Archives for posts with tag: True Story Bro

My job keeps me away from the world way too much and I just found out that Karl Lagerfeld, one of the most prolific and influential fashion designers in history, died tuesday morning in Paris. He was 85.

There are some things we just know are going to stay on this earth forever, like pollution, stds, Betty White, and up until this morning, Karl Lagerfeld. 

I grew up loving fashion, and the 90’s and early 2000’s were amazing. Mugler, Gaultier, Miyake, McQueen and of course Legerfeld were part of those memories.

Late in life when he got skinny he also became a cunt, spitting venom left and right, but his hate was kinda fun. Karl didn’t only make a major mark on fashion, he made a major mark on messiness too.

Kunty Karl has long been known for the nuggets of foolery that effortlessly fell out of his mouth.

Here’s some other pure Kunty Karl quotes:

On short men: “The worst is ugly short men. Women can be short, but for men it is impossible. It is something that they will not forgive in life – to be born short. I have never been friends with a short man in my life. Don’t trust them; they are mean, and they want to kill you.”

On tattoos: “I think tattoos are horrible. It’s like living in a Pucci dress full-time. If you’re young and tight, maybe it’s OK, but…”

On ugly people:  “I hate ugly people. Very depressing.”

On Russian men: “If I was a woman in Russia I would be a lesbian, as the men are very ugly. There are a few handsome ones, like Naomi Campbell’s boyfriend, but there you see the most beautiful women and the most horrible men.”

On sweatpants: “Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants.”

Oh Karl, that quote on sweatpants is SOOOO TRUE!

On the other hand, I hope you don’t reincarnate as a pair of sweatpants sold at Wal-Mart, to be bought and worn by a tattooed short fatty who will never wash them but… Karma is a bitch. 

Jokes aside, Karl Lagerfeld was a superstar!

Even PornHub paid homage to him:

Rest In Fabulousness Karl!

And condolences to Choupette, his cat (and only soul he ever loved).

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A story about a corgi sneaking out of his home to ride a one-eyed pony down the way might sound like some interspecies porn, but this is a G-rated story of down-low friendship.

Who knows how long the secret love between Roper and Cricket has been going on, but one night, a human named Callie Schenker returned to her farm in Missouri and caught them in the act, and immediately pulled out her phone and got video proof of a corgi riding her pony.

Callie tells The Dodo that at first, she had no idea how Roper got on top of Cricket and doesn’t know how long the late-night riding has been going on.

When Callie posted the video to Facebook and it went viral, some pony-riding-corgi haters refused to believe and were practically getting the ASPCA on her ass by accusing her of tying Roper to Cricket. 

Earlier this week, Callie got some proof that she didn’t put Roper on Cricket and tie the dog to her one-eyed pony (who is a one-eyed pony because he lost his eye in an accident seven months ago). Callie was inside when she heard noises, and when she looked out, she saw Roper trying to jump on Cricket. This is definitely what it looks like when Kevin Hart tries to mount his wife.

Someone show this to Her Majesty the Queen. It perfectly combines her two loves: Corgis and Horses. Too cute!

Canada Flag Day was yesterday but as you know, I was not near my laptop at all. However, as a proud Canadian, I had to mention this day.

According to the Government of Canada’s website, Flag Day is about celebrating “a symbol that unites all Canadians and reflects the common values we hold so dear — equality, diversity and inclusion.”

Canada has only had its current flag for 54 years. The process for choosing the flag was a long and interesting one, and it did end up being chosen unanimously by Parliament.

The official flag was raised for the first time on February 15, 1965. 

Our flag means many things to many people.

Peace and prosperity to some, diversity and inclusion to others. But what unites us is the fact that is home.

HAPPY CANADA FLAG DAY / JOYEUX JOUR DU DRAPEAU! 

As the United Kingdom’s premier postal serviceRoyal Mail knows that stamps are more than just a way to pay for postage.

To add a touch of creativity to snail mail, the carrier regularly releases stamps adorned with all sorts of art, most recently, Royal Mail has sent their artsy stamps back in time, opting to decorate them with art by Renaissance artist Leonardo da Vinci.

This series of Leonardo da Vinci stamps comprises 12 pieces by the artist. Rather than showcase widely-known paintings like The Last Supper or the Mona Lisa, Royal Mail decided to feature a selection of drawings by the artist.

Though less famous than their painterly counterparts, these pieces including sfumato portraits, anatomical studies, and botanical sketches that are among some of Leonardo’s most groundbreaking contributions to art history.

What makes these stamps even more special is their timing. Intended to mark the 500th anniversary of the artist’s death, their circulation coincides with a nationwide celebration, Leonardo da Vinci: A Life in Drawing.

Just perfect! 

Maher has the gift to make their tragedy fun.

The Hill reports:

Ann Coulter fired back at President Trump on Friday, stating that “the only national emergency is that our president is an idiot” in a radio interview on Friday afternoon. Coulter was responding to Trump’s comment earlier on Friday calling out the conservative firebrand as being “off the reservation.” He made the remark during a press conference at the White House after he declared a national emergency on the southern border.

“Thank God he’s relieved me of any responsibility for what he’s been doing,” Coulter told KABC’s Morning Drive on Friday. “That was the biggest favor anyone could do [for] me today. It was one thing, the promise he made every single day at every single speech. Forget the fact that he’s digging his own grave,” Coulter added. “The only national emergency is that our president is an idiot.”

Hitler declared a state of emergency and suspended the constitution.

And here’s another fact…

I find myself agreeing with this hag for the first time!

I was supposed to blog more stuff few days ago, and wish all a happy Valentine’s Day, but my job got in my way. My schedule is not stable and I worked long hours, usually until night time, like these past few days, and on Valentine’s Day.

In fact, that night I worked with my boss, who happens to be a girl, and I got to know her more… She told me she never had a long-term relationship, but that she’s not the romantic type either.

She’s very serious looking and can be intimidating; and by the look of her face you could assume she’s a bitter unhappy woman, but I realised that the focus of her life is being stressed at work.

Seems like she’s the type of person who’s more dedicated to her job than to her soul.

Anyway, all that to say, I don’t have and don’t want stress in my life. And I don’t see myself working in that place for too long. Maybe some more months, but that’s about it.

Now back to Valentine’s… This year was the first time in my life that I didn’t do anything ’cause usually I have someone to spend it with. But I guess at this point there’s nothing left of the old me.

On the sweet side, Hubby (one of my exes) promised to take me out as soon as our timing match. And on the naughty side, I had sex with some random hookup because Marc changed our date for fucking and I was not in the mood to wait another day. It was VALENTINE’S okay?!

So, I got from me to me this little present:.

Coup De Foudre, Clichés Et Autres Atrocités, a small fiction about a couple’s relationship… Ideal for when you don’t have one, or at least to realise yours is much better, or not.

Happy belated Valentine’s Day, guys.