VULGAR/VIOLENT, and just fun.

In other words, she won me because, MEAN GIRLS!


Note to humans with annoying dogs who are always bothering them to do a physical activity like play fetch: sit them in front of the screen and get them to watch and learn from Bear.

Bear is from Napa, CA, and his human took a video of what he does whenever nobody is around (or is too damn lazy) to play fetch with him.

Bear pulls some level 10 only child geniusness by using the trampoline to play fetch. Bear puts the ball on the trampoline, gets under it, and then punches that shit with his nose until it bounces on to the ground and he can chase after it.

That trampoline and Bear are best friends!

It probably comes to life when nobody but Bear is around and they escape out of the background and solve crimes together. 

I salute Bear! Because my motto has always been: If nobody wants to play with you, play with yourself, bitch! And yes, I meant it like that.

This video from Reddit isn’t even half-a-minute-long, but for many Latinos, it sums up your entire teenhood years.

Two teenagers wanted to give the internet its 80,845,987th twerk show, so they positioned their twerkin’ butts in front of a webcam and twerked away.

But those amateurs fucked up and made a rookie mistake…

They didn’t wedge a chair under the doorknob so that mom couldn’t mess up their twerkin’ antics. EMBARRASSING!

Although, this chancleta-wielding twerk destroyer (the mom) is a pro, I bet she would’ve busted that door down in one swift move, and wouldn’t have let go of the laundry while doing so.

Not long after the girls tried to make it rain bitcoins with their twerkin’-for-the-internet moves, mom walked in and didn’t miss a beat when she pulled off her flip-flop and smacked the SUCIONESS out of those perras.

When it comes to chancleta slapping, this mom gets 10s all around.

She held firm onto that laundry, easily pulled off her weapon of choice, and perfectly busted out a walk-by-chancleta slappin’ before those girls could even realise the rage storm that was coming their way.

She came, she saw, she conquered with a chancla!

My pathetic blog is nothing but to laugh at my dumb self, but sometimes I feel the need to share relevant info and this is one of them. If you’re kinky and follow me, congratz!

This info may help you change your life, or simple keep you healthy.

As soon as you put a cigarette into your mouth, it starts killing your body. However, coughs and other warning signs often prove too mild to make smokers kick the habit.

Amanda Eller, a nurse from North Carolina, has shared a graphic comparison between healthy lungs and those of a heavy smoker. The difference is so eye-opening…

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), “[the] overall mortality among both male and female smokers in the United States is about three times higher than that among similar people who never smoked.”

Cigarettes cause about one of every five deaths in the States each year, killing more than 480,000 people annually. However, it’s never too late. For example, quitting smoking before 40 reduces the risk of dying from smoking-related disease by about 90%.

I am so glad I never started smoking by trying to mimic other or fit in any group.

Smoking to me is simply the most unattractive thing a person can do.

It’s NOT sexy, it’s NOT cool, but stinks and is disgusting.

You can put your mouth on a cigarette, and put your mouth on my asshole, and hands down my hole is a lot cleaner, taste better and has no smell whatsoever.

Not just vulgar words, but pure FACT!!!

Earth Day turns 48 today, April 22, and Google is celebrating it with a Google Doodle of conservationist Dr. Jane Goodall, who nudges us in a video to “do our part for this beautiful planet.”

Let’s commemorate Earth Day by looking at some of the things we learned about the Earth since the last Earth Day.

1) The plastic problem is even worse than we thought

One of the bleakest stories of the year so far was the report of a six-ton sperm whale washing up on the shores of southern Spain with 64 pounds of plastic in its stomach, a grotesque sign of the alarming rate at which we’re dumping plastics into the ocean.

2) We lost the last male Northern white Rhino

I’m obliged to revisit this Earth Day how many species we’ve lost forever.

In December, the US Fish and Wildlife Service declared the beaverpond marstonia, a tiny freshwater snail found in Georgia, to be extinct. The Center for Biological Diversity called it the first species declared extinct under the Trump administration, a consequence of water overuse for agriculture and pollution.

Also in the last year, the Christmas Island Pipistrelle, a bat found off the coast of Australia, was declared extinct. Three reptiles also went extinct on the island, including the chained gecko, the blue-tailed skink, and the whiptail skink, according to the International Union for the Conservation of Nature. Much of this is due to disease and predatory invasive species.

And some species are teetering on the brink of extinction. The last male Northern White Rhino, Sudan, died in March at the age of 45.

3) A few species have bounced back. And we discovered some brand new ones

The Black-eyed Leaf Frog hopped back from the edge of the abyss. It’s now been classified as a species of “least concern” after having been “critically endangered,” the last step before extinction.

Researchers reported this year that other tropical frog species, like the variable harlequin frog, are also bouncing back after a fungal epidemic drastically slashed their numbers.

The Chesapeake Bay’s striped bass has also rebounded to a healthy population.

4) Greenland’s ice is melting faster than we realised

We know the Earth is warming, but we saw several jarring examples over the past year of how quickly and dramatically this is playing out.

Earth’s polar regions are warming twice as fast as the average rate of the planet. NOAA scientists reported late last year that the Arctic losing ice at its fastest rate in at least 1,500 years.

If the entire Greenland ice sheet were to melt, it would raise global sea levels by more than 20 feet.

These examples show that the impacts of a changing climate aren’t always slow and gradual; global warming can push some phenomena to tipping points that lead to rapid, self-propagating changes.

We’re stuck with this planet and so let’s take care of it while we have the good fortune to be here. Do your part too. Happy Earth Day!

While taking a break from trying to steal baby’s milk and purring out a dusty relic of a song about being Siamese, two Siamese cats from Russia got themselves into a major, major problem as their human filmed it.

Each pussy started at the opposite end of the top of some entertainment unit-looking thing, and made their way across it. They eventually ran into each other and a real Nelly and Kelly Rowland song ensued.

They realised they were stuck. What to do? They could just live there forever. They could turn on each other and try to push one another to a possible death.

Or they could join forces and jump onto their human before attacking their human for recording their troubles instead of helping them. You’d think it would be the third one.

But those cats shocked us all by solving the problem with team work.

So those cunning pussies solved a problem without scratching each other’s eyes out, screaming at one another or destroying the other by leaking harmful into to the media?

Further proof that humans should NOT run the world!

Ethereal Austrian nightingale Conchita Wurst has decided to tell everyone (via Instagram) that she’s HIV-positive after an ex-boyfriend threatened to go public with the info.

In her post, she wrote in German, “Today is the day to free me from the sword of Damocles for the rest of my life: I have been HIV-positive for many years. This is actually irrelevant to the public, but an ex-boyfriend threatened me to go public with this private information and I will not give anyone the right to frighten me and influence my life in the future.” 

She added: “Since I received the diagnosis, I have been receiving treatment, and have been undetectable for many years, so I am not able to pass on the virus…Coming out on one’s own is better than being outed by someone else. I hope to fight against the stigmatization of people who have become infected by HIV, either through their own behavior or through no fault of their own. To my fans: the information about my HIV status may be new to you – my status is not! I’m well and stronger, more motivated and liberated than ever. Thank you for your support!”

I hope that what happened to Conchita brings awareness about how important sex education is! And the importance of protected sex.

Now, If there’s a hell under hell, then Conchita’s blackmailing ex-boyfriend just ended up on the list of its future residents for trying to hurt Jesus’ gorgeous twin sister.