Just like that Saint George statue and, of course, the legendary fucked-up beauty Ecce Homo, a statue in Spain has gotten a glamorous makeover and was taken from “bland basic bitches” to stunningly gorgeous cholita ravers.
The artist responsible for splattering layers of neon charisma and beauty onto Mary, Jesus, and St. Anne is María Luisa Menéndez, a tobacco shop owner in the teeny tiny village of El Rañadorio in northwestern Spain.
The 15th century statues live in a shrine in the village’s chapel. They were professionally restored 15 years ago, but The Guardian says that María Luisa felt like they needed a fresh summer look and got permission from the parish priest to do it.
So Salvador Dali’s long-lost cousin pulled out the finest paints money can buy (read: cheap ass preschool paints) and spent 18 hours a day for three years (read: probably 15 minutes total) painstakingly glamour-ing Mary, Jesus, and St. Anne.
Mary, Jesus, and St. Anne are probably up in heaven right now, touching up their exquisite brows with a Sharpie while saying, “FINALLY, somebody captured us in our true form!”
But jokes aside, when I found the article online I thought it was about some plastic nativity from the 80s, not realising it was a WOODEN statue from 600 years ago!