Tag Archives: Sports

SHAMEFUL

Naomi Osaka became the first Japanese tennis player to win a grand slam. It happened in the strangest of ways.

In the finals at the US Open, the 20-year-old Osaka defeated 36-year-old Serena Williams mainly with a commanding display of precociousness that is most reminiscent of, well, Serena Williams.

But Naomi’s victory was overshadowed and perhaps even sealed by a series of violations called against Serena, who had a warning, a point penalty, and then a game penalty called against her, taking the score in the second set from 4-3 to 5-3 with Osaka in the lead.

Serena received the warning for getting coaching from her box, and the point penalty for breaking her racquet. After she approached the umpire demanding an apology and insisting she didn’t cheat. She called the umpire a thief who “stole” a point from her… 

The whole thing was a mess.

Although Serena has a point about the sexism (because men said lots of things as well, but don’t get penalised) she also tends to forget that she’s a champion and an inspiration to many. Instead of breaking shit, her approach to injustice should be more intelligent. 

The drama dampened the Grand Slam title win for her opponent, who idolises Serena and cried on the podium as she was awarded the cup to boos from the stands.

Naomi didn’t deserve this reaction. She won fair and square!

I love Serena, but she spoiled the final. And that crowd was an embarrassment.

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Legend in a Tutu

After the French Open banned Serena Williams’ catsuit for not being respectful of the game, she came out onto the court at the US Open in a tutu and some fishnets and performed the Pas de IllShowYouHos while winning her match.

The tutu look comes on the heels of comments from Bernard Giudicelli, the president of the French Tennis Federation, that the French Open would ban catsuits after Williams wore one during the 2018 tournament. Williams had stated that the “Black Panther”-inspired suit was helpful in preventing blood clots after she had a pulmonary embolism after giving birth to her daughter.

Giudicelli said catsuits “will no longer be accepted,” according to The Associated Press

“One must respect the game and the place,” he said. 

To which Serena responded: “FUCK YOU stinky French prick” in her wonderful tutu.

Serena Williams is the greatest athlete and tennis player of all time. 

She’s gonna kick your ass wearing a catsuit, a tutu or a unicorn horn.

Let her dress however she wants, she brings enough money and people to a sport that would otherwise bore most to tears. But the fact is, if Maria Sharapova had worn a catsuit or a tutu NO ONE would have said shit.

So, suck it up bastards!!!

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God’s favorite pitcher

Sister Mary Jo, known to her students at Marian Catholic High School in Chicago Heights, IL as “Sister MoJo,” was invited by the Chicago White Sox to throw out the first ceremonial pitch at their game on Saturday.

The students of Sister MoJo, who teaches theology, have already known about her greatness for years, but the world found out about her greatness on Saturday when she showed up and showed out at Guaranteed Rate Field (capitalism, thy name is Guaranteed Rate Field) by busting out a little elbow trick before throwing what people who know more about baseball than I do say was an “impressive” pitch.

The eyeballs of the saints and angels in heaven blew out of their skulls from trying to follow that fast ball. The wind from that ball travelled all the way to Vatican City and knocked the Papa tiara right off of The Pope’s head:

If the Catholic church should ever crumble from all the non-stop priest pedophilia (yeah, right), Sister MoJo has a career in pitching to fall back on.

Many Catholics don’t believe in reincarnation, but this should change their minds, because the reincarnation of Cy Young has been found!

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CHAMPIONS DU MONDE

A hilariously wild and ragged World Cup final concluded with a 4-2 victory for France, after a chaotic first half marked by a pair of dumb goals for France, and a second half marked by a Pussy Riot field invasion.

A sweet move down the right side early in the second half from one true wonderteen Kylian Mbappé led to some chaos in front of net, with Paul Pogba taking a couple cracks from distance, including a second one that turned into a goal.

France played well, but in my opinion Crotia played better. Sadly the winner is the one who score the most and France did it. However, after this world cup I’m a Croatian fan for life!

Own goal, badass strikes, hand ball PKs, and randos storming the field. This game had literally everything. Including French President Emmanuel Macron and Croatian President Kolinda Grabar-Kitarović.

And a dose of virtual social issues…

Regardless, congratulations to both France and Croatia, particularly Croatian god Luka Modric who was named the best player at the World Cup. 

They’re all my heroes and they should be so proud of themselves.

On the other hand, Russia was an excellent host. Allez les bleus!!

Qatar 2022, see you there! 

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Belgium Claim Third Place

Today the World Cup ends and it’s a sad day for all football fans of the world.

Yesterday The Red Devils of Belgium (wearing yellow) defeated The Three Lions of England 2-0 in The World Cup third place match. A game for the history.

Well done England. Well done Belgium. It’s time for both to go home.

Congratulations to Belgium on making World Cup history.

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England Coming Home… Without the Cup

The bracket was on their side, the memes were on their side, and even the sport, a creation of their very own, appeared to be in favour of the Brits.

Unfortunately for them, football won’t be coming home, because Croatia beat England in their World Cup semifinal today by a score of 2-1.

3 words: CRO FUCKING ATIA

Congratulations to Croatia on getting to their first World Cup final!

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Adieu à la Belgique

Among the 22 players on the pitch during yesterday’s World Cup semifinal that pit France against Belgium, there were a solid half dozen capable of explosive, awe-inspiring feats of greatness. Unfortunately, none of them were able to do anything terribly explosive or awe-inspiring, so France’s 1-0 win to send them to the World Cup final wasn’t as entertaining as it could’ve been.

Regardless, France won. So, Vive la France!!

Now, Belgium may not go to the finale, but I have so much respect for these guys, who have fought as real Red Devils. They came really far, further than anyone could have expected.

Teams defeated as England and Brazil, players who were better than ever and team that started to believe in a real chance at the World Cup. I’m soooo proud of the Red Devils.

Merci les Diables rouges de nous avoir fait vibrer de la sorte. La tristesse est immense, elle s’accompagne de larmes, mais aussi d’une immense fierté. MERCI!

On the other hand… Let an underdog team win The World Cup.

CROATIA, I’m rooting for you!!!

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