Tag Archives: Sure Dude

Crayola Beauty

Do you remember trying to draw all over your face with pen, paints, and crayons?

You can now relive those childhood moments (without being scolded) with the new Crayola beauty makeup collection.

Launched earlier this week and available exclusively on ASOS, the 58-part collection features colourful face crayons, mascaras, eyeshadows, highlighters, and more boxed inside the brand’s iconic yellow and green packaging.

And if that wasn’t awesome enough, all of the products are cruelty-free and vegan!

Pretty cute! 

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Today is Cinco de Mayo, a day only Mexicans and Americans care about because is the day when many drunk American messes use the excuse of “celebrating Mexico’s independence” (which is actually celebrated on September 16) to put on a sombrero from a dollar store and a stick-on “fiesta” moustache from Walmart while drinking tequila in honour of a country they can’t care less.

Cinco de Mayo is also an excuse to a much more relevant thing from Mexico… Yeah, that picture may look like a promo shot for a gay porn parody of It (where they all play Peenywise), but it’s actually a promo shot for Wapayasos, a troupe of shirtless clowns who are battling against child obesity in Mexico.

Michelle Obama, who?!!!

Wapayasos was put together in Guadalajara by a group of hot young pieces who are concerned about the child obesity rates in Mexico. They performed at children’s parties, but found worldwide internet FAME earlier this year when a video of them shaking their muscle nipples while singing about a mango.

Now, the Mexican accent turns me off big time, but I wish I was the parent of a fatty so that I could book Wapayasos for an educational party in my living room to educate me on the importance of eating healthy by humping the air with their crotch salchichas.

After Wapayasos and their bare nipples hit the eyes of the internet, the gays and peen-loving ladies ate them up. Wapayasos did events at gay clubs and bachelorette parties, and continued to give us fap-worthy gifts like this scene straight out of the Scientology Celebrity Centre bathhouse gym.

Twerk those asses to that Scooby Doo song, Wapayasos!

Songs for the children but shirtless for the moms… and some dads.

The real spirit of this day!

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This list influence my bowel movement

I’m not exactly sure what Tiffany Haddish has done other than presenting at the FlOpscars few months ago, but she is definitely not Isabelle Adjani or Fan Bingbing influential type.

However, she’s snagged a spot on Time’s 100 “Most Influential People’s” list, along with Cardi B (who?) Nicole Kidman, Christian Siriano, Lena Waithe, JLo (whatever!) Prince Harry, Meghan Markle (what has she done of note besides marry a prince?) Rihanna, and Janet Mock.

Am I the only one saying “Who?” and “Dear God!” to most of this list?

Truly, this list is a sad reflection of both Time mag and society overall if most of these people are what’s considered “influential” nowadays.

Why didn’t they give the cover to the Parkland students? 

 I’d rather watch paint dry than read this ridiculous magazine.

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Not All Canvas look like Art

Future Hillsong cult suicide casualty Justin Bieber was able to convey the essence of a serial killer’s ransom note made of cut out magazine letters in a new Facebook post about his tattoos.

In case you haven’t been keeping up, he has a lot of them, and if you like Big Brother, Teen Mom, or white trash airbrushed Pigeon Forge t-shirts, you’re going to be wowed by Bieber’s ink.

It’s patriotic and religions and all around just lets the world know that Bieber’s mental state is deteriorating and that he’s careening towards death.

This week Bieber took to Facebook to defend destroying his body with:

“If tattooed didn’t hurt everyone would have them. Well maybe not very one!!Over a hundred hours of hart work on my body and I wouldn’t take back a single one.. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE ART AND IVE MAde my body a canvas and it’s SO MUCH FUN”

Over hundred hours of HART?? And I thought my English spelling was terrible…

Remember those rumors that he and Selena Gomez were fucked up on meth twenty-four-seven? Well now we know those aren’t true. This Bieber statement is reading more like the product of meth AND cocaine!! But to say something nice, he actually creates better songs than many of his contemporaries.

On personal note, I’m glad I never did anything too extreme like those tattoos while been a top ’cause I don’t think  straight guys would have wanted to fuck me looking like a douchebag.

“Jokes” aside, is it really patriotic when a Canadian gets a tattoo of an eagle?

Errr, nevermind, we don’t want him back!!

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Speaking Of Hookers…

It’s not exactly news that Canadian panty creamer Ryan Reynolds is HOT AF, and American Olympian Gus Kenworthy is one thirsty hooker. 

That pretty much sums up the following post.

The 26 yo Olympian has a habit of publicly hitting on male celebrities.

Last month he did a Craigslist Missed Connections post aimed at Ricky Martin and Jwan Yosef.

This month his target is Deadpool himself.

Upon learning that Reynolds started following him, Kenworthy jokingly stated Reynolds owes him some “mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.” 

I have to say, I love Gus’ public thirst tweets. 

I also love the fact he’s into older guys ’cause that makes me qualify.

Dude is so my type!!

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Trump: April Is Sexual Assault Awareness Month

The New York Daily News reports:

President Trump is getting a jump start on April Fools’ Day. Without a hint of irony, Trump announced Friday that next month will be dedicated to “sexual assault awareness and prevention.”

Trump, who has been accused of sexual misconduct by nearly two dozen women, said in a presidential proclamation that sex crimes remain “tragically common in our society”  and “offenders too often evade accountability.”

Okay… At this point, he’s just trolling EVERYONE!

But in all seriousness, we’re already aware that HE IS a sexual predator.

April should be Total Lack Of Self-Awareness month, instead.

Anyhow, in honour of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, this is for the women who live around the White House…

Be careful out there! 

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Jesus Did It, So You Don’t Have To

First of all, I was raised catholic (if you haven’t recognise the level of cool) but I’m not insane.

So, apparently some Roman Catholic hos in the Philippines literally crucify themselves for Good Friday on an annual display of WTFs faith that draws thousands of morbid sluts spectators from around the world.

Religious and civic leaders aren’t fond of the practice, however.

The health department discouraged anyone from actually driving nails through their hands and feet in the first place… Elsewhere in the Philippines, devoted flagellants spent Good Friday whipping themselves the old-fashioned way…

As a catholic with some common sense and love thy neighbour, I believe this is very fucked up! But, all good old-religions are based on fucked up magical stories after all…

You’re welcome Philosophy. You too Science!

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