Archives for posts with tag: WTF

HBO’s Chernobyl  has sparked interest in the nuclear power plant disaster and the ghost town it created. And of course, that newfound attention has brought out attention whores who will shamelessly use a tragedy as an opportunity to show their ass in more ways that one.

Influencers are using the site of Chernobyl as a backdrop to display their sexiness. Next up: topless oxygen mask photo shoots at the 9/11 museum!

As a child who grew terrified of Chernobyl I can’t wrap my head around this. I don’t know what the air quality is like now but I remember thinking you breathed it in the 80’s or 90’s you would grow an extra eye (like the fish from the Simpsons).

Chernobyl was a horror.

The idea that people now think it’s cool to show their toned butts while wearing hazmat suit is…confusing.

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Influencers, listen, there are so many ways to show your asses but please for the love of everything holy if you are in a hazmat suit on a tragic historical site, don’t show your ass. Even if you think it will cheer up the place. Even is your thong matches the hazmat suit. Just leave that hazmat suit zipped and keep it moving.

This foolery got back to show creator Craig Mazin and he sent out a tweet asking people to stop the madness.

The selfish generation. It is all about “me” and any attention.

But truly, can’t we just encourage them to MOVE to Chernobyl long term? I feel like this is a win/win situation here…

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Cat lovers are having a tough month with the passing of Grumpy Cat and now with the sudden death of Leo. In case you didn’t know (and how dare you,) Leo the cat was the up and coming star of the new Pet Sematary movie. 

These untimely cat deaths are concerning. Garfield (who is definitely real and living) better stay the fuck away from Odie this month cause things are getting weird in the cat celebrity business.

According to People

Leo the cat, who played Church in this year’s Pet Sematary remake, died mysteriously just weeks after the film’s release, his trainer Kirk Jarrett announced on Thursday.

So sad, first Grumpy Cat and now him…

Please God protect Mustache Cat!

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It always breaks my heart to hear of domestic animals passing before their time. I’m sure his co-stars were all sick with jealousy over his superior acting skills.

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RIP sweet little fuzzums.

Because making a billion dollars off of basic-ass mall makeup wasn’t enough for Ky-LIE Jenner (read KarTrashian,) she went ahead and launched a basic-ass skin care line.

And it’s a bit of a mess! Which surprised no one.

The internet called Ky-LIE out for using cheap skin-damaging walnut particles in her facial scrub. The internet called Ky-LIE out for possibly faking positive reviews. And now the internet is calling her out for a laughably bad facial cleansing demonstration.

Ky-LIE tweeted a short video of herself using the Ky-LIE Skin foaming facial cleanser.

Ky-LIE, with one of those childish (and disturbing on adults) Snapchat filter on her face squirts out some product, then proceeds to wash her face for a whole seven seconds before rinsing it off.

As she dries her face, a huge makeup smear can be seen on her towel.

I think it’s amazing that Ky-LIE has any fans at all considering that her old face is ALL OVER THE INTERNET. She’s fake through and through.

With the industrial amounts of makeup she uses, she needs WAY more than a pump of wimpy foam and two splashes of water to remove all that warpaint. Also, those nightmare fingernails and wig are the cherry on top of the fuckery.

Seriously, that “cleansing” routine is so lazy and indifferent it could’ve written the Game of Thrones finale!

There is not one single thing that is real about ANY of the Katrashians. 

Six years ago, the eyes of the internet were dusted with shards of glitter when we all watched the Prancercise unicorn, Joanna Rohrback, prance like an uppity gay stallion prancing past their haters. And today, we get knocked over by another equine wonder, but this one is all athletic and shit.

Some horse girls grow up to be annoying blond pop stars who actually never grow up (see: Taylor Swift) and some horse girls grow up to become horses in the body of a human woman, like Ayla Kirstine! 

Ayla Kirstine has gone viral in Germany (“gone viral in Germany” is the new “I’m famous in Germany“) thanks to social media videos of her galloping around like Tarzan if Tarzan got raised by Seabiscuit’s relatives instead of great apes.

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When I first saw that video, I reached for the BenGay (which becomes BenGayer as soon as I slather it on my body), because my old back and joints started to hurt. Then I wondered if this was a fetish.

It’s definitely a fetish… A creepy one!

USA Today reports:

Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey signed a near-total abortion ban Wednesday, putting in place one of the nation’s most restrictive laws on the procedure and all but guaranteeing legal challenges. The governor had been quiet about her intentions after the Alabama Senate gave final legislative approval to the bill Tuesday night.

“To the bill’s many supporters, this legislation stands as a powerful testament to Alabamians’ deeply held belief that every life is precious and that every life is a sacred gift from God,” Ivey said in a statement issued on Wednesday afternoon, a statement that also noted the law may be “unenforceable” amid the likely filing of lawsuits against it.

Even God hates it when his name is used to justify nonsense.

Each day that I read news from America, I cannot be more grateful to be Canadian and live in a First World progressive country where women has the right and freedom to chose what’s best for her.

Canada is a secular country, so we don’t have this type of issues where politicians mix up religions and faith. They keep that at home and rule the country with COMMON SENSE!!!

On the other hand, Gov. Kay Ivey is the same person who said she would support Roy Moore because he was the republican candidate even though she said she believed the victims.

Ivey was willing to put a pedo in office just because he’s republican… The double standards of morals is nauseating.

If life is so precious give Americans healthcare, ban guns, etc.

But yeah they won’t! Life is not so precious after all.

If you took American history in high school, you definitely learned that when Florida legislature was deciding what their state motto should be in the 1860s, “We Eat Ass!”, was on the short list, but sadly, it ultimately lost to “In God We Trust.”

But some officials don’t know their state’s own history because an ass eating activist named Dillon Shane Webb, was wrongly arrested for declaring his love of tossing that salad!

The Lake City Reporter says that on Sunday at 5:50pm in Lake City, FL, a deputy noticed an “I Eat Ass” sticker stuck to the rear window (Dillon should’ve stuck it to the bumper aka the ass of a car) of a brown Chevy truck.

The deputy should’ve thrown the driver, 23-year-old Dillon Shane Webb, a thumbs up for doing Florida proud, but instead, that not-knowing deputy pulled him over to knock the b-hole out of his rim job-loving mouth.

The deputy, who is truly protecting the city from real crime, told Dillon that his sticker violated a state statute I didn’t know was possible for Florida to have. It’s a statue on the possession and distribution of obscene material. Dillon told the deputy that the sticker is just “words” and when he was asked how he’d explain it to a child, he pretty much shrugged:

The deputy asked Webb how “a parent of a small child would explain the meaning of the words,” to which Webb replied that it would be “up to the parent,” the report states.

That’s easy! A parent just has to say, “Honey, when a man and a butt are in love with each other….” Or just tell the kid the man loves eating ground Eeyore meat.

The deputy hit Dillon with a notice to appear in court on May 23. The rim job-hating deputy also demanded that Dillon remove an “s” in “ass” to censor the sticker, and when he refused on the argument that it’s his First Amendment right to declare his love of butt munching, he was arrested with resisting. He was taken down to a detention centre and was later released on $2,500 bond.

JESUS!!! Are Americans really THAT idiotic???

Gladly the dumb charges were dropped!

Seriously, Americans have to explain Donald Trump being their President to their children. What’s a little ass eating in comparison?

Dillon Shane Webb is truly the Gandhi and Nelson Mandela of ass eating.

My ass cheeks are slow clapping for him for choosing the ass eating hill as the hill he wants to die on (and eat if that hill looks like an ass).

CROCS FANNY PACKS…

If you can hear over the sound of my heaving, you’ll hear the demons of Hell clapping as Satan takes a bow for outdoing himself.

Balenciaga, Christopher Kane, and Post Malone all got luxury suites in Hell’s Special Place named after them for doing Satan’s work by spreading the horrifying virus known as CROCS.

And Japanese fashion brand Beams is about to get their own luxury suite in Hell’s Special Place named after them too, because they have made a fanny pack for Crocs.

To think, fanny packs used to be the epitome of raw sex and one sight of them would make panties drop. Throw them on some Crocs, and they still make panties drop, but only because the sight of them makes people want to drop a shit in disgust!

Look at that $53 unholiness!

It looks like the gnarliest of warts stuck to Satan’s hoof:

What do you even need a Crocs fanny pack for? To hold condoms since you’ll get so much ass from wearing a double dose of potent hot sexiness? Definitely no.

Or maybe it’s to hold a piece of chalk, because when a mortal immediately dies in front of you from the sight of that ugliness, you’ll want to draw a pentagram around your newest human sacrifice to your lord Satan? Definitely yes!