Programming Note

I don’t have time for emotions today and YET here I am.

I just finished packing and my luggage is about to explode. This is hell!

For some reason I feel like I’m missing something, when all I ever need is:

  1. An orgasm
  2. Attention
  3. $50,000

I’m leaving to the airport soon and I’m not sure if I’d be able to blog the coming days, or ever again… I mean, hoping nothing go wrong (and I’m still alive) you’ll hear from me.

Otherwise, here are my last words:

To the men of my life

Hubby: I loved you yesterday, I love you still and I always will.
Bunny: From here to the moon and back, I adore you that much.
Justin: You and I, one day, will fall in love again.
Joseph: No one misses you more than I. You marked me for life.
PatrickA: I know the song that makes you think of me. And you also mean all that to me.
Xavier: If there ever comes a day that we can’t be together, keep in your heart, you’ll be in mine forever.
My current lovers: Thank you!

This song is for all of you:

If I don’t come back give my stuff to the less fortunate, all my porn/sex toys to those who need a smile in their soul and my paintings to whoever appreciate my sad work.

Oh! One last word to my boss and to Revenu Quebec: FUCK YOU!

Take care you guys!

The Exception?

You known, when I met my first ex-fuckfriend 5 years ago I thought it would be only him and no one else…

We liked each other and had great sexy times, but at some point he developed feelings and that’s when I lost him.

And like him, many of my next ex-fuckfriends between relationships.

Back then I was an awesome top, but mostly, I was a guy who treat them right, like people, and not just like holes for me to satisfy my needs.

I believe that was the reason why the majority of them felt too much eventually, which in this new society it’s NOT a good thing because people are scare of feelings but not of STI’s.

But there’s always an exception to the rule, and Joseph was that exception.

We started as sexmates also, but unlike the rest he was not scare of feelings and our affair evolved into something stronger, so we became 1.

After our breakup a couple of years later, I met few other guys and they also became something extra. PatrickA was the last one.

Then Xavier came in the picture and after him everything changed.

My fuckfriends now are not longer bottoms but tops, and although they please me sexually they don’t please me emotionally, and by that I mean I feel no attachments of any kind whatsoever. Also, I cannot rely on them because younger guys think with their dick and not with their brain, so for that reason I have few at the same time and not just only one as I used to.

That being said, Cédrik was very affectionate last night and he texted me few times today, which is sweet but also confusing.

Cédrik is pretty hot, he’s physically and sexually boyfriend material from head to toe but… now… I AM the scare one!

Letting go of Xavier was very hard and I don’t wanna go trough all of that emotional shit again. See, I’m 90 year-old and my poor heart can’t handle that stuff anymore. Also, I’m going on vacations next week so cannot start a romance right now. Bad timing. 

Anyway, the Montreal Gay Pride started this week so he’ll find someone else to get busy with, it’s cool.  

And although he could be the exception, more 20 year-olds will come and go just like the hickey he left on my neck last night… Well, let’s hope!

Quick Update

Sorry for not updating as much but I had an overwhelming weekend and Monday at work and all I wanted was to sleep. Which I did! 

I fought with my stupid boss again because he’s an asshole and I don’t take shit from anyone, so I haven’t had the best days… But anyway, it’s over!I cannot wait to go on vacations, leave all behind and forget everything and everyone.

Other than that not much excitement going, or more accurately I was not in the best mood for it… Until today that I’m off at last!

So, Minh texted me last night, and Randy and Cedrik this morning… So hopefully I’ll see any of them or someone else later on ’cause nothing says day off like unloading the stress on a hot man.

… And it looks like that man will be Cedrik.

Yeah, I’m definitely decompressing tonight! 

COUNTDOWN

As my 1st birthday present I got my plane tickets to South America.

Unlike my latest getaways, this time my excitement relies on the idea of seeing my beloved relatives and not some hot island sex at some tropical beach on the Caribbean. I know… What’s wrong with me!!!

I truly have no idea how am I going to handle 2 weeks without sex, but my straight boys better be ready to turn off my flames because I’ll be back muy caliente!

Now, I don’t have a strong attachment to my motherland (picture above) but going back to the roots of your essence is always a good thing… And God knows how bad I need to find myself again.

I’m very excited to see everyone actually, specially my cousins in Santa Cruz. So, I’ll be leaving in 11 days at 8 AM from Montreal to Miami, and then Miami to Lima arriving at 10 PM.

Then I’ll stayed in Lima for about 12 hours to visit my paternal grandparents and then head to the airport again to take another plane to Santa Cruz (another 3 hours flight) where I’ll stay most of my trip. On my way back I’ll be staying in Lima 2 days with another of my brilliant cousins before coming back to Montreal.

I don’t know if I should bring my laptop, just the idea of going through the US customs at the airport and then the other two airports in South America stresses me out and I don’t wanna carry much stuff.

On the other hand I have 10 days left to get extra fit, which means I need to starve myself in 3, 2, …  ugh! I’m hungry already. FAIL! 

I Don’t Think So

Minh came to eat me out last night, I was overdue for sex and he was the one I chose.

Although my other sexmates also satisfy me, between Minh and I there’s something else… A bit more affinity perhaps?

Minh is an intelligent guy, and unlike the others (who are nothing more than a penis) I value his brain.

We can discuss any topic, he’s educated (he’s an accountant and his father is a doctor,) and reasonable. In fact from moments he reminds me a little bit of PatrickA, but without being a nerd or an athlete.

So, after ejaculating and back to our 5 senses we had a talk…

He asked me if we should make it exclusive, and I took few seconds before refusing… He seemed surprised by my answer but I told him that exclusivity is reserved for a boyfriend or a date, not for a casual sex.

What’s the point to commit to someone who only wants to fuck you and nothing else? Exclusive ME is for UNDAUNTED you!!! 

I like Minh, but like many out there he is not so tenacious in this area.

And yeah, I can be a filthy super puta slut but only for my man.

So I guess he understood.

Super Spoiled

The chances I spend my birthday somewhere else are at 95% now, and I’m actually very excited about it. 

My excitement has to do mostly because I’m going to visit my cousins (which are like siblings/best friends) and assorted relatives in two South American countries.

The last time I fllew to South America was 12 years ago and I haven’t seen many of my relatives ever since.

My cousins (mostly women) adore me, I was the only boy in the family when we were kids and to this day I’m very spoiled. The majority of my cousins are also wealthy so they’re planing a party and plenty of stuff for my arrival…

Some asked me what I want on my menu, what I want as a present, got me already a gym, a massage therapist, a driver, and whatever else I wish… I feel like Aladdin with his magic lamp.

By far, the plan is that I take my plane from Montreal on the 17th (August) to arrive to my motherland on the 18th and take another plane on the 19th to my final destination for my birthday party.

Now the idea of seeing many people (uncles, aunts and cousins and husbands) at the same place kind of makes me anxious, but not super uncomfortable. After all they are people I love, so I guess in my head the joy to be around them is stronger than my social anxiety disorder.

I haven’t feel this happy in a while, well… sex makes me super happy also, but this is different. So, YAY!

The Good Side Of Bad Things

Been buys and too tired to update. Sorry.

So, something unexpected happened over the weekend… my boss refused my demand for vacations on December.

See, unlike the rest of humanity I prefer to take vacations during autumn or winter because my destination is usually spring or summer somewhere else in the world.

Since that prick doesn’t wanna let me go on December I asked vacations for next month, specifically near my birthday’s date. And surprisingly, he accepted.

I never cared about my bday (there’s nothing fun on getting old) but since I’m turning 40 I thought maybe I should do something different.

Usually, I spend it with my boyfriend (the big plan) and also I let my ex’s spoil me, but since I’m single this year (so far) I don’t really have a big plan.

I’m sure Hubby will take me out when he comes back from Hong Kong (as he always does it,) Bunny will call me or give me a present (as usual too,) and the last time I saw Xavier we talked about doing something, but he is not in Montreal right now and I don’t want to annoy him with my stuff.

So… Maybe I’ll leave the country!

It will depend if I can find reasonable prices for my first destination, otherwise I have plan B. But if nothing works I’d better get fucked by someone hot that day ’cause only that will make for a HAPPY birthday.

In short, there’s always a good side on everything. Even the bad.